why are people so quick to jump in and..

share their unwanted opinions!!!
Im 19 turning 20 and my partner is almost 21 and everyone is saying we are silly for ttc.
His parents seem to think its going to be the end of our lives and keep saying they are too young to be grandparents!!
Then his sister says she will be angry if he gets me preg!!
Then his cousin is all butting in an saying stuff, even though she dislikes me anyway so it doesn't surprise me she's joining in.
Last year i had 2 mmc, the first we told our families, my family was happy then his parents said that we had ruined our lives and would never have any kind of social life again!! When i lost the baby at 15 weeks his parents didnt really seem that fussed, they just said "Oh well at least your still young, plenty of time to try again later in life" then his sister didnt even say sorry about it or anything, she just said "You shouldn't have got yourself preg!"
Then with the 2nd preg we decided not to tell anyone, i ended up telling my nan and she was supportive and helped me through the mmc but didnt bother telling his family, not that they would have cared!!
My nan is the only person who is being supportive in this whole thing and says its our lives and we can live them how we like.
I understand that I'm still young but its not like I'm still in school and can't take care of myself.
I have been with my partner over 3 years and we plan to get engaged soon, we have our own house that we bought and pay a mortgage on, we are both in good paid jobs and we have our own great dane doggy Jonah image

Sorry to rant on, not expecting any replies, just had to get it off my chest lol.

xx emma xx


  • thats really shitty! Sorry that you're going through that. Families can be so frustrating sometimes. I know its easy, but try to not let it stress you out. Its the worst thing. One thing I have learnt in this life is that you will never please everyone - try not to let it get you down.

    Good luck with TTC - hopefully we'll hear good news soon image xx
  • Sorry to hear about your family being like this.

    At the end of the day it is you and your partners decisions and if you both feel ready then thats all that matters and family should just support you through what ever.

    Good luck ttc again xx
  • Hey BabyNowPlease,

    I just wanted to say, I was a Mum for the first time at the age of 20 and it was the total making of me. I had another at baby 23 and although I split up from their Dad when I was preg with her. My kids are my absolute world!

    Everything I've achieved has been because I was motivated to take care and provide for them. Going to Uni at the age of 25, moving down south... everything, even meeting my gorgeous DH was partly driven by my desire to find myself a loving partner and a father for my girls.

    Plus, I wish it was as easy to conceive now with my DH as it was when I was your age! Ignore everyone and follow your heart, I think there are too many old Mums nowadays. I am not dissing older Mums and not trying to offend anyone, you can be an awesome Mum at any age, but I think as a society we have a modern culture of settling down and having a family later and later and as a result we have more fertility issues than we ever had before.

    If you and your partner want a baby, have one! Good luck and wishing you all the best xxx
  • hi ,

    i was 18 just turned 19 when i had my son wo is now 4 1/2. He ia the best thing that has ver happened to me.....i am now 23 and have a little girl who is 3 at the end of may and a little girl who is 20 months old. people often make snide remarks how i have ruined my life and shouldnt have them at my age but hey if i was out getting blathered like other people my age theyde be moaning still and wanting me to calm down. It is your life, you and your partner sound settled and happy, its hard work but so rewarding. i suffered a miscarriage last month to my suprise at an 'accident' . dont stress and get too panicky over charts and things ..........when your chilled it will happen!!! lots of luck louise xx
  • I'm 21 and have been TTC since i was 19, got married at 19 and we own our own home. Everyone said the same to me i'm so young and i've got my whole life, whats the rush, etc etc. I had a MMC 3wks ago and everyone keeps saying oh at least you know you can get prg now and your still young plenty of time


    Totally understand!!!

  • Thank you ladies for your support and kind replies image
    I don't feel that being a young mum makes you a bad mum, people have said am i doing it because i want to fit in with the crowd!!!
    WTF is with that, i don't see a baby as a fashion accessory!
    I'm having a baby because its what we want and what will make us happy, we understand its going to be hard and tiring work but at the end of the day it will all be well worth it.
    I have just said to everyone that if they don't like it then they don't need to be involved and that their comments are better kept to themselves.

    Some family members are saying i will never have a good career, which to me is silly. Just because i have a baby young doesnt mean i will never get anywhere in life! It just means it will be on hold for a while.
    But its also not like i dont have any qualifications.
    I have an NVQ in Beauty Therapy, an NVQ as a Nail Technician, an NVQ 2 in child care and have just started my NVQ 3 in child care.
    So i feel quite proud of myself lol.

    One thing i was wondering about though is that my job is temp till july, if i get another job as a teaching assistant at the start of the new school year in sept and am preg can they turn me away?
    And if i get my BFP this month before an interview do i tell them?
    Am a little confused and worried about this
  • Hey hun

    I think you should do what's right for you, no matter what you age.

    I wasn't sure about the job hunting thing but I found this topic for you which could help:


    Good luck with your plans xx
  • Cheers hun, i been looking at it on the internet too image
    I will only be like 4-7 weeks at the time of the interview but i have had 2 mmc so dont really want to tell anyone cause then it will just be questions about what happened and stuff and i been in that situation before and it wasnt very nice.

    Thanks for all your help ladies
    Lots of baby dust and hoping we get our BFP this month image
    Im in my 2ww after tomorrow, hope it goes quick lol
  • heya,
    i am 20 and my bf is 27 and i had a mc in december. my parents cant wait to be grandparents, the only neg comments are from his mum as she goes on about us being married before having children (as she is religous) but at the end of the day its not my fault that he hasnt proposed!! lol. we know we will marry one day but having a baby is more important to us!
    like everyone else says, its our lives and we can do wat we want!
    only our parents know we are ttc, no other family or family friends, but i know once i announce i am preg (if i ever get to 3 months!) there will be alot of people in my family who will think we are ruining our lives etc but my dad will set em straight! lol. i know alot of people will think i got preg accidently, but i will be proud to tell them we were trying and it is what we want. we will make great parents!
    we have been together nearly 2 years, have a house and 3 rabbits, 3 cats and 2 fish! so its not like he's someone ive just met!
    hope everyting is OK with the job, i think you can easily just keep it quiet as alot of people dont find out they are preg until they are quite far gone anyway, so hopefully all should be fine!
    good luck getting BFP!

    [Modified by: sian490 on May 15, 2010 10:12 AM]

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