Ready to get pregnant but...

Hi everyone!

I know I'm ready to get pregnant I have actually had this feeling for over a year. At first I thought it was just because everyone around me was getting pregnant or having babie, but the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months and one day i found myself thinking about baby names and that's when I knew that something was missing in my life... I'm 26 years old and have been married for 5 and a half years, we own a house, have good jobs, and love eac other very much. So one day a gathered the courage to tell my husband that I was ready to have kids and he was repulsed by the idea. We always talked about waiting a few years before getting pregnant since we got married so young but now it's being 5 years and he is abs not ready to have kids (he won't even carry or take care of our little niece). After our first conversation I figured I had to give it some time and maybe try to talk about it  again (on a good day when he is no tired) and his reaction was bad (if not worse than before). Ever since i told him that I was ready he has been extremely careful when we have sex (Since I'm no using any ty of birth control and he knows it) but I honestly don't want to get preg while he is with that attitude of  rejection toward kids. This has made our sex life so stressful because he freaks out during and after we are together (which makes me feel awful). I'm really loosing my minds and i really wish I could talk to someone about it i dont want my friends and family to hold a grudge because everyone is ready and waiting for us to have a baby.. please,  is anyone out there who has had the same or similar problem ? Or knows someone who has the same problem? 

im running out of ideas and I'm scared to admit that we might have to get a divorce because I can't imagine a life without kids..

Posts

  • This is like a mirror image of my life. I'm 30 been married for 5 years and together for 10 years! we have great jobs just moved into a lovely 4 bed detached house nice cars great holidays out for dinner you name it!!!!!!Both of us always said we weren't wanting children.. In fact we always said no.. My husband was the same he used to freak out after sex.. Now we are pregnant!! He went bananas for like an hour when he i told him.. Now it's the best thing that's happened you spoke it's brought us even closer together!! This is a big year for us to do with my husbands job my brothers getting married I just turned 30 we have a lot of family events so really timing couldn't have been worse! But it's happened and we are delighted!!! Maybe you'll get the same outcome xx

  • I was with my ex boyfriend for 10 years, he never wanted more children, at first I was young and didn't but then things changed... I did.  i tried to fight it, kept telling myself I didn't and that I'm too selfish to be a mother (even that I liked my sleep too much) years later I resented him and our relationship and eventually walked away.  It was hard at the time but the best thing I ever did and should of done it sooner.  I did try to walk away sooner but he then told me he didn't want to lose me that he could see I would be a good mother and that he wanted to try for a baby after all... Of course he was just saying that because he didn't want to lose me and when it actually came down to it he had to admit he couldn't go through with it.  We drifted along for a while but eventually I had to put an end too it.  

  • I know it's clearly not an easy subject to bring up if it makes him angry etc, but I think it's important to at least establish a timescale of when he thinks he'll be ready, if he says a year then I'm sure you could manage to wait, if he says 10 years then I guess you have to make a few large decisions. 

  • I wonder that's really sad omg I'm not in ur situation I'm with a realy nice guy and I'm 17 weeks pregnant to be honest I think u deserve to be with someone better I know it's hard but it's once in a life time u will be able to have a baby and if he doesn't   want one then u should be with someone who will want one 2 you deserve to have a family trust me I would feel the same as u if I was in your situation, your just going to have to do what best for you and do what you want trust be you only life once and having a family is the best thing anyone could ask for. Good luck I hope u will do what's best for you. Xxx

  • Thanks everyone for your replies. It makes me feel better reading that some people know how I'm feeling and that I'm not going insane! Lol... It's very hard seeing everyone getting pregnant and not being able to even try ! .. I will talk to my husband tonight when he gets home from work and try to figure out if  he even wants to have kids at all!! 

    I will let you know how that goes (keep your fingers crossed) 😁

  • Good luck wonderer 

  • Stay strong x

  • Good luck wondered I think talking to him is the right thing to do, if he doesn't want to listen about it your just going to tell him how you feel about it and how it's really affecting you and your relationship. Good luck

    i will keep my fingers crossed.

  • I wonderer have u spoke to ur hubby yet I hope everything's works out .!

  • Hi Angle xoxo yes I talked to him and he finally heard what I had to say!! At first he was very upset because he thought that I was forcing him to have a baby, but then I explained that I just want him to start opening to the idea because I need to know if he wants to have kids at all ! .. he was surprisingly quiet the whole time (which actually worried me a little bit) . After we talked I told him that I was going to give him some time to think about it and everything went back to normal...  we haven't talked about it ever since.. how much time do you think I should give him? i honestly think about it all the time...  

  • Doesn't sound good if I'm honest Wonderer. It's up to you how long you give him.  Only you know how long you can wait but don't let it go then one day realise its too late.  If you have plenty of time and aren't too bothered he may change his mind in time but who knows he might not

  • I agree with meme210 just don't leave it to late as ur will regret it.xxx

  • I know!!.. I don't really think I can wait that long but lately he has been I the worst mood.. I don't know if it's because he wants to avoid the subject ? 

  • He sounds very strange

  • yeah he does  a bit  like who doesn't want to have a family you should tell him what it's doing to u and how it's affecting u and how u want a family with him and if he doesn't just say well I don't think its going to work I know it's hard I couldn't imagine what ur going through I really hope that u will have this sorted out goos luck Hun 

  • I know some people don't want children but most are completely upfront about it 

  • That's true but then if he doesn't want on then she has to suffer 

  • It's very hard and strange too!! i don't know anyone that has this problem So I really don't know how to react. im very resented and moody too because he is being so unreasonable.. I just wish we could sit down and talk about it and tell each other what we want from this relationship and figure out if we should even be together but he makes everything like a riddle and I can't keep up .. Talking to him is so hard because it always ends in a fight! I hate complaining but I really need to vent! Thanks guys for listening! 

  • your welcome Wonderer, you have to get your answer though soon no matter how he behaves or it will drive you mad, literally.  

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