Im joining you and really need some advice!!! UPDATE

Hi Ladies,

I am joining you through unfortunate circumstances, today i am 8 +3 and on friday i was told my little bean was 6.4mm but there was no heartbeat. I was given different options of how it can be dealt with. I decided to opt for the medical management where i go into hospital tomorrow and they give me a tablet to induce mc within the next 48 hours. i will then spend all of wednesday in hospital waiting for it to all come out.
My husband and i are devasted, this was our first baby.
I was wondering whether anyone else has gone through this who can give me some advice?? I am really really scared as the midwife has told me that i am going to be in quite a bit of pain from the contractions and there is going to be a lot of blood. I am scared at really dont know what to think. I keep feeling pains in my stomach and lower and think that it is going to happen naturally any minute so i am constantly on edge, this feeling is horrid.
I just hope i feel better after it is out and all over with.

Katiee x

Thankyou to all the ladies that replied to my message, i really appreciate it, it is wonderful to see all the support out there.
Well, i went in on Monday to speak to the doctors and i decided to have the operation to have my little bean removed image. I went in on Wednesday and all done. I really dont know what to say about it, the doctors and nurses were all lovely - but now i just feel really empty and sad. Im still in a bit of pain and bleeding but at least that should stop in time.
Katiee x

[Modified by: Katiee on 13 March 2010 17:34:00 ]


  • Hi Katiee, sorry to hear what a horrible time you are going through. I can't offer any advice on medical management as I have never been through this, but didn't want to read and run. I had a mmc discovered at 9 +6 weeks, opted for an ERPC as I wanted everything over with as quickly as possibly. That was last Tuesday, I am havign my good moments and bad. Advice I can give you is that all the girls on this forum have been amazing over the last few weeks giving me advice and support so you are in the right place. Take care x
  • So sorry to hear your story, this truly is an awful thing to have to go through. I was pregnant with our first baby and found out that the baby had no hearbeat at our 12 week scan, baby stopped growing at 10 weeks and 4 days. Both me and hubby were deverstated, I opted for the surgery and had the operation on the 4th of Feb. I cant say it has been the easiest time since, I've haven't had much pain, but I have been bleeding for 4 weeks, on and off. I cant really offer you any advice re the medical management, but emotionally just go with how you feel, I had good days and really bad days, it really does get easier with time. Don't do to much too soon and look after both yourself and your oh, you will really need each pther over the next few weeks.

    If you have any questions or need any adive then don't be afraid to ask on here, everyone has been amazing on here for me and it has been a real help. Hope everything goes as well as can be expected tomorrow. Take care x
  • hi hun.. so sorry 2 hear of your loss. i really dont know what to say cos like bubabear i opted for ERPC which i had 9 days ago. the day i went into hospital for it i was starting to miscarry... it is a horrbile experiece and im not going to lie it is painful.. youll get through it though katie.. make sure you have your husband or family with you cos u do need the support.. the doctors can give you painkillers and i also had a plug put inside 2 stop me bleeding but thats beacuse i was having the ERPC later that day and they didnt want me still bleeding wile doing the op.. il be thinking of you katie and stay strong... its very hard but youve always got people on here to talk 2 if you need to.. like me it was my 1st baby and im only 21. its devastating but just keep thinking that one day it will happen! take care xxxx
  • Oh how awful for you, I am so sorry. My situation was different - I had an ERPC, so can't really help on that front, but just wanted to offer you my support and to say the best thing to do is to share your feelings with your oh and with the BE girls - they are a total Godsend. xxSara
  • So sorry Hun that you've had to join us in these circumstances.

    I started to mc myself at 6+2 and again at 6+5 so neithet time I have need yht emedical management. As I wasn't so far gone mine was like a heavy period but with worse pains although it was kept at bay with paracetamol.

    The best advice I can give you is not to put too much pressure on yourself and take days at an hour at a time, and ensure that you use those around you for support - that includes us too and please remeber that as I have found the support on here to overwhelming and I really don't think I would have got through the mcs without the ladies on here.

