Help! Trying for a baby for 2 years - physically, mentally and emotionally done

Evening All

apologies for new thread. I needed a boost and some one to talk to that doesnt know me as I feel I’m hitting rock bottom. 

Me and my husband have been trying for 2 years! I’m 28 years old since starting I was totally obsessed used to take every slight symtom that I thought I felt as a sign of being pregnant. I cried every time I came on at the end of the month. 

I went to the doctors of course to seek some help but yep as usually they shrug it off and say it will happen dont stress have sex every other day it will happen when your times right. Like I’m sick of hearing this allll the time! Anyway I had blood test done to see if anything showed up and I had A low immune system to rubella. The injection meant I couldn’t try to conceive for 3 months. This horrified me but at the same time I thought it give me and my husband the time to enjoy sex and not pressurise ourselves to do it. Also of course gives me a break. 

this month was the time I could start trying again.  im so relaxed more then I have ever been not stressed taken folic acid and pregnacare. its come to the end of the month I haven’t felt the period pain I normally feel a week before except an ache in my lower back. Of course thoughts come flooding in that prehaps this is it I’m in a happy place me and my husband have had sex every other day (I find it hard to know when I’m ovulating I don’t have signs Iv tried ovulation kits they clearly don’t work for me). so just now I thought I’d take a pregnancy test 2 days before period is due I took an early predictor test. Of course it came back negative (test was chucked against the wall in pure frustration) and to make matters worse when I wiped myself I started my period! 

I’m so physically mentally and emotionally done I’m so tired of feeling so down and upset I just don’t know what to do anymore. How is something that’s meant to me so natural be so hard. cant keep facing disappointment 

Sorry for being negative I just needed to poor my heart 


  • You have absolutely nothing to feel sorry for. The ttc journey is an emotional rollercoaster. It’s hard work and we put so much pressure on ourselves it’s untrue. If I’m honest, it sent me a little psycho. I’ve had a crap year too, lost my baby boy at 20 weeks pregnant and then mc again at 11 weeks in August. All I can say to you is, it will happen. Stress is not good, easier said than done I know, but it is not helpful. Try to relax a little about it. Maybe postpone the ‘ttc’ Till January and you never know, when you’re not trying it might happen. 

    Pour your heart out on here with others like me who feel the same. Keep positive and have faith. 

    Big hugs and Ihope you get your baby

  • Bless you 

    Thank you so much for your kind words. I never thought this chat would really help but actually waking to that message was lovely. 

    I am so so sorry for your mc I can only imagine how heartbreaking it is 💔 Are you trying to conceive now?

    You seem so positive which is amazing. I guess that’s the only cure right? 

    Im focused on moving house which I was this month that got my hopes up that because I never really thought I was thinking about it it would happen. Again I’m moving house at the end of November so I’m going To try and go with no kicking myself down and obsessing over it. 

    I really appreciate you Replying at my cry for help. 

    I hope Things work out the best for you too please keep me updated 

    Tina x

  • Tina we tried for 2 years with no such luck and told partner coubtcreally low and because I was 39 we shud look at ivf. ended up booking in to an open day at ivf clinic and the week before we went I Did a pregnancy and it was positive and naturally. Sadly had to say goodbye to our daughter at 14 weeks on june as she was a very poorly baby and had T21 as well so totally heart breaking . We are now ttc  again and on the 3rd month of ttc and I am hoping it doesn't take 2 years again as I turned 40 2 weeks ago and I don't have time on my hand. But my point is we had all odds against us but we fell pregnant  exactly  2 years after starting to try. Have faith xxx

  • Hi Tina, 

    moving house is a great way to keep you busy!!! Haha!! 

    Like susiegirlygirl said, there’s a lot of people on here that are having a baby against the odds. It will happen!

    I'm not always so positive. I definitely have some down days but you’re right, there’s no other way but to carry on and keep trying.

    yes we’re TTC now but only just really started again but fingers crossed we’ll get our bfps soon. 

    Baby dust to

  • This may not be any help at all, but I hope it gives you some sort of hope.

    Me and my partner were trying to conceive for a while, but eventually gave up due to the stress of getting a period every month, when we were hoping and expecting that I wouldn't. I know what you mean when you say you start thinking all these symptoms are a sign of pregnancy, as I was always the same! I was late on my period one day (which was so weird for me, as I was never late), and of course, I kept taking tests. They all came back negative. Then I was two weeks late, and came back on again. I was obviously heartbroken.

    As me and my partner gave up, we just decided that we weren't trying anymore, atleast not for a while, and that we're just going to have sex for fun. Next thing we know, I was 2 weeks late on my period. Many negative results. As I reached 3 weeks late, I got many positive tests back. We were so delighted.

    I am now 37 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. I hope this gives you hope, that maybe it will happen when you don't expect it. I wish you all the best.😘 X

  • Thanks Elle and congratulations on your little baby girl. Bet you can’t wait to meet

  • Thank you, lovely. I'm over the moon. Excited and nervous all in one. Good luck to you.😘 Xxx

  • Thank You so much for your kind words are helpful advice. 

    may I ask even though it was fun sex do you think in the back of your mind throughout it you still thought about concieving A child. Sorry alittle personal. even though going on a break may help I do think il still have it in my mind has it’s impossible for me to let go 

    I am overjoyed that your precious money has come! Congratulations to you both! I mean this brings me so much hope after all you’ve gone through you deserve to be a mum! 


  • Hello, Tina. To begin with, I did have that thought in the back of my head. But I tried to just forget about it and have fun with my partner. It was nice, as we didn't feel as much pressure or stress, but we just had the enjoyment of each others company. Not sure if that makes sense, but I hope it helps. Xx

  • it really does help thank you for you help and advice. 

    Most nice to know that it’s not just me and my obsessive baby mind.

    I will definitely try and enjoy sex more rather than taking doctors advice of every other day. In all honesty who wants it every other day it’s exhausting and takes the fun out of it for sure. 

    Thank you Elle 

    wish you your partner and baby girl all the best x

  • You're more than welcome, hun. I wish you all the best.😘 An thank you. 😊 Xx

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