how long to return to 'normal'?

Blue_xStarx · Jan 6, 2012 1:36PM

HI Ladies,

Can I have your advice please. I found out yesterday my little bean no longer had a HB. I have decided to have a D and C , scheduled for Friday as I cant stand the thought of waiting naturally as I know I would drive myself insane waiting thinking there was still hope and also passing it naturally I would be getting upset that I could see the bean I was passing iykwim.

How long does it take for your body to return to normal? I know everyone is different but to hear some others experiances( if its not too upsetting for you) would really help me know what to expect. As you can tell from time of posting , I cant sleep my mind is at a 100 miles and hour with hundreds of questions xxx

Thanks you

KazzieM · Dec 20, 2011 7:02AM

Hi, sorry to hear your sad news. It's never easy & it will differ slightly depending on how far along you were & how your own body adjusts.

I was 7-8wks when I lost my 1st pregnancy, I bled continuously for about 9wks & settled into normal cycles within 2mths after that. The harder recovery was the mental/emotional one, it will be on your mind & you will find yourself worrying & comparing whilst TTC & pregnant.

Just remember that every pregnancy truely is different & that whilst this one sadly wasn't meant to be the time will come. Keep the faith & know you have friends & support here when needed. Best wishes hon.

KimmyS84 · Dec 20, 2011 7:57AM

I was really sorry to hear your news honey

I lost a baby in May, and it was quite an early MC so it all came away naturally, with no pain and not much in the way of bleeding

However, my cycles didn't go back to normal afterwards which was weird. My cycles off the pill were always regular (36 days) but after my MC my cycles were anywhere between 29 and 34 days (nothing major but very confusing when you are TTC). After a few months I ended up buying a CBOPK, which I found very very helpful, so at least I knew when I was OVing. The next month was when I became PG again

Kazzie is right, emotionally it is a difficult place to be in. I lost my first baby due to it being ectopic, and never thought I would have that sort of bad luck again. How could I? That wouldn't be fair. But of course it doesn't work like that, some women lose babies and others never do. I found myself quite angry about that

I still cry for my lost babies, and it is over 3 years since I lost my first one now- saying that, the pain gets less and you can look on things a bit more rationally. You will never forget

Big hugs, take some time for yourself and do what you feel you need to do in order to feel better about what has happened to you- anyone can give you advice, but you may find alot of it comes across as incredibly thoughtless and silly

Best of luck for Friday xxx

wol · Dec 20, 2011 9:17AM

Hi blue star. I had a mmc last month and my erpc at the end of Nov. I bled for a few days and the pain stopped after about a week. I decided to get straight back on with vit b6, ac and my ovulation sticks, and I know I ov last week, so for me I got back to normal pretty quickly by the look of things. I'm now waiting to do a test later this week.

I hope your erpc goes ok. I was very impressed with the care I received and it made it easier to deal with.

Blue_xStarx · Dec 24, 2011 5:34AM

Hi Ladies,

Thank you all very much for you help and advice. I had the ERPC yesterday morning. Really didnt like general anaesthetic but still it did its job. Was teary coming out of theatre thinking its all gone now but am feeling a lot better today , if a little sore. My Dh is being fab Wont let me lift a finger to do anything remotely strenuous and DS is being an angel.

Now its done I am not sure abt when to ttc again. On one hand I do think your right and maybe take a month or so off to recover but on the other hand right now I feel ok and I am wondering if once the busy Christmas period is over whether it will hit me then? Im just not sure. DH is apprehensive and wants me to recover and be ok before we start ttc again so I think we will wait until january before we make any decisions. Thank you for sharing your experiances with me it really did help as doctors just say everyone is different xxx

nicki31 · Dec 28, 2011 8:54AM

Hi Blue Star

Glad your feeling a little better since having ERPC. I had my first m/c in Aug 2010 and I never felt ready to start TTC again for a while. The GP said to leave it for 3months anyway. We TTC again around 8 months later but then unfortunately had another m/c in Aug 2011. I never would've waited so long to try if I thought it would happen again. Am now in process of trying again but no luck yet. Physically you will heal much quicker than emotionally, you will have good days and bad days but what you have to remember is that the healing process is completely normal and some days all you will do is have a good cry (which is allowed).

xx

Inka2012 · Dec 28, 2011 10:11AM

Hi,

Sorry to read your post and having to go in to hospital just before Christmas too. It's been 3 years since my mms and erpc mine was at 13 weeks. It took me 6 weeks to stop having positive preg tests (average 2 weeks) I bleed after 8 weeks. I read for hours and hours on the Internet and discovered that as you ve been pregnant your body is full of progesterone so in a great way to support another pregnancy so I started ttc again and was lucky became pregnant that month and had a healthy pregnancy.

