@Remedios Aww hun I'm sorry everything is so complicated for you right now You need to keep concentrating on your mum getting better, I know it's a very upsetting time right now but you seem like such a strong women and take everything that's thrown at you! your mum will soon be home and you'll soon be back home with your husband. I'm sorry about AF showing her ugly face! is it full on AF? I'm a mix of emotions right now as I don't know what's going on, I've got another scan tomorrow and if baby is still dropping on chart or still below the 10th percentile they want to induce me at 37 weeks which is this friday I'm not ready and i feel guilty for the baby when he/she is not ready, I'm scared baby will be in NICU and I dont want to be away from any of my children theres a chance the baby might be perfect and get to come home but there is also a chance babies not ready and need help so right now the excitement isnt there x
@Katie2202xx Not ideal... But I cannot control these things.
Oh no! I am so sorry to hear that induction is a possibility! Of course, you are worried and the excitement has been taken away and been replaced with anxious thoughts! Nothing is every easy and simple, is it?
Please, let me know about the outcome of the scan tomorrow! Try to keep things together. You are strong! xx
Hi girls just thought I'd jump on quickly. Unfortunately it wasn't good news for me. There was a sac, placenta but no baby so it looks like a blighted ovum. My body is releasing HCG so would still think it's pregnant I've got to go back for a scan next week as its procedure bit have been told there's no chance. Mean thing is I've got to carry on taking my meds. Xx
@Remedios yes I'm very worried and anxious but I suppose if it has to be done it will be for the best interest of the baby right? And awww no I'm sorry its AF dont be too hard on yourself 😘
@sas1101 omg I'm so so sorry hun 😔 our bodies can be so cruel! how far would you of been is it 100% that then.. oh hun please be kind to yourself and take your time and rest! ❤❤
@Katie2202xx Of course you are! Yes, probably they want the best for the baby and I am sure they know what they are doing! You just need to trust them and try to stay calm!
It is OK! Not great, but at least my Mum's Covid test was NEGATIVE this morning! What a relief. She is back to Neurology and we can go from there! xx
@Remedios I will see what they say tomorrow and go from there 😊 I hope your okay, take it easy I know how hard it is when AF comes but it will happen one day 😘 Great news your mums test is negative! can you go visit her now? xx
@Katie2202xx Best of luck for tomorrow! Please, let me know!
Honestly, I am fine, thank you! I am not so sure anymore, but I need to focus on my Mum now... It is such a relief! I have spoken to the doctor today about visiting her. I might need a fresh Covid test (I had one the 27th and one on the 30th). I am happy to do that and quarantine myself until the result is back. I would do anything, I just want to see her!!! xx
Thanks @Katie2202xx and @Remedios I'm just in total disbelief that my body could be so cruel. My HCG is still high so I very much feel pregnant. Really struggled to take my meds tonight and wanted to throw them all in the bin but my oh convinced me to take them and wait until next week. There's no hope but I'll do it as that's what I've been told. Thanks for your support. I just need some time to wrap my head around it. Such a weird thing to happen. Love you all ❤️
@Katie2202xx bless you, I hope that this doesn't stress you out too much. I can't imagine the worry you are going through. Your baby will be in good hands even if they make an early arrival. Some babies manage to avoid NICU/SCBU all together or just have a short stay. You've done so well throughout this pregnacy. You're such a superstar. Xx
@sas1101 I really cant believe your going through this life is soooo cruel! you poor thing try not been too hard on yourself and do what you need to do!! and take time to rest and grieve! Thankyou for your support I feel bad sometimes even mentioning my pregnancy it has been constant hurdles this time though xx
Oh @sas1101... I’m in pieces. I’m struggling to find the words, I’m just so desperately sad, and plain angry at how cruel life can be to the kindest, sweetest souls. I just want to give you a huge hug and have a huge cry together. This just isn’t fair. Be extra gentle on yourself, and be sure to put yourself first for once. Everything and everyone else can wait. So much love to you during this tragic time. We’re always here for you if/when you need us. XX
@KiwiMoomin thank you. Didn't sleep very well at all last night. I did a test strip last night as I wanted to see if my levels were falling. There's hardly control line so who knows when this will all be over. I'm leaning towards some sort of medical management and will push for this next week after my final scan. Me and oh discussed last night that we need a break for now and will decide the next plan of action in the new year. Tbh I need to let my head get into a good place before I even think of TTC again. My heart is broken 💔
I hope everything is going ok with beans. When is your next scan? Are you still feeling very much symptom free?
@Katie2202xx thank you lovely. Please keep us updated with the scan and don't be silly about posting about your journey. Everyone is on their own journey and I would never want you to feel like you can't share it. You've had your fair share of heartache lovely.
@Remedios I'm so sorry that in the haze of yesterday I forgot to reply to your posts. I'm so sorry that you won't be able to TTC this month 😔 you arw such a wonderful human and you will you get your baby. Right now you need to be there for your mum. I think you are doing so well, such a tower of strength, you should be very proud. Also so happy to hear your mum's test was negative. I hope it won't be too long before you can be reunited with her. Xx
@sas1101 I am crying for you this morning, darling girl! I honestly thought and hoped that it was only a nightmare what I read yesterday...
