Hi lovelies, sorry I’ve been so quiet, just been trying to keep my mind off pregnancy and dark thoughts! I had a bit of a scare a few days ago - I went to the loo at 2am and saw a couple of drops of pale pink spotting when I wiped. It was so unexpected, it really did take me by surprise because I’ve had no sign of any bleeding this pregnancy at all, not even on egg collection or transfer days. I’ve worked so darn hard to keep positive, not allowing myself to fear the worst without any evidence...
...So seeing blood, of course my mind could not help going straight to ‘miscarriage, that this is the beginning of the end...no no no no no’. I felt devastated. I even texted my friend and told her it was over. This must’ve been what the bad cramping and back ache was about a few days ago - the foetus dying and detaching...
OH hauled me back on track. Told me IF it is another loss, that we grieve and heal, and we try again. I realised there was nothing I could do to stop the miscarriage, and accepted I just had to wait it out, get through it, and over it. I was absolutely miserable, but I got up later that morning, and I got on with my day as normal. There was no more bleeding all day, or the following night.
Hmmm... with previous losses, usually the bleeding stops and starts over a week or so, before turning into a heavy red bleed with clots, and an unmistakable miscarriage. I got up the following morning, still no sign of new bleeding. I knew I wasn’t in the clear yet though, and just like that, at lunch, I discovered a pale brown bleed on my panty liner. It was light, but again my mood plummeted to ‘It’s definitely over, the brown will surely turn to red’. And so I waited... and waited and waited...
It’s been 3 days now with no sign of anymore bleeding. I can’t quite believe it, and I hesitate to say much more in case I jinx myself. I couldn’t even speak about it fully to my OH, as in the past, as soon as I dared to think the bleeding has eased, it comes back full force! So yeah... no news is good news at this point! I’ll tell you if the bleeding reappears and worsens, but if I say nothing, know all is ok!
Anyway, sorry for the loooong story!!! I think I needed to get it out of me after repressing it for a few scary days! Now I have to pep talk myself back into my positive head space! I REFUSE to go through this pregnancy in constant fear of something that may never happen. I’ll grieve IF it happens, but not before! Right now, I’m pregnant and staying pregnant, and I’m getting to my scan on the 26th and seeing that heartbeat! X
@Remedios I’m so sorry to hear your mum’s scan was not good news. But it is still very early days. The human body is capable of amazing things. Let’s hope that with rehabilitation and your extra care, her diagnosis will improve with time. Fantastic news that you found a place for her at a rehabilitation clinic, but very bizarre that it is common practice to have to gift the medical staff to ensure decent care!? It really doesn’t sound very ethical (of the staff!!), but if that’s the system, that’s the system, and you grease those wheels!!! TK Maxx can be very good for classy, high end products at heavily discounted prices! .
I’m also so sorry to hear about the trauma before your scan, @Remedios . I’ve never heard them specify ‘no sex whatsoever’, only that you must use protection or, if not, abstain. Aside from which, that is why they have a disclaimer, and get you to sign it! It is meant to be your responsibility to ensure you’re not pregnant for the test. But I’m so relieved the nurse saw common sense and let the test go ahead with your assurances. I’m glad it wasn’t too uncomfortable for you, and your tubes are confirmed all clear, and the cramping has eased! Great news! Now get down to the business of making your baby!!!X
Hi @sas1101, doesn’t pregnancy do crazy things to our eating habits!!! I’m still not suffering any morning sickness as yet (although I did throw up after a dinner of fish and chips a few days ago - but I really think I just ate too much out of habit and not fully listening to my body (chip shop portions are huge these days!) and my stomach just couldn’t handle it anymore. Some days, I find my appetite totally disappears, and I can only force about a third of what I’d normally eat down! Then, suddenly at 3am I’ll be getting up and making myself some toast because I’m too ravenous to sleep! But overall I’m eating much less than usual. I wonder when that will change? It feels very unnatural! With my daughter, I was eating oat cakes, toast and Weetabix constantly to keep the nausea at bay. This pregnancy is VERY different so far. I’m really just exhausted, wanting to nap morning, noon and night!