If your ready mentally your body should be fine x i was then a nervous wreck with worry through all my scans but all was fine xx

Take care and hope you have a good New year and happier time soon x

Blue_xStarx · Dec 29, 2011 5:09AM

Hi Nicki - Thank you for your advice. Im sorry to hear what happened to you it really is so unfair. I do think I agree and will start trying sooner rather than later.

I had a couple of bad days this week when I felt exhausted and began bleeding hevaily with clots again but Dr saif no to worry but today I am feeling more positive.

Inka I didnt realise your body was better equipped straight after MC. Just need to convince my DH now who is a little more wary about ttc straight away more because of the emotional side and he worrys the MC may affect the chances of a pregnancy so soon after being sucessful. As far as I am aware it doesnt as your body will reutrn to normal when its ready to support another pregnancy?? or at least thats my thinking.

Thanks for your advice xx

Inka2012 · Dec 29, 2011 9:32AM

Hi,

I was determined to give myself the best chance to become pregnant again (as for me that's all I could think about) I'd read for and against waiting or trying soon but everything I read agreed to wait for at least one cycle then body should be well equipped x

The main reason for waiting is the emotional side but for me my emotions were driving me to ttc but that's not the same for everyone, understand why your partner anxious very difficult time x

Inka x

wol · Dec 29, 2011 9:52AM

Hi,

I'm glad you're starting to feel better after your erpc. I just thought is post and let you know I got a bfp yesterday after my erpc last month. I am thrilled but also nervous after last time. I am using progesterone cream this time to try and make sure my progesterone levels stay high. Good luck with ttc - I know everyone is different, but for me I think getting pregnant again so quickly will help getting over my miscarriage.

missdaisydays · Dec 29, 2011 4:38PM

so sorry too I had silent miscarriage in November found out a week after my 30th birthday at 12 week scan. I was so happy it was the best present in the world. I ended up having natural miscarriage on 2nd December though was very traumatic I was ok and only bledd for two weeks while it all happened. had some discharging and odd spots of bloods when wiping for another two weeks. sorry if to much info.

I was so devasted and still do feel teary but with help of my family and good friends i am trying to look to the future and belive it can happen again. Just reading advice for ttc diets and ow to get my bmi down it was 27 at the hospital so guess have chance to get it down now. It is such hard thing emotionally and I didn't want lot of my friends knowing so had to cancel things which I guess made everyone ask questions and few people actually tried to suss if I was pregnant. That was upsetting but guess they don't know.

I went to bereavement counselling session which helped. I may go back in new year for another one. She said it's normally to go through a range of emotions the worst one for me was jealousy. As i really didn't like that but at xmas I was able to play with my cousins baby and se my pregnant friend and I was ok so guess we're stronger than we think. Hope you feel better soon and hope 2012 brings us all a healthy pregnancy . really do

Blue_xStarx · Dec 30, 2011 2:10PM

Thanks Inka - I do think I will be ready once bleeding stops but not sure if I wil OPK or temp for the first month and just maybe see if it happens naturally

WOLUK - CONGRATULATIONs what a lovely christmas pressie . sending you lots of sticky baby dust. PS whats progesterone cream for and where do you get it? I have never heard of it! sounds magic

Miss Daisy I am sorry for your loss. I agree it is hard to look around at others with small babies or those who are pregnantand not be jealous. We took the decision to tell family about the MC so they didnt put their foot in it and say smething that would have had me bursting into tears. I was anxious about this but in the end I really appreciated their support. Next time I think I will tell them Im pg in the early days as I have to tell work anyway for safety reasons so I suppose they might as well know. I wish you all the best for ttc in 2012.

