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TTC - feels like it’s just not happening, nearing previous EDD 😒

Really in need of people to talk to about all this 😒 I try everyday to be so positive and move on from whats happened but finding it impossible

Its been 6 months since my early miscarriage. It was absolutely horrible, heartbreaking... The elation of a BFP to cramps... bleeding and understanding what had happened. I should be heavily pregnant right now, nearing arrival of my baby but instead I’m still TTC!  

I’m trying everything in TTC even being totally laid back to completely take the stress away, I don’t track anything, use OPK’s as I found it put more emotional stress on me! But every cycle comes some kind of symptom - even though I try to push the whole thing out of my mind - I’ve never had before that is a pregnancy symptom - almost as if my body is playing cruel tricks on me 😒 I really wanted to be pregnant by the end of the year and my EDD, to help cope with it but just doesn’t feel like it’s happening.

Yet it feels like everyone around me is falling pregnant at the drop of the hat. People who aren’t in a position to have a baby, or throw away the opportunity to have a baby or simply just don’t step up and be a parent and let others do the work... drives me insane because I would do anything to become a Mummy! Feels like it’s getting harder everytime. 

Sorry for the rant but would really appreciate likeminded people with their own experiences to talk to xx

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  • Hi again Katie gosh you sound just like me at the moment. We have been trying for a year now and I just can't make sense or come to terms with our situation. Likewise every one around me is either pregnant or got kids (half of them don't even appreciate them!!) and makes me feel very sad and bitter about our situation. Most days I cry and because no one knows we are ttc I feel completely alone! It's good to vent and let it all out, this is what this forum is for. What are you're plans moving forward? Are you thinking about seeking medical help? 

  • Hi LaceyTil, thanks for responding!

    it’s bittersweet to have someone understand what you’re going through, you’re glad because you have someone to talk to but it’s also sad because you know how horrible it is to experience it!

    It makes me bitter too. Especially when people don’t work, are in unstable relationships, dont look after the kids and pop kids out like there’s no tomorrow... I’m so set up for a baby, money.. house.. me and my OH really want it but it’s just not happening! I can’t help but cry all the time and no one really gets it! But I get asked a lot about do you want kids? When are you going to have kids etc? I just wish it was a question no body asked! 

    Going forward I’m unsure as to whether to try OPK’s again... or something like Preseed. Lots of things I’ve heard about that i’d love to try! I aldo want to be 100% better at taking my vitamins again, I’ve let myself slip lately and worried that’s limited my chances, but feeling so emotional I just forgot to take them! 

    I saw a doctor in June 2 months after my MC, and she said if not pregnant by the end of the year to come back and they’ll run tests, as I’m only 21 and apart from the early MC, I’ve not used birth control for up to 2 years. So 2 more months trying, and then will have to seek medical help - I wish it won’t come to that! 

    What about you? Xx

  • Reading this post and I could have written it myself. Been ttc for a year and i am finding it really difficult to cope with not getting bfp. Constantly getting asked when we will have a baby and at the moment have four friends with babies under a year. It’s juet so hard to take and we are desperate for a baby.

  • I can 100% relate!! likewise we are in a place in our life where we are so ready for a baby. It's so hard not to compare ourselves with others especially when things don't make sense or seem fair.  Ohh and the whole "when are you having a baby" question is getting tiring. I just say "we are practising" then that usually is enough to shut most people up. We're going to give it 2more cycles then will go to my doctors to get thi rolling and hopefully get some answers. I just can't believe we are this point, I feel like a failure.. 

  • Totally know what you mean about failure. Every month I thought it will happen this month and we won’t need to go to a doctor x

  • Katielou I sent u a PM xxx

  • Sorry I didn’t reply sooner ladies. I totally get where you’re both coming from with feeling like a failure, some people say they had to try for a little while but still in reality for them it was 2 or 3 cycles, friends who have also had MC fell pregnant within a couple cycles... I can’t help but feel so jealous and angry at my own body, why can’t it just do what it was meant to!! 

