Confused, not a question just need to get things off my chest

Hey ladies, 

First time posting on here, but I just feel like I need to get things off my chest. 

This is the first month that my husband and I have being TTC and it is so stressful. I am such a planner and a worrier and when things aren't going my way I get hugely stressed. 

I am worried because yesterday (22/10/2016) and today (23/10/2016) I did an ovulation test and they are both positive. A little history on my periods in the past since January 

January- Started 25th finished 29th

February- Started 22nd finished 26th

March- Started 18th finished 22nd

April- Started 20th finished 24th 

May- Started 18th finished 22nd

June- Started 17th finished 21st

July- Started 19th finished 23rd

August- Started 13th finished 17th

September- We went on holiday for 3 weeks so I took Utovlan from 14th September and I started my period 1st October and finished 5th October, this was very light in comparison to my usual periods. 

From 6th October we have (I think the term I have read a lot is baby danced?! But made love- unprotected) 6th, 8th, 11th, 12th, 14th, 16th, 17th, 19th, 21st and 22nd October. I am at a loss as to a positive on OPK this late as surely it should have been earlier. 

I just feel so annoyed at myself for taking Utovlan, I wish I had just have put up with AF in order to keep my cycle relatively normal. I really wanted to be able to announce a BFP on Christmas, however it doesn't look likely. I even did a HPT yesterday just in case, but it was a BFN. 

Apologies for this little rant/moan as I know people have been TTC for much much longer and I feel selfish, I just have nobody else to talk to this about. Husband does not understand ovulation and LP, I have no girlfriends and I don't want family to know we are TTC. 

x

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