Lets hope its filled with sticky baby dust xxx

mrslennon · Jan 1, 2012 6:57PM

Hi Blue_xStarx

I was also in DIJ and have just had d+c a few days ago... maybe we can heal together...

I was also wondering when things went back to normal, though I was nowhere near normal before i fell pg. I have polycyctic ovaries and the cycle it all worked was 64 days long

but it was also a cycle I'd totally given up hope for. so now I just want to start straight away so it happens sooner but sort of feel like my body might make it harder for me and that it wont work til I give up again.

Didn't mean to take over your thread

Good luck xx

Blue_xStarx · Jan 2, 2012 3:47PM

Hi Mrs Lennon - Im sorry to hear about your bean. How are you feeling now after D + C? I felt physically ok , a bit tender but ok until about 5 days after when I dropped like a fly from tiredness and hevay bleeding which came from no where.

I hope the D + C helps with your polycystic ovaries, it may make you more fertile this month?? I know what you mean about not getting hopes too high. I had also given up hope with this pregnancy as I had had what I thought was a period but 3/4 days early, it was only when I tested a week or so later I got a surprise positive. The Dr thought it was residual initially but on the 2nd scan I saw the HB only for it not to be there a week and a half later so it was a very strange pregnancy from the beginning.

I hope you start to feel better soon. I know the busyness of the festive season has pulled me through but these last few days have been feeling quite down. Am slapping myself now to try and keep up the PMA!

Anytime you want a chat though shout. xxx

mrslennon · Jan 2, 2012 8:03PM

That does sound quite unusual, how many week were you? Did you have blood tests that were normal??

To be honest I found the d+c to be quite a traumatic experience, although I still rather that than to have to pass it naturally.

I found out at 12 wk scan (acually 11+4) that baby had stopped growing at 8+4 which I kind of knew was going to happen as I had been spotting for about 2 weeks before. Two days later I was in our local hospital for the op. They gave me the tablets orally which made me really sick and gave me the most intense abdo pain I've felt in my life. And pretty much I cried all day. Didn't get discharged until 10.15pm after getting there at 8am.

The next day I felt so sore all over my entire body but not much bleeding, though it has been heavier the last couple of days. And I am about 5 days after too but am still on pain killers for cramps. Actually on the 3rd day I was having crazy pains every 5 minutes for about 4 hours and was about to head back to our emergency department... did you find out what your bleeding was??

I WILL have PMA later but right now I'm just letting myself greive. I was sort of trying to accept and get over it straight away but a social worker at the hospital told me its normal to mourn the loss of a baby of any age and that it can be just as hard emotionally to lose one at 40 weeks as at 12. So she said to expect to go through all the stages of greif and they will call me in a few days to see how I'm doing

ahh look at me babbling again. once I start I can't stop at the moment...

Blue_xStarx · Jan 4, 2012 7:24AM

I was 8 1/2w when I found out. It was all very strange. The 'AF' was just not right in my head. It stopped and started and was strange hence why in the end I tested. The Dr when I first went gave me anti biotics for an infection which they said could have caused the bleeding She said it was this or likely inplantation bleeding (started around 11 dpo so not a million miles out) but I could never believe that as it was so heavy I did treat it as a period. I am trying not to dwell on that to much as part of me worries it was the using of tampons that caused the infection and perhaps subsequent MC. I had 2 early scans - 1st showed yolk / sac and second showed HB. I thought I could relax at that point so when I had a very small fresh bleed I really had convinvced myself I was overreacting on the mornig of the scan so was shocked when the lady said bean had more than doubled in size but no more HB.

I am sorry you found it so traumatic and painful. Like you I couldnt bear the thought of passing it naturally mainly incase I saw something I didnt want to see and D + C was the best option for me. The whole op wasnt bad I did get teary coming out of theatre . It sounds like you had a very long day in hospital when Im sure you wanted nothing more than to be at home.

I havent had any pain that paracetamol hasnt been able to manage so have really been quite lucky in that respect. I think I am suffering more with tiredness and I dont know why. The blood clots I passed I thought were huge ( abt size of a 50p coin) until I rang the gynae ward. The Dr was lovely and said unles its a constant heavy flow and / or clot clots the size of my fist not to worry but if that did happen go to A and E. The heavy flow stopped within a couple of hours so I didnt have to do anything else.

