Green Eyed Monster

I didnt think I'd react like this but two of our close friends (they're a couple) have just announced on Facebook that they're expecting. Initially i was overcome with a wave of jealousy. Why did we suffer a mc and they havent? How come everyone else seems to be able to get preganant and we cant?

I'm very shocked at my behaviour and feelings. We would have been pregnant at the same time. To make matters worse I've found out that my sis is pregnant again for the third time and we would have been 2 weeks apart. It seems like everyone is capable of getting pregnant at the moment except me. Dont get me wrong i am genuinely happy for them too but i'm also suffering from the green eye monster.

Has anyone else suffered/is suffering from this?

Posts

  • Hi Snooks,
    you're definitely not alone there, I've felt like this a number of times since my mc 3ish weeks ago. I'm still coming to terms with it myself and the very last thing I want to see/hear at the minute are pregnancy announcements. As you said, deep down I'm genuinely happy for my friends/family who are expecting, but it doesn't make it any easier when you're dealing with mc yourself.
    My husband has said that his best friend has invited us to stay for a weekend in a month or so, his wife is 24ish weeks pg, I don't think he realises how hard it is for me to be around pregnant people at the minute - but at the same time I really do want to see them. It's so hard!
    Don't beat yourself up too much about it. It's totally understandable given what you've been through. For me, it's been a case of grinning and bearing it and talking it through later with OH behind closed doors.
    Hope it eases for you soon xxx
  • Hi Snooks - don't worry me too! I had m/c about three weeks ago as well and it just seems that just about everyone is pregnant! I think facebook is a bit of a curse really - about six or seven women I am "friends" with are pregnant at moment and have announced it to the world! At least I am not close to any of them & I have to confess that I dropped a couple of them as friends to spare myself their happy updates! I am also finding it difficult as I haven't told many people about the mc or that we are ttc and they keep asking when we are going to start a family. Is really hard but like Happy Traveller I am grinning and bearing it! I think we all need to think happy thoughts that some time soon it'll be our turn to be smug and pregnant! And come on here and vent now and again! XX
  • Hi snooks.im really sorry at what your going through but what you feeling is completely normal.....me and DH were 6 weeks pregnant when my sis announced she was pregnant(she wasn't even trying and had been with her fella for only 2 months)3 weeks later i went on to miscarry...seeing my sister grow made me jealous it was so hard,of course i never said anything me and my sis are very close......when she was 8 moths pregnant i found out i was expecting again too.....but i went on to miscarry 3 weeks later .....3 days after i lost my second baby i was in the delivery room with my sister(she wanted me there as she don't speak to my mom).it was so hard watching her give birth knowing i should of been there a few weeks earlier giving birth or at least stood there pregnant with my second......she had a beautiful girl and i love being an auntie........me and my DH lost our 3rd in 12 months in October and it seems like everywhere i turn people are announcing there pregnant and it gets hard but ive got a fantastic hubby who makes me feel better
  • Oh Jellybean i'm in tears after reading your post because thats pretty much what will happen to me in May next year when my sister has her baby.

    I'm so sorry that you have gone through 3 MC. It's very unfair. I'm sorry that we have all gone through it. MC is the cruelest side of nature that i have ever encountered.

    Jellybean - are you being sent for tests to see why you have had 3 MC...I know its probably no comfort but finding out exactly what is going on inside your body will, I hope, bring some answers and hopefully a BFP very very soon!

    My hubby is very supportive and I couldnt wish for anymore but I cant help feel that he doesnt quite understand. I'm sure this is purely down to him being male and not female and not understanding how powerful hormones can be.....hence my rant on here.

    xx
  • Hi hun,
    I was exactly the same!! I couldnt bare the sight of pregnant women & would get really mad, why can they have a healthy pregnancy & i lost mine? I'm in a happy stable relationship - they have been together 2mins etc etc...
    I even had a right snap at my cousin for complaining about how hard her life was when she has a beautiful baby boy!! I just couldn't get my head round why they were complaining about their life & morning sickness & how hard pregnancy is when i would have given my right arm for that!!
    I had a cousin who was preg & due 2 weeks before me & that was really hard too but she was amazing & knew that I would come round when i was ready & sent me the most beautiful flowers!!

