I don't know how to feel

Before I go any further, I'm really sorry if what I write upsets anyone but I feel that it's something that I have to do. I also want you to know that I found you lovely ladies on here to be an absolutley fantastic support for me since my mc in November, and I can honestly say that I don't think I would have got through it without you all.

Well, today at 13DPO at tea time I did a HPT and got a feint BFP on a Superdrug test without using FMU. I am overjoyed that I am actually pregnant again, however I absolutley sh!t scared of what it means. I'm usually a 'glass half full' kinda girl, however I'm just so so scared that something's going to go wrong - the usual excitement of pg has completely gone for me.

I'm trying to focus on the positives, one big one being that on the month I did get my BFP it wasn't showing this early even with FMU, so if it's showing now this time around, surely it means that the levels are higher than last time already? I had only known I had been pg for 4 days before I started to bleed last time.

I can;t explain it, but I just knew that I was pg, even though my (.)(.) generally feel like normal, nothing like (o)(o) which they did last time. But I have the unmistakale feeling in my tummy, the funny hormones and the vivid dreams which just did it for me.

I don't expect any replies, and I certainly don't expect any congratulations, however I just needed to put it down so I can at least try and get my head around it all


[Modified by: **rainbow** on 04 February 2010 18:57:21 ]


  • congrats most certain are in order missus! what fabulous news!!! although I'm sure you must feel all over the place, I'm sure I would. you're bound to feel nervous, but its really positive that you are noticing difference in symptoms this time around.

    i'm hoping this is the stickiest of sticky beans xx
  • BE just ate my reply!
    I know how u are feeling hun. I just got a CBD positive and now im crapping myself. I had a small bleed 5 days before my AF was due so putting it down to implantation but im just soo scared. Book urself into the docs and ask as many questions as u want to try and help u. Im going 2moz as I cant quite believe my positive. All we can do is take each day at a time. This time I do feel differently whereas last time I kept saying "im scared somethings wrong" and it was. 1 loss doesnt mean it will happen again, we must stay positive
  • Rainbow I am sooo pleased to read this and wish you all the best! I can't wait to feel that tummy feeling but at the same time think I will feel just the same as you - happy but anxious. Try and keep yourself busy and hopefully the time will go quickly. Make sure you ring to book an early scan (as you are entitled to one between 6-8 weeks). I was told not to have one after 8 weeks as the NHS will not allow you to have one at 12 then. Keeping everything crossed for you and sending you lots of sticky bean glue (and a big excited hug)!
  • Aw congrats hun, so pleased for you and hope everything goes really well.

  • congratulations!!!!! I keep checking in here all the time for you guys. so pleased!!!

  • Hun, I am so pleased but understand your worries,
    I know relaxing will be hard this time, but this could be it - your baby!
    Lots of love xxx
  • witwoo lady, of course congratulations are in order. It's great to see one of us getting their well deserved BFP. How you are feeling is completely understandable. We've faced the worst pregnancy can bring and the innocence and pure excitement won't ever be the same, but keep thinking positive and look forward to feeling tired and sick!! Wishing you a very happy and very health 8 months x x
  • Big congrats are def in order huni.

    Of course your gona feel nervous, anxious and all over the place, we will be with you every step of the way hun. xxx
  • I just wanted to say congratulations hun, wishing u all the best xxx
  • Thank you all for your lovely replies, you've brought a tear to me eye!

    It's just all so surreal at the moment, I'm very scared to go the toilet and almost wish I hadn;t tested as then I'd still be in some sort of ignorant bliss!

    My first milestone is to reach 5+2 without any problems, then 6 weeks then see what happens.

    Thank you all for being so understanding


    P.S Pickle it was really lovely to hear from you, how are you huni? xx
  • I'm so so thrilled foe you hun, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! you're bound to feel so overwhelmed with emotions but try and keep positive, a happy mum means a happy bean image


  • Aw, congratulations from me too image
    Lots of sticky baby dust
    Lynn x
  • Not too bad thanks sweet, bit poo today but you're post made me smile. Really happy for u, make sure u get the best care xxx
  • Aww thanks Huni, that's fab!!

  • Grrrr, BE ate my reply again! Basically just reiterating what everyone else has said... CONGRATULATIONS, and may the next 8 months be the best of your life image
  • Congratulations, really hope and pray that everything goes OK for you. The thought of being pregnant again petrifies me (just had a MMC) so I can guess how you must be feeling. Keeping things crossed for you
  • Hi rainbow,
    Congrats to you and just have to say getting past 5+2 was my milestone too and i reached it yesterday. I'm 5+3 today and everything is great, I even got a 3+ on cbd last night and symptoms are big and strong, not like last month where i just had a feeling that it wouldn't be a proper pregnancy!! I totally understand how you feel, my next milestone is 27 weeks!! Sending you some sticky baby dust and hopefully see you in due in Oct xx
  • Hi hun

    Haven't been on for a few days and have only just seen this but i wanted to say a huge congrats and i can totally understand why you are anxious. Take care and hope to see you in pregnancy (when i feel brave anough to post there properly!

    Jodie xxx
  • Oooooooooooh Rainbow how exciting! I'm not testing til 18th Feb as my AF wasn't actually AF it was rest of mc image LOL I so know we are destined to be bump buddies so I'm all hopeful now LMAO
    I'm sure this one will be sticky my lovely!
    On the other subject I know I will feel the same but there isn't much we can do except try to remain positive and keep talking!
  • Rainbow, i've only just seen this post!

    I am going to say congratulations but also that I totally know how you must be feeling. I know I will be the same and it's totally normal.

    Last month when I got a bfn I was almost relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with the terror and worry yet I want a baby more than anything. I don't think it quite makes sense unless you've been through it.

    What you said is not upsetting it's totally normal. We'll be here to support you until it sinks in and you get to a stage where you can believe it!

    Lots of love x x x
Sign In or Register to comment.