Physically things I thing are more or less healed with me now. I think my ds and christmas kept me going but I am now starting to feel quite down about it all.

I hope you are starting to fell a little better as well. Its one heck of a thing for your body to go through without even considering the emotional effect. Big hugs

PS I do the rambling thing to .... clearly lol xxxx

lisabby · Jan 4, 2012 8:44AM

im thinking the same, some of you might have read my post already, i had a m.c on the 31st/1st and still bleeding and clotting now, even tough it is gettin a tad better, my m.c happened when i would normaly get my period anyway, which i think they call a chemical pregnancy, so im wondering do yous think it will go back to the same 29th/30th since my m.c happened then too :S so confused now as had been fobbed of sayint they didnt think it was, they thought was cause i had a urine infection is why i was bleeding and clotting but not, no more bean.

im also feeling very tired and i have been resting lots so dont know why, im sleeping like over half the day!

hope you ladies are getting through, i was only like 4-5 weeks gone, but still mentaly harming!

mrslennon · Jan 4, 2012 8:06PM

lisalibby - I have no experience with chemical pregs but I was under the impression that if it was infact chemical (egg fertelized but not properly implanting) that you cycle should pretty much go striaght back to normal or a couple of days out, but I have nothing to back that up though so you might want to do some research

I feel like I've heard somewhere that you heal while your asleep, as in thats all you body needs to focus on so maybe that why were all so tired??

I'm not as sore as I was so thats a relief. This was my first pregnancy so now I'm going through the "can my body even do this" thoughts which is a bit depressing.

When are you girls planning on trying again? I've heard and read SO many different opinions on when is best/safest that I just don't know. I'm sort of feeling like if I don't start straight away I'll end up talking myself out of it completely

lisabby · Jan 5, 2012 4:07AM

Your body can do it just sometime the cells and things don't form properly so therefor our body rejects it, its very uncommon to have 2 miscarriges in a row, I was told to lead it at lease 1 cycle after your m.c to try again is safest just so you know everything from before is away, yeah your body heals when your asless that's why burns people/ truama patients are put in to an induced coma, I'm still a hit tired and back still achey a bit but the bleeding has near enough stopped so that's a plus as it was horrible, it started on normal date and has finished on normal date too, hope ur feeling a bit better, I went through a few days of thinking 'maybe it was my fault as my body couldn't carry it' but don't think bad as your next time will be so different xx

Blue_xStarx · Jan 6, 2012 6:36AM

Hi Lisabby - I think your cycles should return to normal pretty much straight away . Dont worry about trying again straight away as long as you feel ready. The Dr told me the only reason they advise it is to assist in accurate dating in early PG. Hope you achey soreness had eased and you are starting to feel better. Big hugs xx

Mrs Lennon - Im glad the pain is easing . I didnt realise that about you body healing when your asleep , will explain why I am wiped out. I was worried I was getting a touch depressed but that reassures me.

Please dont worry about being able to carry, if anything this shows you can concieve naturally. As Lisabby says its really unlikely that the next PG would result in same. In fact remeber the MW saying to me after they had given us the bad news, I was asking was there anything I could have done to prevent this MC or prevent in future and she said , no your next pregnancy will be fine ! I hope when it happens I have her confidence! Im sure we will both be wonderful.

Oh forgot I am waiting for a BFN as still showing a faint positive on cheapies and them am going to start ttc pretty much straight away. Im a fairly sure I am ok about this and aslong as I dont get my hopes up too much it will give me something to concentrate thats positive. Have you decided what you will do? xx

lisabby · Jan 6, 2012 8:49AM

thanks blue, im feeling alot better today, still tired but think cause ive been so used to the past week just sleeping, im getting a bit lazy lol.

aw i did a preg test tike 2 days after bleed started, and said not pregnant so im guessing thats me, i have a scan on wednesday to make sure its all away, it was ment to be a scan to check what was going on but now i know there nothing there i suppose there just doing it to check, horrible though, i dont want to see nothing in my belly! i wanna see a bean!!! lol. we are going to wait till maybe march as my OH goin on 6 months army training so we tryna fit it round pregnancy so hes finished before the birth lol.

are you gonna try straight away Blue or are you gonna wait a bit ? xx

how long to return to 'normal'?

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