You are such a wonderful and precious human being. You still manage to support all of us and you still have kind words left in you, even after such a tragic event!
How how cruel and mean life can be! Just cry, scream, break plates if that is what helps to let your frustration out, but make sure that you are not mean to yourself! You need all the TLC in the world. I am sure that your husband gives you the best support. You are not alone, we are here too. Unfortunately we cannot change what happened, I wish we could!
Thank you for your message! Negative Covid test is a huge relief, but this is just the first battle we have won. This war will be a long one, but I am going to do my utmost to help my gorgeous mummy to recover from this.
Baby has put on over a pound! has gone back up the chart from the 10th to the 25th and they are happy for me to carry on to my due date and go in labour naturally!! I had a feeling the baby had gained weight! estimated 5lbs 8oz at 36+4 xx
@Katie2202xx Yay for little Baba! This happened to my friend and she went to term. So exciy lovely. Put your feet up and relax for the rest of your pregnancy. Xx
@Remedios thank you dear ❤️ slowly coming to terms with it. Look like my levels are falling going by my tests this morning which in a weird way is good as hopefully it means I won't need a d and c and can pass it naturally.
You are doing so good for your gorgeous mummy. I really can't wait for you to be reunited. Xx
So girls I'm taking a break from the TTC front for a few months but I am still going to come on here and check in so you're not getting rid of me that easy 😊
@KiwiMoomin please keep me updated with your pregnancy. I really want to hear your updates and don't think that you can't come on here and discuss your pregnancy. You are a positive story amongst the storm of infertility ❤️ plus you are a gorgeous human with lots of word of encouragement and wisdom. Xx
I'm going to work on egg quality over the next few months as everything with my last three transfers points to egg quality. Plus I have low AMH. I have read that most blighted ovums in IVF are the result of aneuploid embryos and 95% of the time it's egg quality. So lots of focus on egg quality rather than quantity. It just takes the one eh 😉 oh acty really wants to us to try again next year which was something I wasn't expecting. He wants to do genetic testing and is really keen on us both getting to our most fit and healthy for it. He's such a sweetheart 🥰 xx
@sas1101, you really are a genuine, earthbound angel! What lovely things to say... and to even be thinking of anyone else and their feelings at this time, just shows what a huge and generous heart you have! So thank you, dear friend (and I do already consider you to be that). I am still reeling from your sad news... but, one thing I know for sure, is that IVF, infertility (and all the losses) makes us TOUGH. To put ourselves through what we do, month after month, year after year, through the perpetual grief and devastating disappointments... and yet we still find and hold onto precious hope. That’s reassuring news that your OH is keen to keep trying. It feels callous to say, but infertility and IVF is such a numbers game. Some couples get ‘lucky‘ first round, but for so many, success takes far, far longer. And it seems you can’t even count on the science of embryo grading, as even the most perfect blastocysts still fail. It really messes with your mind!
For me, poor egg quality was definitely a key player in my losses. After my last loss, I had to take a big step back from TTC. In time, I turned my focus to my health and fitness too. Then, when I was ready to get back in the TTC saddle, I discovered two very different books, and took the best of both approaches! The books were ‘Inconceivable’ by Julia Indichova (very inspiring story of a woman battling against terribly low egg reserves and poor egg quality, and winning! I couldn’t be as hardcore as she was with the yoga and juicing etc, but it just shows how the doctors don’t have all the answers, and there are still many other avenues to explore, even when it all seems hopeless) and the more science-based book ‘It Starts with the Egg’ by Rebecca Fett. I even sourced some of the same supplements used in the egg quality studies referenced in this book. This more clinical approach helped me to distance myself from the volatile emotions tied up with IVF. I also told myself that if this doesn’t work out, we still have many other steps to take to bring us to that precious baby. Everything was on the table and open for discussion. My OH and I were going to get what our heart’s desired, and I only want that for you all too!!
Take super good care of yourself, rest as much as you can, grieve how and as much as you want. No one else can tell you what is right for you. I will absolutely keep in touch and carry on sharing our separate journeys together. But I do understand if/when it gets too much and you have to step back. I know so much of what you’re going through, how complex the emotions are. I’m very conscious my happy news can cause you pain...which is the last thing I want to do to you! But I also don’t want you to feel like I’m avoiding the subject with you either, because I know how badly that hurts too. So, if I leave it to you to ask me about the pregnancy, please don’t think I’m not wanting to talk to you about it, I’m just wishing to respect your boundaries. And I understand that grief and tolerance levels vary day by day, hour by hour, so what’s ok to chat about one day, might not be the next.
Let’s hope leaving 2020 behind us in the dust brings joy to us all in the future, so we can stop tag-teaming grief and all get the happiness we deserve! X
Baby has put on over a pound! has gone back up the chart from the 10th to the 25th and they are happy for me to carry on to my due date and go in labour naturally!! I had a feeling the baby had gained weight! estimated 5lbs 8oz at 36+4 xx
That’s wonderful news @Katie2202xx! And well done baby!!! I’m so glad they get to cook for a bit longer and come out on their terms! Fingers crossed you and bubba will be our first bit of joyous news to kick off 2021!! X
Replies
You need to keep concentrating on your mum getting better, I know it's a very upsetting time right now but you seem like such a strong women and take everything that's thrown at you! your mum will soon be home and you'll soon be back home with your husband.
