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3rd time lucky

Hi everyone, i am back after quite some time, complete with new username (was CS0802 but lost log in details!)

Its 8 months since i lost my daughter, and although it got easier, in many ways it got harder.

I was so desperate to try again and could think of nothing else. The grief has been so hard and although at first my husband was supportive, he started to resent what we had become. He wanted to move on, and i couldnt and it very nearly split us up. its been so hard but we managed to talk through it all and come out the other side.

I concieved in July and was over the moon - i thought nothing could possibly go wrong - how could it after everything else?

I misscarried at around 4 weeks - very early but when you are so desperate every day counts and we were devastated.

I have tried to get back into a routinr since. Working all hours god sends, and trying to shut everything out until that time of month where the greif lifts for a day or so when there is hope.

I started doing pregnancy tests too early .... craving that 3 mins of hope when i 'could' be positive but knowing in my heart it wasnt possible. Until yesterday.

I am absolutley terrified. i cant event be happy yet. I am so scared something is going to go wrong again.

really hoping i can get through this one step at a time, but just so worried its all going to go wrong again


  • Oh gosh, bless you. I don't really chat here properly anymore, its too painful but just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and really hoping that things go right. Everyone here knows how scary it all is. I know its hard but try and be as positive as you can, take good care of yourself. I'm sure the others will be here to support you soon xxx
  • Thank you so much & although i cant begin to understand what you are still going through, i understand what you mean about it being really difficult talking sometimes.

  • 12 week scan today and no heartbeat. i had an early scan at 8 weeks, where everything was fine and they told me today that she died at around 8 + 4. no bleeding. no pain.

    i was due to have the stich on Thursday to make sure all went well.

    I was so hopeful. new year, new start. I didnt know what to do. Having spent so much time in that godforsaken place I had to get out. I was with my mum and mother in law, and they couldnt get hold of my doctor so I left. They didnt tell me what i needed to do next - or ask me to stay. Guess I was in shock but they should have explained? I think i need an operation?

    called 4 times before i spoke to someone to arrange an appointment to go back in tomorrow - they havent even said what i need to do now.
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