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Please don’t judge

LizzwizLizzwiz Regular
in Trying to conceive
Hi, I had my baby right on my due date which it was January 13, 2021. I had sex with guy A on February 22-23rd and was on my last days of my period. ( I know some of you are going to judge) it was a one night stand with a guy I was talking to. Then on February 24 I went out and saw my ex and things happened. After that we didn’t stop taking and having sex. Idk why I went back if he had cheated. But I really was at my lowest at that time. On May 8th I found out I was pregnant but couldn’t believe if I was because the pregnancy test line was super faint. Then on the 16 I got a digital and it was a big pregnant positive. The first time I went to the doc was June 18 and they told me I was 10 weeks and due date was January 13. Idk if I should do a paternity test but I feel guilty. And I can’t stop thinking about it and feeling anxious. Could it be guy A the father. Baby looks nothing like dad but he looks like me. Plus he’s light and dad isn’t but I have light skin family. My mom is white skin. Please try to understand me

Replies

  • Milly_JustMarriedMilly_JustMarried Regular
    No judgement here at all. Sorry to hear you are feeling so anxious. This is a life changing moment for the father and a paternity test is definitely required. Wishing you all the best of luck for future and hope you keep up the courage to find out who is the father. 
  • KelB79KelB79 Regular
    Try to relax - it’s highly unlikely that you would be pregnant from guy A if you have sex on the last days of your period unless you have really really short cycles (do you know your cycle length??) Also.... if you work out your dates - it looks like you actually conceived in April 🤔 Did you have another period after Febuary?? 
     It’s an incredibly important issue though so I think I’d have to get a paternity test to be sure if you’re not sure from your dates xX 
  • LizzwizLizzwiz Regular
    Well I have a period of 7 days. Idk how that short period cycle work. Well since I took a plan b pill on the 25th I did bleed on March 13. I do remember having 7 day period again but I can’t remember if it was heavy. 
  • KelB79KelB79 Regular
    How many days is approximately it from the start of your period to the start of the next? Are you regular? x
  • LizzwizLizzwiz Regular
    Well I never kept track of that. I just know every month I get it around the same days as last month. I can be off by one day or two but definitely not 3. 
  • LizzwizLizzwiz Regular
    edited Apr 13, 2021 3:07PM
    All I’m sure is that I had a period on March and when I had sex with ex (like I said before I was really on my low at that time) I don’t remember wanting to have sex with him but I apparently did. I was super drunk. So I woke up with my pants down literally and there was blood all over and I remember looking at my pad and it was heavy not super but also not light. 
  • KelB79KelB79 Regular
    Honestly, I don’t think there’s much chance at all that it’s the others guys baby. Your due date is counted from the first day of the last period you had before conception.... if you were at the end of a 7 day period when you slept with him your period maybe started on the 17th.... that would have meant you’d have been pretty much 13 weeks by June 18th not the 10 weeks that the doctor suggested.  And then you gave birth on your due date so that backs that up. For peace of mind and to be completely honest with everyone involved you maybe still get that paternity test but I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about 😘
  • LizzwizLizzwiz Regular
    How could I had been 13 weeks? Wouldn’t I have been 15 weeks? Honestly idk if it’s postpartum that’s making me feel this way. Close family I have told swear I conceived in April since I had baby right on due date but honestly I just can’t take that off my mind. Like I put every excuse possible. The baby’s color, his nose, the ears even. I’m just going insane and I don’t try to be around him like that. 
  • LizzwizLizzwiz Regular
    He doesn’t deserve me as a mother. I feel for my baby 
  • BundabergBundaberg Regular
    Hi @Lizzwiz
    So the weeks of pregnancy are dated from the first day of your last period. This means that in the first two weeks or so you aren't really pregnant. In those two weeks the body is preparing for ovulation. Because it's easier to pinpoint the start of your period, most doctors use the first day of your last period as the starting line of a pregnancy. That way, all pregnancies have kind of a standard timing.

  • LizzwizLizzwiz Regular
    Right. And I said I had sex in my period time February 18 was the start and 7 days cycle. 
  • BundabergBundaberg Regular
    I don't think you have a 7 day cycle. A cycle is calculated from the first day of your period until the first day of your next period. It's normally around 24-35 days. 
    If you have a 28 day cycle, you ovulate on day 14, which is the period you can get pregnant. You can't get pregnant in the first week of your cycle. 
  • LizzwizLizzwiz Regular
    oh I see what you mean. Well I meant like I last 7 days and the period I had sex in was The third last day of it which it was February 23rd. The last period I also remember was in March 13 but I’m saying that idk if it was a period or implantation. But I got another bleeding for sure in that month. That’s the last period I remember because in April and can’t seem to remember if I did or didn’t. But my doc says I conceived in April but I still get nervous with the whole having sex with guy A. I had my baby at “exactly 40 weeks” January 13. But what if they gave me the wrong due date. I myself am going crazy thinking crazy you know 
  • LizzwizLizzwiz Regular
    Btw I told him. I couldn’t keep this feeling inside. Apparently I already had told him and I can’t even remember but he said I did in the beginning. But he feels like it’s his and I told him what if he’s not and he keeps telling me the dates don’t add up. He told me I should go see a therapist & honestly I felt a bit insulted but then again I have been on bad postpartum since the beginning. Or the baby blues. 
  • LizzwizLizzwiz Regular
    Also this was when I found out I was pregnant on May 8th
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