Help & Advice

Hi Ladies,

Can I ask for some help?

I lost my baby boy at 17 weeks just a month ago. It was a natural labour (well as natural as it could be).

I have been given a 10% chance of what was wrong with my little boy reoccuring again. On paper this sounds so selfish but I was wondering when is the 'right' time to TTC again. The need and want to be a mummy is so overpowering and all consuming, I don't know what to do.

Me and OH had agreed to wait until my consultant appt to think about TTC again but daily we go back and forth on whether we just 'see' what happens. I have stopped bleeding and had no AF yet.

So any advice would be great.

Mrs J x


  • hi there welcom 2 the forum! im so sorry 2 hear of your loss image (hugs). iv been thinking the same thing as you though! i had an ERPC 3 weeks ago as my baby died at 7 weeks but only found out at a 10 week scan! iv also had no bleeding and no AF! me and my partner have been having sex but not ttc if you no what i mean. i would love to be pregnant again but he would like to wait. i was told by my doctors that i should wait one AF before trying again if thats what i wanted but if i felt physically fine then you can start as soon as... its just so they can work out dates which is why they adivse you to wait. its really down to you.. its whether your physically and emotinally ready to start again. everyones different. you will be more fertile first 3 months image
    when is your appointment??? if its been a month since you lost your baby then maybe your AF will turn up any day now??? so maybe just give it another week or two and then TTC!!! image
    claire xxxx
  • So sorry to hear about your loss, it must have been so hard for you. It is so hard to decide when to ttc again and I think at the end of the day it is up to you and your OH to decide. Do you feel emotionally ready for it I think is the biggest question. I totally understand the burning need to start ttc again. I had a mmc last month and desperatly want to fall pregnant again.

    10% is a tiny percentage so there is no reason it would happen again, have you had any advice yet from your consultant or is that why you are going for an appointment? Is your appointment soon, if so maybe it is best just to hold off until then.

    Good luck and let us know how you get on

  • Hi Mrs J, so sorry for your loss. I completly understand how you are feeling, and I think there are loads of women on here who have the same question. I lost my baby at 11 weeks but I had a D+C. I stopped bleeding about 4 days ago, but it took almost 6 weeks for the bleeding to stop. I think I have my AF whilst I was bleeding about week 5, but cannot be sure. Me and hubby hae decided to srat TTC again (last night actually!!!!) we ar going to be BD'ing every other night as I have no idea where I am in my cycle, just going to do this and see, should be for about 4 weeks or until I get AF, I think this way it is very relaxed, I don't know if or when I will ovulate but if I do and were a BD'ing every other night we should catch something.
    I was going to wait, but the 6 weeks after my operation felt like for ever so as soon as I was physically better we started again, I just want to be PG again, don't gt me wrong I am terrified though!

    Do want ever feels right beween you and OH, you know when it feel right. When you do start again hope you have lots and lots of luck x
  • Thank you for replying.

    I do feel ready for it, in both the physical and emotional state. My appt is until the middle of April and that was our bench mark.

    We go back and forth daily on whether we should BD sooner but I think we will stick to our agreed date. I guess I am being impatient and just want to have another baby, not to replace the baby but to replace the feelings.

  • Mrs J I had an ERPC on 13th Jan. It will be 10 weeks tomorrow since I found out I had m=lost my baby at 8+4 when I was 11+5. I can't imagine how it must have felt to have to go through labour but I think you are one brave lady! I so go for it! I am on cd6 of my thrid cycle since and desperate to see those two lines. I have a docs appointment on Weds to go through some results on my'products of conception' otherwise known to me as my baby - petrified of what they may say! Wishing you all the luck in the world! xx
  • Firstly i would like to say how sorry i am to hear of your situation, I cant imagine what you must be going through,,, i had a miscarriage in dec. and i was bleeding for about a month.....

    I think when you have had your first properly period then you can try again..... I really hope next time goes will for you....

    keep us posted

  • Hi I am so, so sorry for the loss of your little boy. I lost my daughter at 20 weeks in September, it was medically an mmc and I also had induced labour, it was the most horrendous experience of my life, and my life has never been peachy! I completely understand the want to be pregnant again, it consumed me after labour and I was afraid of it happening again. We waited until 1st af and the blood results cane through saying it wasn't me that was the cause. I got prengnant within 6 weeks, however at 14 weeks I had a mmc (baby 11+) it's crushed ne, the experience was different as I had an induced mc and I couldn't hold the baby in my arms but it still tore me apart. I think you need to be emotionally ready and as physically as you can be. We all want to be mothers and unless were told catagorically we must not ttc then of course we will, and quite frankly after a loss you are consumed by it. It's still early days for you.
    I know my story doesn't sound encouraging (sorry) but if you go into ttc after bereavement a lot of the mums in there also fell pregnant again quite quickly and are already well on their way to holding their new baby in their arms. Take care x
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