    Doesnt help that my OH sometimes says things without realising the impact they have, we were in tescos once and we were looking at the baby clothes - as we walked through the section and my OH turned to me and said ‘Oh can’t you just be pregnant already!’ I responded saying ‘Trust me I’m trying everything I can’ He said it in jest but that makes me feel worse. 

    What CD is everyone on?? I’m nearing AF due, although not sure an exact date, having a bit of a weird cycle - either I didn’t ovulate or just didn’t catch this month - weird sympyoms confusing nonetheless Xx

  • Hi girls

    i definitely feel your pain been TTC for 13 months and our friends just told us they were pregnant again (unplanned and their first is just a toddler); should be happy for them but I’m so bitter! Me and my hubby had a massive row about it yesterday.

    it’s killing me. I’ve never been pregnant (despite having episodes of ’not being careful’). As awful as this sounds, at least you know you are capable of getting pregnant mate. I’m starting to think I’m infertile and it’s never going to happen for us 😒

    AF is due for me in a couple of days too, dreading it as it breaks my heart every time but I’m pretty sure she’s on the way. 

    Baby dust to every1 🧚🏻‍β™€οΈβœ¨ xx

  • How old is everybody btw? I’m almost 30 so I feel like the clock is definitely ticking!! 

    Xx

  • I’m 21 Ariel856 xx

  • I really hope I don’t sound patronising but you are still young, you have time. However [if I knew it would take this long to conceive] I would have started a couple of years back. Maybe I’m too old 😒

    xx

  • I know I have time - lots of time but being off birth control for nearly 2 years and fallen pregnant once and having the miscarraige, being so young is not really normal. There are people older than me who have concieved easily. Just because I am young, doesn’t mean I have all the time in the world as if there are already problems inside - then I’d rather know about them! Thought it would happen a lot sooner than this though, especially by the end of the year, you are no way too old, I know plenty of people who have conceived children way older! It will happen one day, hopefully for us all xx

  • I didn’t mean to take offence and I 100% understand your frustation

    xx

  • And I hope we all get our BFP’s soon πŸ™πŸ»βœ¨

    xx

  • I am 31. I didn’t want to try until after we got married. Been married just over a year and it’s hard not to regret getting married younger. Been together sinice we were 16. i sound like the worst person but have a niece who I adore who is just over one and every time brother invitee us round I feel sick that it’s to tell us they are expecting again. It’s so hard not to begrudge other people even though you know you are being horrible and irrational x

  • I totally wasn’t prepared for the mental struggle of it at all. TMI but we werent big on sex before ttc more into the other intimate things lol so even the pressure to have sex every second day is a lot when both working and got other things going on x

  • Its okay Ariel856, I understand your side of it too... it’s just a horribke journey to be regardless, so hoping we all get those BFP’s soon too ✨xx 

    I totally agree with you Oj19, I did not understand how mentally this would take over my life. 2 people at work announced their pregnancies, a friend found out she was pregnant a month after my MC, lots of people I know due around my previous EDD, it breaks my heart everytime. I wish it didn’t but it does. Hoping it will happen soon for us both!

    How are you getting on atm? What CD are you?? Xx

  • Day 16 so on the dreaded tww. Decided if doesn’t happen this month going to brave up and go to the doctors. Just feel upset that it’s got to that stage but as my husband says doesn’t matter how a baby gets here as long as it does get here!

  • Out of interest does anyone know you are ttc? We haven’t explicitly told anyone but a lot of assuming. Almost want to tell people it’s not happening just to shut them up.X

  • I’m hoping we don’t have to go down the doctor route, but I totally agree with your husband, as long as baby gets here we’ll Be happy! 

    I’m CD23, of a 25-28 day cycle, last cycle came 5 days earlier as I ovulated earlier. This cycle I feel different and not like usual but I know how bodies can play tricks so I have no idea what to think xx

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