I'm not trying to compare my history with yours, you have been through so much more, but having lost babies I just wanted to say I totally understand why you'd want to get back to TTC ASAP. It's nothing to do with forgetting or getting over your losses, they will always be remembered and your boys will be part of your life forever whether or not you got to take them home.
It's to do with wanting to have your child and the only way that's going to happen is to find away to get back to TTC. Although I found my MC's devastating, I always returned to TTC ASAP, because I felt if I didn't I may miss my opportunity to ever become a Mum as unfortunately time doesn't stand still for us women. I found the thought of using contraception after all the years of trying really upsetting, it was like we had given up hope. For us and it seems from what you've written it's similar for you, having a baby became our life, and even just after a loss, when I wasn't TTCing whilst I waited for test results etc.. I felt lost. It was as though TTC gave me hope and something to focus on, it helped me get up in the morning and get on with life when I felt like the world wasn't fair for not giving us the one thing we wanted.
You will go through so many emotions, and some people may not understand them all, but don't beat yourself up over it. I was so ashamed that I felt jealous of people who had babies, or fell pregnant accidentally, during those years when things just wouldn't happen for us, but actually looking back now they were just emotions I had to go through, and weren't personal to the people having the babies. I wished them well, I just it to happen to me too, and what's so wrong with that?
You are both incredibly strong, and I very much doubt anyone would have any other opinion than that. Take care and please don't let something like fear of other people's opinions stop you doing what you feel is right. xx
Replies
You have been missed!! You never need to justify, as every situation is unique. Big hugs x
I'm not trying to compare my history with yours, you have been through so much more, but having lost babies I just wanted to say I totally understand why you'd want to get back to TTC ASAP. It's nothing to do with forgetting or getting over your losses, they will always be remembered and your boys will be part of your life forever whether or not you got to take them home.
It's to do with wanting to have your child and the only way that's going to happen is to find away to get back to TTC. Although I found my MC's devastating, I always returned to TTC ASAP, because I felt if I didn't I may miss my opportunity to ever become a Mum as unfortunately time doesn't stand still for us women. I found the thought of using contraception after all the years of trying really upsetting, it was like we had given up hope. For us and it seems from what you've written it's similar for you, having a baby became our life, and even just after a loss, when I wasn't TTCing whilst I waited for test results etc.. I felt lost. It was as though TTC gave me hope and something to focus on, it helped me get up in the morning and get on with life when I felt like the world wasn't fair for not giving us the one thing we wanted.
You will go through so many emotions, and some people may not understand them all, but don't beat yourself up over it. I was so ashamed that I felt jealous of people who had babies, or fell pregnant accidentally, during those years when things just wouldn't happen for us, but actually looking back now they were just emotions I had to go through, and weren't personal to the people having the babies. I wished them well, I just it to happen to me too, and what's so wrong with that?
You are both incredibly strong, and I very much doubt anyone would have any other opinion than that. Take care and please don't let something like fear of other people's opinions stop you doing what you feel is right. xx
(big hugs)