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Trying to get pregnant after a miscarriage Part 10

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  • Claire I'm so sorry for your loss:(

    welcome to the thread glad we've helped you in some way:)

    You will slowly find it easier to come to terms with with but we never forget:/

    Being in your 30's is certainly not too old I had my youngest now 5 at 34 and was text book:)

    Ive since suffered 4 mscgs at 21 weeks , 2 at 5 weeks and last one this Feb at 12 wks.

    Its a tough journey but I've learnt to stay positive and this thread helps me too:)

    Big hugs to you and we'll give you lots of support xxx

  • Welcome Claire, really sorry for your loss. It will get easier, sometimes it doesn't seem like it will and like mma said, you'll never forget but you will slowly get back to happier times I promise xx

    Quick update on my appointment, after being there for 2 hours the consultant had a 5 minute chat to confirm what happened last time and then said shed ask for my cervix to be checked at my 20 week scan!! Me and my partner questioned this as I felt it a complete waste of my time for something which could have been said over the phone. she then begrudgingly said if she could find a free scanner she would try and scan me, luckily there was one and she done an internal, my cervix is measuring 3cm at the moment which they're happy with and will check again at 20 weeks. Bloody cheek though considering they had already lost my referral from my midwife! Really doesnt put my mind at ease when these people which are supposed to be consultants are so unhelpful and non urgent!  

    On a brighter note though I did get to hear babys heart and I have booked a private gender scan for Saturday! Xx

  • Thanks for all your wishes ladies still no name yet hoping to have one by the end of the day hope everyone is doing ok. Keep going your all get there xxx

  • Congrats cberg- hope you enjoy every monute with your new baby!

    Im struggling to sleep again tonight... its been exactly one year since my erpc today. Feeling mixed about it all... so much has happened in the year since- good and bad- its quite overwhelming to see how different i am now.

    3 weeks till this baby comes, everything is done and ready. Got the day by myself tomorrow (oh working 12 hour shift) and nothing to distract myself with :-/. And of course im the only one who remembers what date it is....

    Hope everyone is doing ok xxx

  • Much love Apricot and lots of hugs 😘

    We never forget eh:(

    Enjoy maybe a nice stroll if the weather is ok it's very good for helping you feel better xxx

  • Sending big hugs Apricot we will never forget them dates I'm the same, why not  go and get your self pampered nice pedicure and manicure  is always nice when your nearly due, I know when I get that far along in pregnancy I can't even see my toes let alone get to them 😂 xxxxx 

  • Thanks ladies... i think youre both right- ill try and get out today xxx

  • Thinking of you Apricot and sending hugs.Enjoy your last few weeks of this pregnancy before your snuggle bunny arrives x x 

  • Why does it hurt so much?? I have this dark cloud above me and it just won't shift. i was signed off till next week and my manager has been asking me to go back as she said it's for the best. ive tried to go in this morning and I'm sobbing at the station I've had to come home :( everything is a struggle :( I feel nothing but sadness. 

  • ClaireB I feel your pain Hun but hang in there it does it bareable I wouldn't say easier but bearable.. I had a miscarriage not long ago but I look at my other children and think I've got to carry on for them it's made it a little more easier thinking I have to look after the ones here before they suffer too 

    good luck beaut and reat and take as much time as yiu cab x

  • Thanks Emma Louise I really appreciate your reply xxxx 

  • ClaireB it is so hard, I just couldn't function either. Only you know what you need to get through this so dont go back to work if your not ready. Big Hugs!!! xxx

  • Apricot, thinking of you and sending lots of love. Hope you manage to get out today and the day is as gentle for you as can be. Dates have a huge significance in loss and we all understand that. 

    ClaireB-try not let people push you when you are not ready if possible. People who have not experienced loss struggle to understand that it is not just the loss that is hard to deal with but the many questions why and the aftermath of emptiness. Take things slow and allow yourself to grieve. It will become less raw as time passes but it will never leave. Lots of hugs! 

    Xx

  • Big hugs Claire I think of my angels every day but I'm slowly finding it easier to cope.

    It's very early days for you yet you're at the start of the grieving process and it can take a while. You need to cry and talk your feelings through ( even if it's 2-3 times per day on here with us) don't bottle up how you feel. It's very important you let it all out as its part of that process

    As each week goes by you'll suddenly realise that longer periods go by and you've not thought of your little bean as much as you are now. Those thoughts will never go away but will be less raw:)

    Big hugs to you sweetie. Maybe try to get out the house each day even if just for a short walk whilst listening to some fave music. Take some more time off work though as its too soon for you but keep busy somehow even if it's cleaning or painting a room!

  • Hi all

    So sorry to hear of your pain Claire and Apricot, and everyone else too. We will get through this but right now it just doesn't seem like it does it. 

    I am still waiting for the results of tests for the molar pregnancy. I feel like it's forced me to stop and grieve for squirt (our name for little bean) whereas before I was putting everything in to trying again and now I am not allowed. I am really struggling with what I think are quite strange feelings. I just feel that the next pregnancy won't be 'good enough' or as special because it's not squirt. I won't have the same really close age gap between my babies which would have been so special. It just feels that it would be 'wrong'. Does that make any sense. I don't want another baby I want the one I lost. Except of course I DO want another baby really. Sorry I know that's really rambling and makes no sense at all. And I hope it doesn't sound insensitive xx

  • Thanks girls you have all been a huge support I really appreciate it! It's so comforting to know I can turn to this forum so pleased I found it! My husband has gone back to work today but his really struggling to! Ive never felt pain like it! 

    thinking of you Austin xxxx I know exactly how you feel! 

    Thinking you apricot xxx

  • Wow MIL just texted me 'are you pregnant again yet' That's hit me like a tonne of bricks 

  • Austin I felt exactly the same, my husband would try and console me saying don't worry we will get pregnant again soon and I just felt that I didn't want a new baby I wanted to still be pregnant with squirtle (that's what we had been calling our bean) when your pregnant you make plans and think about all the things you will do with your baby and when it all get ripped away i think it's normal to feel this way. 

    I am hoping I will start to feel better when we do get pregnant again but I'm sad that we won't ever get to enjoy any pregnancy properly because we will always be so worried now. Xxx

  • Austin just ignore it that's a little insensitive !

    If only it were that simple:/

  • So last night my OH decided (on my OV day I might add and in a restaurant) that he doesn't want to TTC anymore and actually wants to use protection from now on!!! 

    Says we need to save some more money and wait and then try next year - my argument is that it doesn't work like that - took us over a year to fall with my MC and I will be older.

    We have;t used BC since we got together always just said if it happens it happens, and now he's actually taking about using condoms....

    Am NOT impressed to say the least and I certainly won't be buying any condoms - he can - lets see how long he lasts without any sex, because quite frankly I don't even want to speak to him right now, let alone sleep with him!!!

    Considering it was him that said lets try properly..... am wondering if all the temping and ov sticks has freaked him out!!! Or more likely that his mum is away and his dad has been putting stuff in his head... he is 44 FFS - think for yourself!!!! Make or break i think for us right now! :(

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