The Clearblue 3+ is a a sneaky one - the hormone numbers do a huge leap from 2-3 to 3+, so again, if you implanted a little late, it might just take a little longer to register. Plus, every woman is different, and the range of hormone levels is vast! Some women take much more than 6 weeks to get their 3+, and plenty of others never get it, worry themselves sick, and go on to have a perfectly healthy, normal pregnancy! Those weeks indicators are great fun if they work as expected, but an absolute cold sweat nightmare if they don’t suit you. I’m sure you’ll get that beautiful 3+ very soon, but don’t stress if not. They really are just a bit of an expensive gimmick! (As if we don’t already spend enough on HPTs!). X
It's so lovely to hear from you @KiwiMoomin and I completely understand taking a step back when going through the dark thoughts. I would have reacted the very same as you. It does take you a few days to get your head around things. Until being on these boards and TTC I didn't have any idea how common spotting is in early pregnancy. It sounds like your baby(ies) were getting snug in there and have caused a little bit of spotting, however I know scary this must have been for you. No news is definitely good news. Not long until your scan, although I bet it feels like a lifetime away.
I want to say a big thank you as something you said in your message has really struck a chord with me and has really helped with my head space this morning...
"I REFUSE to go through this pregnancy in constant fear of something that may never happen. I’ll grieve IF it happens, but not before!"
This is amazing 🙌 and it's so true. I've spent the last week worried sick that something will happen that I've not actually bstood back and been really happy I'm pregnant. Even 10 minutes after taking my tests on OTD I was dropped with anxiety. So thank you, this is the new mantra I'm going to (try) to stick to. I'm PREGNANT and I will enjoy it ❤️❤️❤️
I also got my 3+ on CB digital this morning so I suppose that's helping to. I'm going to stop testing now as that's not helping with my anxiety. Thanks for listening to me the last week ladies.
It's so lovely to hear from you @KiwiMoomin and I completely understand taking a step back when going through the dark thoughts. I would have reacted the very same as you. It does take you a few days to get your head around things. Until being on these boards and TTC I didn't have any idea how common spotting is in early pregnancy. It sounds like your baby(ies) were getting snug in there and have caused a little bit of spotting, however I know scary this must have been for you. No news is definitely good news. Not long until your scan, although I bet it feels like a lifetime away.
I want to say a big thank you as something you said in your message has really struck a chord with me and has really helped with my head space this morning...
"I REFUSE to go through this pregnancy in constant fear of something that may never happen. I’ll grieve IF it happens, but not before!"
This is amazing 🙌 and it's so true. I've spent the last week worried sick that something will happen that I've not actually bstood back and been really happy I'm pregnant. Even 10 minutes after taking my tests on OTD I was dropped with anxiety. So thank you, this is the new mantra I'm going to (try) to stick to. I'm PREGNANT and I will enjoy it ❤️❤️❤️
I also got my 3+ on CB digital this morning so I suppose that's helping to. I'm going to stop testing now as that's not helping with my anxiety. Thanks for listening to me the last week ladies.
Wowsers!!!! That is one heck of a dye stealer!!!! And I’m so pleased the 3+ came through for you, and in good time too!
I personally don’t like to talk too much about the twin possibility at this stage, as until that 1st scan, it’s just so unknown. And if you’re anything like me, you just don’t want to risk getting too attached, too soon... But, all that said, it’s really starting to look like you’ve got two snuggled in there and growing up a storm!!!🤞🤞
Aww...I’m glad my little mantra has helped you too! The anxiety can be unreal after so much loss and failure. But it really is pointless fearing what may never happen. Easier said than done though!!! I’m constantly working on it. Getting a positive result at my scan on Thurs will be a huge step in the right direction though!