    Sending you lots of hugs at this horrible time.

  • sorry to hear your story katiee. I had an early scan at 6+5 to be told the baby's heart rate was very low and I would need a repeat scan 7-10 days later. 1 week late at 7+5 i was told my baby had no heartbeat. like you this was our first baby as well. i was offered the option to let it happen naturally, or to have a d&c. I couldnt bare the thought of it happening naturally so I had a d&c when I would have been 8 weeks. I cant really help with what will happen in your case, but I guess practically get yourself some thick pads, and make sure you take regular pain relief. I know for me, emotionally once the d&c was over I felt i could grieve more easily and then start to move on. I had a couple of very bad weeks (1 in between the 2 scans, and then for the week following my d&c). Since then (and it has now been almost 4 weeks since the d&c) i have gradually had more good days than bad. I found the support on here fantastic. It also helped me to talk to my mum (who didnt know i was pregnant until after we lost baby), and to keep talking to my hubby. We decided to name our baby as I didnt want to forget them, and I have ordered a piece of memorial jewellery.

    Remember you and hubby look after each other. We are all here for you as well.
    Jen. xxx
  • Oh Katiee I am so sorry. My situation is slightly different I do have onther children although that doesnt make it any less easy to deal with. I also had a mmc so had an ERPC. I just wanted to offer my support to you. The loss is very very hard to deal with and it is so important to let your emotions out. Can you talk to your OH?? I too got some jewellery to remember my lost baby and feel I have to talk about it alot to help me deal with it. It is very hard in the first few weeks but it will gradually get easier.

    This is a great site to come onto, everyone is so supportive and understands the pain you are feeling. You can come on here to cry and get angry or say anything that maybe you feel you cant say to others, we totally understand. I found it hard to talk to people who hadnt experienced a mc as they didnt really understand.

    Look after yourself, my thoguhts will be with you

  • hey hun, am so so sorry to hear this. i did opt for the med managment, i had a mmc found at our 12 weeks scan but bean only measured about 8 wks ish, i had had scans at 5,6 and 7 weeks and all was ok image any questions please ask! i didn't find my hosp v informative! i had a bit of brown discharge between the tablet and the day in hosp but then during the stay they first give u some tablets and put them by ur cervix to softne it and then some more to swallow every 3 hours i think... the one thing they didnt warn me about was my waters breaking! naive probably but i didn't and wasn't in any state to think! so take some change's of clothes i took pj's for when i was there and wish i'd taken a spare pair! the other think is to keep drinking water and keeping going to the toilet, i wasn't told this and its what helped it along, the quicker it's over with the quicker u can go home! take ur own sanitary towels cus the ones they have are horrid! oh and they do offer u pain relief and anti sickness if you need it! i found the bleeding was bad at the start but keep drinkinga nd weeing and u'll pass some clots after too and then it was just like a heavy period, they don't let you go till it slows down so they don't wait for you to mc and then ship you out! my hosp offered diff things for afterwards and i opted for a mini 'birth' certificate to go with our scan pic's. sorry bit of an essay but feel free to ask any questions! xxx
  • firstly i would like to say sorry for your lost..... I had a miscarriage in Dec...The contrations are a little painful but try not to worry you will be fine....
    your not alone we are all here for you..

    try and keep your chin upimage xxxxxxHUGSxxxxx
  • Hi
    Sorry to hear your sad news. I had found out that my littleone had died at 8+4 on 11th Jan when I should have been 12 weeks. I had a D&C however before I had the op I did have some contraction pains. It feels like pain really low in your back but the hospital will give you some pain relief and it eases. I recommend you take a couple of pairs of pants and bottoms plus your own sanitary towels so you do not have to use the hospital ones. The staff will be lovely and will really help you. Will be thinking of you tomorrow! xx
  • hi katie, i didnt catch your post before your update. i sorry that you had to join us image it sad to see the new faces in here week after week. hope your feeling ok, hang in there hun take one day at a time we are all here for you if you need anything! hugs***
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