@Louise 111 yeah I bet that’s the case- the whole thing is just heartbreaking. You are stronger than you know- we all are!!! It’s such a traumatizing thing to go through. Please be extra kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. The rainbow will follow the storm in whatever way you wish.xxxx
I have only passed chemicals naturally my 2 1st trimester losses wouldn’t pass, both times baby’s heart didn’t start, but I carried until around 12 weeks when they performed a D&C - both times the sacs kept growing but not the babies. The first time I bled for 2 weeks heavy and lost some pretty huge clots that I thought was the sac, but they scanned and said it was still there 😬
I’m glad it was relatively quick for you with the passing and bleeding, nothing worse than it going on for weeks, when you are contracting and in a lot of pain.
You ladies are all totally amazing! Your strength and resilience is inspirational - I wish we were all women who had never experienced loss, and didn’t understand the devastation of the death of a much loved and wanted baby xx
I had a kit day in work yesterday as I go back to work in 3 and a half weeks! 😬😬😬😬 nervous about leaving Matilda but we’ve got to pay the bills! I have to keep telling myself that I get to spend all the holidays with her and it’ll soon be Easter! Just one of those things I suppose! xxxx
I tried childminding but it just wasn’t what I thought!
I used to be a Nanny & I absolutely adored the kids & loved my job! I took Harry & then Lucy with me and took a slightly lower hourly rate. Absolutely loved the family’s I worked for and they loved my kiddies but when I had max it just didn’t work due to all the scl runs!! Mine were in normal schools my charges were in private Schools! childminding other kiddies came in and broke all my kidddies toys which upset them ! Also had furniture broken paint scratched off etc Hubby agreed it didn’t work Now I’m stuck as I’m qualified in childcare with nothing that fits in around my brood I love cleaning so when Charlottes at school I’m going to do something along those line . I do 1 day a week for the in-laws currently but Charlotte just plays with her nanny so don’t have to leave her 🙂
Yeah it’s a hard balance isn’t it @missmyangels. I wish I could’ve had a year off but we just can’t cope without my wage- never mind- I’m just going to leave school at 3.30 3 days a week and do some work from home so I get to see Matilda and my other 2 more.xxx
I imagine she’ll settle in so quickly emj but you will no doubt be worrying and stressing while she’s having a great time. It’s always the same isn’t it? My little one will be 3 in June so starts nursery in September and I’m dreading it as with him being autistic I can’t explain to him that I will be coming back. However I will probably be at home crying my eyes out and he will probably be having a fantastic time!
@EmJ3 she is such a cutie, she always wears the most adorable outfits 🥰😍
Am’s started nursery a year ago! I can’t believe how quickly the time has gone! I am coping ok with going to work now, but it took a good 6-7 months tbh, I really didn’t want to go and missed her terribly!!
Luckily she only has to go in 1 or 2 days a week, and Daddy has her the other days around his shifts. I am back full time, I do 4 long days. But I have flexible hours, so if Am’s is at nursery I tend to start a bit late and finish a bit early then catch up either in the evenings or sometimes I wake up at 5am and will put in 3 hours extra of paperwork.....
I make it work for me. I have to! We couldn’t survive on 1 salary, plus we like our travel too much.....
@Louise 111 how did you know your little one was ASD?
My big one was obv adhd and the ASD diagnosis came later. I do wonder about Am’s, they are certain things like lac of speech - although she does say a few words, terrible sleep - she is still up some nights until 11pm and other nights she is awake from 2-5am 😭 she doesn’t talk at all around others, likes things certain ways, sensory issues - particularly clothes but also hair, tooth brushing. The list goes on, but it’s hard to know if it is more than slightly delayed development...... I think because I know she is at a higher risk, I am a bit more alert to the signals. A friends daughter who is a very intelligent hf ASD notes when she was first walking, she always followed the same route. Once pointed out, I notice it a lot, but again, does it mean anything g 🤷♀️
Hi Mrs fish. My older boys are autistic too so I recognised the symptoms from them. It was mainly the late developmental milestones and lack of speech. Also repetitive behaviours especially banging doors over and over again. He likes his familiar routes. He will find a little ‘course’ when we go out somewhere and keep walking round the same course. His sleep is dreadful. We have to take him out in the car every night to get him to sleep then he will continuously wake during the night every 20 minutes or so. My other autistic boys didn’t have problems with their sleep though. Has Amelie been seen by any professionals ? ASD does of course present a little differently in girls and isn’t always as obvious.
Ladies you have it tough with sleep. I work with children with asd and adhd at school and I always think that the parents must have it hard. Sleep deprivation is awful.xxx
I think you just get used to the lack of sleep although the dark circles under my eyes are terrible. Charlie’s sleep now is far worse than when he was a newborn. I’ve been really tired today though but hopefully hubby is letting me have a lie in tomorrow. How do you manage with the lack of sleep Mrs fish? Emj your job sounds interesting xx
I’m an English teacher, well actually I’m the head of English across a trust of schools but my base school is a centre for children with asd too. We have a fab inclusion team etc. It’s a lovely high school. I’ve been there for 14 years!xx
I wish we lived near you emj if your school is good as we’ve just been given our secondary placement for my son who’s in year 6 who is autistic and we are extremely unhappy with it so are just starting the long appeal process. It sounds like you have a very full on job. You must get tired.
@Louise 111 it’s awful when you’re unhappy with a school. Definitely appeal and see what happens- some changes are made. I’d say about 3-5 students get in our school off appeals each year.xxxx
Replies
I’m glad it was relatively quick for you with the passing and bleeding, nothing worse than it going on for weeks, when you are contracting and in a lot of pain.
xxxx
childminding other kiddies came in and broke all my kidddies toys which upset them ! Also had furniture broken paint scratched off etc Hubby agreed it didn’t work
Now I’m stuck as I’m qualified in childcare with nothing that fits in around my brood
I love cleaning so when Charlottes at school I’m going to do something along those line . I do 1 day a week for the in-laws currently but Charlotte just plays with her nanny so don’t have to leave her 🙂
Am’s started nursery a year ago! I can’t believe how quickly the time has gone! I am coping ok with going to work now, but it took a good 6-7 months tbh, I really didn’t want to go and missed her terribly!!
@Louise 111 how did you know your little one was ASD?
I think because I know she is at a higher risk, I am a bit more alert to the signals. A friends daughter who is a very intelligent hf ASD notes when she was first walking, she always followed the same route. Once pointed out, I notice it a lot, but again, does it mean anything g 🤷♀️