After a good google, apparently spotting/bleeding around 6/8 weeks is really common - as you mentioned, it could’ve just been implantation bleeding as the embryo burrows in deeper. It’s also the time when the placenta starts taking over from the yolk sack, so things are really growing and transforming in there! (That might’ve been what my bad cramps and backache were about!) But yeah, I’ve had enough of a scare! Fingers crossed things have settled down now!🤞🤞X
Thank you @KiwiMoomin your words are always so comforting. I have been the same as you and have not been thinking multiples just waiting to get to the scan and see what happens, although my oh keeps on mentioning it 🙈
Not long for you scan, what a milestone! Is your hubby allowed in with you? Mine is a NHS clinic so mine isn't allowed in 😭 it's very upsetting but he'll be waiting in the car park for me. If everything is ok with the scan then we have decided to book a private scan around 9 weeks as he'll be able to attend that one. Xx
I lost it on Sunday! Shouting at my poor husband, then crying... I was a mess. It is getting a bit much, with the travel, worry about my mum etc. Not good enough excuse to shout at my gorgeous, loving, innocent husband of course. I slept it off, tried to meditate, back to normal. It is amazing how fragile I am. Small things can tip me off the edge. I think, we all know the feeling.
My temp has not gone up yet, so ovulation day might be today after all (not yesterday). We BD-d on Friday then on Sunday, Monday and today. Should we do it tomorrow as well? I keep saying to my (slightly getting exhausted) husband that we need to make up for the time when we are apart. This has worked for 3 days in a row, I am not sure it will on the 4th.
I am sorry to hear about the bleeding @KiwiMoomin! You must have freaked out! Well done for handling it! Only 2 more days until your scan! How do you feel about it? Thank you for the advice on shopping! Great idea! Although the staff might just be happy with "enveloped" gift. I know it is terrible how the healthcare system works there, but I can't change it; need to play the game.
@sas1101 Yeah! Summer baby/babies. I understand why you don't want to think about the twin option. You need to wait and see what the scan says. What a shame that your husband will not be allowed in with you at the scan. This virus... grrr... My former colleague had her scan last month on her own, but the result came back as high on Down Syndrome. They did a private scan, so the husband was there with her and it is all fine! What a relief! Are there centres around you where they do private scans? It would be nice to do that with your husband!
How was your Netflix session? I hope you have managed to rest and keep calm! Any more symptoms; sickness, food aversions? What are the plans for this week? xx
@Remedios oh you poor thing, its no wonder that you've reacted that way. You are dealing with the stress of getting your mums care sorted in another country on top of dealing with the emotions of her being poorly. I'm sure your hubby completely understood and you know what they say that we take it out on the people that we love the most. Do not beat yourself up one bit about that as I said your hubby will complelyi understand. Big big hugs sweetie. I'm glad the meditation has helped, there is a wonderful free app called Insight Timer, there are so many free medication videos on there. It's been a god send for me as of late. We are all here if you need to talk anytime. Remember to put your feet up and have some R and R before your go to Hungary 😘😘😘
Your poor colleague having that scan by herself, Im so happy to hear that they got the all clear afterwards. I just think it awful that woman have to go into a scan by themselves with the potential of being told the worse news when you can go into a pub/shop with a mask on and socialise with other household members outside. Pregnant women have had such a tough time with Covid especially 😭
Bless you for asking about me, I'm good. Still a little up and down bit trying to live by @KiwiMoomin mantra. I've been very tired, work isn't helping as it's so busy at the moment. I'm having to sleep for an few hours when I get in. The nausea comes and goes but it related to hunger and more in the evening.
My beautiful yesterday at 34+4 weeks..unfortunately baby has dropped twice at growth scans now got to have another next week to keep an eye on placenta blood flow etc then another growth scan week after if baby is still dropping on the chart I think they want to bring delivery forward I'm so scared baby will be too small baby is only estimated at 4lbs 6oz atm ❤
Bless you @Katie2202xx i can only imagine the worry you're going through. Even if you have to have your baby early theres still some time for a little growth. Fingers crossed for a little growth spurt in the few weeks 🤞🏻 Thinking if you lovely and here if you need to chat. Big hugs. Xxx
@sas1101 its seemed like constant hurdles in this pregnancy that's why I've not been active as much as I'm constantly at hospital for different scan and appointments 🙈 I also got a scary picture of the baby looking straight at me 🙈🙈
@sas1101 its seemed like constant hurdles in this pregnancy that's why I've not been active as much as I'm constantly at hospital for different scan and appointments 🙈 I also got a scary picture of the baby looking straight at me 🙈🙈
What an amazing ultrasound pic! I’ve never seen anything like it before, but I understand what you mean about it looking a bit creepy! I hope baby manages a growth spurt. But these scans always make me nervous, as they do seem very inaccurate a lot of the time! I was told to expect my daughter to be over 10 (scary!) pounds. When born, she was only 8 pounds, and much of that was ‘water weight’ as she was really not a large baby at all, and struggled to fill out her newborn sized baby grows!🤪
@sas1101 thank you for the good wishes for my scan. I can’t sleep I feel too anxious! Will try and hit the hay soon though. How are you holding up? I stopped testing after I got my 3+ too. I sometimes think about picking up a cheap test just to see my lines are still dark, but I’ve heard they can actually start getting fainter as the high hormone levels actually start overwhelming the tests...🤷🏼♀️ so I don’t want to risk giving myself an unnecessary scare!