I'm sorry about AF showing her ugly face! is it full on AF?
I'm a mix of emotions right now as I don't know what's going on, I've got another scan tomorrow and if baby is still dropping on chart or still below the 10th percentile they want to induce me at 37 weeks which is this friday
Oh no! I am so sorry to hear that induction is a possibility!
Nothing is every easy and simple, is it?
Please, let me know about the outcome of the scan tomorrow!
Try to keep things together. You are strong! xx
And awww no I'm sorry its AF
@sas1101 omg I'm so so sorry hun 😔 our bodies can be so cruel! how far would you of been is it 100% that then.. oh hun please be kind to yourself and take your time and rest! ❤❤
I don't know what to say!!! How can this happen? This is so cruel!!!
I just cannot believe it! I don't want to say or ask anything stupid... such as how do you feel?
What do you need? How can we help? xx
It is OK! Not great, but at least my Mum's Covid test was NEGATIVE this morning! What a relief. She is back to Neurology and we can go from there! xx
I hope your okay, take it easy I know how hard it is when AF comes but it will happen one day 😘
Great news your mums test is negative! can you go visit her now? xx
Honestly, I am fine, thank you! I am not so sure anymore, but I need to focus on my Mum now...
It is such a relief! I have spoken to the doctor today about visiting her. I might need a fresh Covid test (I had one the 27th and one on the 30th). I am happy to do that and quarantine myself until the result is back. I would do anything, I just want to see her!!! xx
Thanks for your support. I just need some time to wrap my head around it. Such a weird thing to happen. Love you all ❤️
@Katie2202xx bless you, I hope that this doesn't stress you out too much. I can't imagine the worry you are going through. Your baby will be in good hands even if they make an early arrival. Some babies manage to avoid NICU/SCBU all together or just have a short stay. You've done so well throughout this pregnacy. You're such a superstar. Xx
Thankyou for your support I feel bad sometimes even mentioning my pregnancy
I hope everything is going ok with beans. When is your next scan? Are you still feeling very much symptom free?
@Katie2202xx thank you lovely. Please keep us updated with the scan and don't be silly about posting about your journey. Everyone is on their own journey and I would never want you to feel like you can't share it. You've had your fair share of heartache lovely.
@Remedios I'm so sorry that in the haze of yesterday I forgot to reply to your posts. I'm so sorry that you won't be able to TTC this month 😔 you arw such a wonderful human and you will you get your baby. Right now you need to be there for your mum. I think you are doing so well, such a tower of strength, you should be very proud. Also so happy to hear your mum's test was negative. I hope it won't be too long before you can be reunited with her. Xx
You are such a wonderful and precious human being. You still manage to support all of us and you still have kind words left in you, even after such a tragic event!
How how cruel and mean life can be! Just cry, scream, break plates if that is what helps to let your frustration out, but make sure that you are not mean to yourself! You need all the TLC in the world. I am sure that your husband gives you the best support. You are not alone, we are here too. Unfortunately we cannot change what happened, I wish we could!
Thank you for your message! Negative Covid test is a huge relief, but this is just the first battle we have won. This war will be a long one, but I am going to do my utmost to help my gorgeous mummy to recover from this.
Lots and lots of love and hug to you!!! xxxx
You are doing so good for your gorgeous mummy. I really can't wait for you to be reunited. Xx
@KiwiMoomin please keep me updated with your pregnancy. I really want to hear your updates and don't think that you can't come on here and discuss your pregnancy. You are a positive story amongst the storm of infertility ❤️ plus you are a gorgeous human with lots of word of encouragement and wisdom. Xx
I'm going to work on egg quality over the next few months as everything with my last three transfers points to egg quality. Plus I have low AMH. I have read that most blighted ovums in IVF are the result of aneuploid embryos and 95% of the time it's egg quality. So lots of focus on egg quality rather than quantity. It just takes the one eh 😉 oh acty really wants to us to try again next year which was something I wasn't expecting. He wants to do genetic testing and is really keen on us both getting to our most fit and healthy for it. He's such a sweetheart 🥰 xx
Take super good care of yourself, rest as much as you can, grieve how and as much as you want. No one else can tell you what is right for you. I will absolutely keep in touch and carry on sharing our separate journeys together. But I do understand if/when it gets too much and you have to step back. I know so much of what you’re going through, how complex the emotions are. I’m very conscious my happy news can cause you pain...which is the last thing I want to do to you! But I also don’t want you to feel like I’m avoiding the subject with you either, because I know how badly that hurts too. So, if I leave it to you to ask me about the pregnancy, please don’t think I’m not wanting to talk to you about it, I’m just wishing to respect your boundaries. And I understand that grief and tolerance levels vary day by day, hour by hour, so what’s ok to chat about one day, might not be the next.