    It took me a very long time to start to feel better about seeing pregnant women again & a lot of talking... mostly to my hubby who is the same - just doesn't seem to understand, I think it is a bloke thing! he is amazing and tried to convince me that he wasn't bored of talking about it but I felt like he must be!! I also spoke lots to my close family & friends that knew what I had been through & that have also been through it.... they reassured me that it was completely normal!!

    Once I had talked and talked and talked about it i started to feel better... but this took months and everyone is different! Give yourself time and space away from these people hun & just see them when your ready! Dont stop talking to your hubby... he will want to know how you feel!! I also hate to say this but one the other things that has helped is being pregnant again as well, but I think that this has just given me sommat else to focus on and worry about!

    Sorry thats really long x I hope some of it helps if you get to the end of it hun x x
  • Hey hun

    Like everyone says you are certainly not alone sweetie in feeling this way & it's perfectly natural!!!

    When we lost our 1st baby my sil was also pg at the same time so every week up to the birth was a constant reminder, she had her baby a month after ours wouldve been due & on the day she went in too be induced we found out we had lost our 3rd baby!!!

    Life is so hard at times but i think the hardest things are thrown at the strongest & we will all get there one day with our treasured bundles of joy.
    xxxx
  • I know exactly how you feel. A very close couple to us (we were their bridesmaid and best man) have just anounced they're 6weeks pg. I'm jealous as they were only ttc 2months, and we've been ttc since xmas, with mc in september. And i just got AF today. If I'd had a bfp this month I think i'd have been ok, as would have only been a few weeks behind, and we couldn't been pg buddies together. Now I feel like I'm going backwards and am just so jealous of her. But of course I'm pleased for them. I wouldn't wish the woes of ttc on anyone, let alone ttc after mc like us.

    This thread is reassurance that we all feel the same and understand each other tho image
  • I am so sorry to hear about the situations everyone has been through. It is horrible and I also know how it feels. My 17 year old sister found out she was pregnant 4 months ago by her on-again off-again boyfriend. She lives 45 minutes away from me so we don't get to see eachother a whole lot. I feel terrible for saying this, but even when she calls to come see me I don't really want her to bc it's sooo hard being around her. Not just because she's pregnant, but because all she does is complain about her "big" belly and feeling tired and this and that. I told her last weekend when I saw her that I would trade her places and be pregnant any day. I loved having a big pregnant belly with my son and I miss it so bad. She's not even excited about it. They actually tried to get pregnant, so it's not even like she accidentally got pregnant. She's a miserable pregnant person and it irritates me! Sorry for the rant as well, but as you said, the green eyed monster has definitely got me down. I hope we all can have our chance at a BFP, whether it be our 2nd, 3rd, even 4th one, as long as we get a healthy bean. Blessings to us all!:\)
  • Oh Jellybean i'm in tears after reading your post because thats pretty much what will happen to me in May next year when my sister has her baby.

    I'm so sorry that you have gone through 3 MC. It's very unfair. I'm sorry that we have all gone through it. MC is the cruelest side of nature that i have ever encountered.

    Jellybean - are you being sent for tests to see why you have had 3 MC...I know its probably no comfort but finding out exactly what is going on inside your body will, I hope, bring some answers and hopefully a BFP very very soon!

    My hubby is very supportive and I couldnt wish for anymore but I cant help feel that he doesnt quite understand. I'm sure this is purely down to him being male and not female and not understanding how powerful hormones can be.....hence my rant on here.

    xx



    Hi sorry its took so long to reply it was my birthday weekend and ive been spoilt rotten!!!.......im so sorry you are going through a similar situation to me....no woman deserves to have to go through it....my docs have been good....because ive already got a 5year old boy im not seen as a priority case.....They are looking into something called Hughes syndrome(sticky blood syndrome) ...because i keep suffering recurrent miscarriages and i have epilepsy and there the two main contributing facts,by all accounts when we next conceive they will prescribe me a low dose of aspirin to thin my blood i think.my and hubby are still ttc tho...a good friend of mine had 8 miscarriages and went on to have 2 gorgeous girls.i wish you the very best and il keep my eyes peeled out for you.if you ever want to talk im usually lurking.....;\)
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