@Remedios, after all you’ve been through the past few weeks, you definitely deserve to lose it and let off some steam!!! That is what our loved ones are there for! Your OH understands.
I’m pretty nervous about my scan... but it is out of my hands. As is the twin possibility! I’m just focusing on seeing that little heartbeat! And if there’s two little heartbeats... oh my gosh!
But my expectations are heavily contained - my symptoms are so mild, I only felt one bout of implantation pains, and my HPTs were strong, but not over the top dye stealers like you’d expect of a double pregnancy. Plus, I googled the chance of a successful twin IVF pregnancy at my age, and it was a pathetic 0.5%!!! More worrying, a singleton is only 3%!🙈
I really better try and get some sleep now!!! Thank you for all your thoughts and well wishes! It really means a lot! 💖X
Bless you @Katie2202xx you've been such a trooper throughout your pregnancy and wow what a crazy scan picture. Like Kiwi said I've never seen anything like it! So unique. Baby just wanted to turn around and say hello!
@KiwiMoomin I understand all your anxiety around the scan. I'm feeling exactly the same as you, if I hear one heartbeat then I'll be so pleased. I hope you managed to get some sleep and dont have to wait long for your scan. Mine is 3:30 in the afternoon which is a bummer. I'll be looking out for your update. Good luck lovely lady ❤️❤️❤️ xx
Hello, I just wanted to say a quick hello as I saw your name @sas1101 and recognised it. You were the first person who I spoke to on here about 2 years ago! I am so pleased to see your tests!!!! So exciting!!! Really happy for you
@SmithL35 bless your little fighter. I have worked with children and babies who have had heart surgery and I'm always amazed at their resilience. Their strength always amazes me. I'm sure it'll be the same for your little one. You are also doing amazingly lovely. Here if you need to chat. Xx
Replies
...So seeing blood, of course my mind could not help going straight to ‘miscarriage, that this is the beginning of the end...no no no no no’. I felt devastated. I even texted my friend and told her it was over. This must’ve been what the bad cramping and back ache was about a few days ago - the foetus dying and detaching...
It’s been 3 days now with no sign of anymore bleeding. I can’t quite believe it, and I hesitate to say much more in case I jinx myself. I couldn’t even speak about it fully to my OH, as in the past, as soon as I dared to think the bleeding has eased, it comes back full force! So yeah... no news is good news at this point! I’ll tell you if the bleeding reappears and worsens, but if I say nothing, know all is ok!
The Clearblue 3+ is a a sneaky one - the hormone numbers do a huge leap from 2-3 to 3+, so again, if you implanted a little late, it might just take a little longer to register. Plus, every woman is different, and the range of hormone levels is vast! Some women take much more than 6 weeks to get their 3+, and plenty of others never get it, worry themselves sick, and go on to have a perfectly healthy, normal pregnancy! Those weeks indicators are great fun if they work as expected, but an absolute cold sweat nightmare if they don’t suit you. I’m sure you’ll get that beautiful 3+ very soon, but don’t stress if not. They really are just a bit of an expensive gimmick! (As if we don’t already spend enough on HPTs!). X
I want to say a big thank you as something you said in your message has really struck a chord with me and has really helped with my head space this morning...
