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TTC and feeling helplessly alone

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over a year now. We're in our early 30s, have no health concerns and recently had a fertility MOT which has flagged no issues. And yet month after month, we don't fall pregnant. 

Is anyone else in this position? I don't know anyone who is and I feel so alone with it all. I find it so difficult to speak with my friends about how frustrating this last year has been, because as great as they are they just do not understand. People constantly say "you'll be fine" or "just give it time" but sometimes what I think I really need is just to connect with someone who is in the same boat. 

If anyone out there is reading this and nodding along because they understand how it feels, please feel free to message me. Would also be great to hear from anyone who was in this position and did then fall pregnant naturally. Maybe some hope is what is needed!


  • Hey love. This was me both times TTC. Took us a year the first time and about 15 months the second (am currently nine weeks pregnant). We had some early losses and I’ve had various investigations over the years due to some pelvic pain issues but nothing ever seemed to be wrong as such. 

    The only things I’d say are:

    - bloody hell it’s hard. It’s so hard. Give yourself some grace, allow yourself to get upset and wallow and then pick yourself up. Putting on a brave face only gets you so far. 

    - how are you tracking ovulation? This was key for me especially second time around as I’m still breastfeeding my son and that definitely used to impact ovulation. If you’re not sure of ovulation then you could be timing it wrong! I think more ladies than you think get the timing wrong. 

    - what supplements are you taking? This time around I finally started taking omega 3 as well as the usual stuff, maybe it helped with egg quality. 

    - what’s your weight like? First time round, I got pregnant with my son after losing a bit of weight and doing more exercise. This time round, I got pregnant after I finally put on weight (I lost loads post baby!). Both times my weight at conception was 10 stone on the dot. Possibly a coincidence but I think this time my body needed some more fat on it!! 

    Keep smiling 🙂 
  • Hey, Lauren, I feel completely same- I want to talk about it but all my friends are not in this stage and I am sure their reaction would be similar as you said: "you will be fine". I am really looking to talk to someone about it. I just had another period and it hit me hard, I was crying for 2-3 days, very very bad mood and complete hopelessness. I always wanted family and now everything else (like, work, other projects) seem meaningless.
  • Hi Lauren, I feel the same as you and it’s actually nice to know there are others in the same position as I feel so alone. Been TTC since October now and every month having no luck. Feeling very down with it. 
    Always here for a chat.. x  
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