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Just need to vent...advice/support welcome

So, I am almost 30, and I have been with my partner now for 7 years. We reached that point in our lives where we were ready to start our own family, however, the universe had different plans for us.

So I fell pregnant during COVID (2020), and we were so excited. It was very unplanned but welcomed as we had been trying from the year before. The results were shocking as we went to the doctor to get my partner tested for covid, and myself checked because I was having my period within a week after my normal period ended. So the doctor did a Urine pregnancy test and 3 tests later, they came out inconclusive, so they had to send blood to the lab to determine for sure. 5 days later I received the results that I was 6 weeks pregnant. Being so happy, we booked our first ultra-sound. 

At the ultrasound, surprise surprise, the doc could not find the egg... mind you I already had a bad feeling that morning as I was still slightly bleeding, and cramping a lot. I don't think I have cried more than I did that day. It was an ectopic worse nightmare.

Anyway, I had to get over it as 3 days later I was in extreme pain and had to get rushed to the hospital. Little did I know, I would be going into surgery within 24hours of entering the ER. Being on extreme pain meds to numb the pain as much as possible to allow me to keep calm, I didn't really realize the situation. 

Of course, it was then again brought back to me once I woke up from the surgery and could not move. Then it all came out again. I was devastated. The surgeon let me know that I was 10-12 weeks not around 7, therefore the embryo was bigger than expected but the miracle was that they didn't need to remove any tubes. I was grateful for that, as it was my saving grace...

After that, I focused on recovery before thinking about trying again. 

Now it's 2023, and my partner and I have been trying for the last year...but no luck. 
I just feel emotionally drained from trying, taking prenatal vitamins, trying to stay away from stress, keeping my hopes up, and putting on a pretty happy face for everyone who did not have plans for kids right now yet falling pregnant anyway.

My doctor says all is good in the baby-making department for both myself and my partner and that we should not have any problems conceiving. However, this is not the case and I am trying to keep it together but I constantly break-down when no1 is looking. 

Starting to think I might need help.


  • I am so sorry for your loss. That is devastating. I can’t imagine how you are feeling. But I understand the heartache of trying for a year with no luck. It really is daunting. I am constantly breaking down. Feeling jealously of those around me who are pregnant and I don’t like that side of me. 
  • Thank you for responding. I can handle the devastation of not being able to conceive, but I hate the jealousy. I just wish there was a way to shut off bad emotions...
  • Hi, I am deeply sorry to hear about your struggles. Staying positive can be a challenge, especially when it feels like everyone around you is getting pregnant and making announcements. However, it's important to remember that each of our journeys is unique and different. Take good care of yourself and don't give up on your dreams.

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