"I REFUSE to go through this pregnancy in constant fear of something that may never happen. I’ll grieve IF it happens, but not before!"
This is amazing 🙌 and it's so true. I've spent the last week worried sick that something will happen that I've not actually bstood back and been really happy I'm pregnant. Even 10 minutes after taking my tests on OTD I was dropped with anxiety. So thank you, this is the new mantra I'm going to (try) to stick to. I'm PREGNANT and I will enjoy it ❤️❤️❤️
I also got my 3+ on CB digital this morning so I suppose that's helping to. I'm going to stop testing now as that's not helping with my anxiety. Thanks for listening to me the last week ladies.
Aww...I’m glad my little mantra has helped you too! The anxiety can be unreal after so much loss and failure. But it really is pointless fearing what may never happen. Easier said than done though!!! I’m constantly working on it. Getting a positive result at my scan on Thurs will be a huge step in the right direction though!
After a good google, apparently spotting/bleeding around 6/8 weeks is really common - as you mentioned, it could’ve just been implantation bleeding as the embryo burrows in deeper. It’s also the time when the placenta starts taking over from the yolk sack, so things are really growing and transforming in there! (That might’ve been what my bad cramps and backache were about!) But yeah, I’ve had enough of a scare! Fingers crossed things have settled down now!🤞🤞X
Not long for you scan, what a milestone! Is your hubby allowed in with you? Mine is a NHS clinic so mine isn't allowed in 😭 it's very upsetting but he'll be waiting in the car park for me. If everything is ok with the scan then we have decided to book a private scan around 9 weeks as he'll be able to attend that one. Xx
I lost it on Sunday! Shouting at my poor husband, then crying... I was a mess. It is getting a bit much, with the travel, worry about my mum etc. Not good enough excuse to shout at my gorgeous, loving, innocent husband of course.
I slept it off, tried to meditate, back to normal. It is amazing how fragile I am. Small things can tip me off the edge.
I think, we all know the feeling.
My temp has not gone up yet, so ovulation day might be today after all (not yesterday). We BD-d on Friday then on Sunday, Monday and today. Should we do it tomorrow as well?
I am sorry to hear about the bleeding @KiwiMoomin! You must have freaked out! Well done for handling it! Only 2 more days until your scan! How do you feel about it?
Thank you for the advice on shopping! Great idea! Although the staff might just be happy with "enveloped" gift. I know it is terrible how the healthcare system works there, but I can't change it; need to play the game.
@sas1101 Yeah! Summer baby/babies. I understand why you don't want to think about the twin option. You need to wait and see what the scan says.
What a shame that your husband will not be allowed in with you at the scan. This virus... grrr... My former colleague had her scan last month on her own, but the result came back as high on Down Syndrome. They did a private scan, so the husband was there with her and it is all fine! What a relief! Are there centres around you where they do private scans? It would be nice to do that with your husband!
How was your Netflix session? I hope you have managed to rest and keep calm!
Any more symptoms; sickness, food aversions?
What are the plans for this week?
xx
Your poor colleague having that scan by herself, Im so happy to hear that they got the all clear afterwards. I just think it awful that woman have to go into a scan by themselves with the potential of being told the worse news when you can go into a pub/shop with a mask on and socialise with other household members outside. Pregnant women have had such a tough time with Covid especially 😭
Bless you for asking about me, I'm good. Still a little up and down bit trying to live by @KiwiMoomin mantra. I've been very tired, work isn't helping as it's so busy at the moment. I'm having to sleep for an few hours when I get in. The nausea comes and goes but it related to hunger and more in the evening.
@Remedios, after all you’ve been through the past few weeks, you definitely deserve to lose it and let off some steam!!! That is what our loved ones are there for! Your OH understands.
@KiwiMoomin I understand all your anxiety around the scan. I'm feeling exactly the same as you, if I hear one heartbeat then I'll be so pleased. I hope you managed to get some sleep and dont have to wait long for your scan. Mine is 3:30 in the afternoon which is a bummer. I'll be looking out for your update. Good luck lovely lady ❤️❤️❤️ xx
Take care all xx