Might be pregnant but too scared to test

H2B and I started trying to conceive a year ago and we very quickly got pregnant. Unfortunately, a few days after getting our BFP I miscarried. It was the most emotionally and physically painful thing I have ever gone through and I'm still not over it now. I have moments (like I'm sure the rest of you do) where I just crumble and I feel distraught at the loss of something so special and I worry constantly that it will happen again.

Anyway, my periods stopped in early November so I haven't had one since early October (dr thinks it is stress related). A few weeks ago I was certain that I had finally ovulated as I had a few signs that indicated it had happened (sore nipples, EWCM). Anyway, over the last few days I have become more and more convinced that I might be pregnant (my head is all over the place at the moment and I can't remember when we last had unprotected sex). I have repeatedly had little waves of nausea, the sides of my boobs are sore (which I never get post or pre ovulation/period), I keep getting mild cramping but no period and I have had a slight on/off pale brown discharge since yesterday. The thing is, even though the chances of me being pregnant are slim, I am too terrified to test because if I do and I get BFP then it makes the pregnancy real and then I will be ripping my hair out with worry about whether I will miscarry again (the brown discharge isn't helping my state of mind). I know this all sounds stupid but I keep thinking that maybe I can just ignore it all for the next few months and if it turns out I am pregnant then the first trimester will have passed and I can enjoy the rest of the pregnancy without so much worry. How does anyone cope with being pregnant again after a miscarriage????? On the other hand, I keep thinking that I have to test asap because if I am pregnant and I miscarry again then I need to log it with the dr so that if it happens a 3rd time she will send me for tests.

I just don't know how to get out of this mind set and I need someone to drag me out. Please help me.... :\(


  • Aww hunny, I really do think you should test then at least you'll know one way or the other. I know it will be a really terrifying time for you if you are pregnant - but it can also be joyous too :\)

    If you are pregnant, you'll need to see your GP ASAP as some offer earlier reassurance scans if you've had a miscarriage and that might put your mind a rest a little image

    Also, you may not be pregnant but your AF may be due if you think that you ov a few weeks ago, at the moment you could be worrying about something that's not even happening.

    Try and gather the corage to test hun, I really think that this is the best way forward for you, and don't forget regardless of the outcome we will all be here for you.

    Sending you lots of hugs

  • hi i am new to the site and me any hubby have just started trying, i thought i would reply to your post as i had a miscarrige 3 years ago (still as painful thinking about it as it was at the time) and ever since then have been convinced it will happen again or i wont be able to concieve. but more recently i have been speeking to my friends (some mums and some not) abit more openly about my worries,concerns and probs/ and have found out that miscarrying 1st time around is more common than ppl think and 4 of my friends miscarried before falling on and although (as we both know) this is a painful,traumatic time it can also make us more determind in a way.

    i can totally understand your worry hun but i would suggest you do a test to first of all clarify what is happening and then you can put the right wheels in motion - if you are pg then smile and chillax then speak to your doc re your discharge,worrys and questions.
    - if you not then again still speak to your doc about anything he can suggest and then put a brave face on , stay calm and try again.

    all this may be easier said than done but the most important thing is YOU at the moment and the calmer you are the better chance you have of everything been ok.

    i hope all goes well sweety. take care xxxxxxx
  • I am so sorry for your loss. But you need to get to the doctors very soon. If you are getting discharge and you are pregnant then it might be an infection and the doctors can treat the infection to give you and your baby a better chance of going full term.

    If you are not pregnant then I pray that god gives you a beautiful healthy baby and a textbook pregnancy this year.

    My wife and I lost our twin boys at 24 weeks. Everyday we are constantly in fear of it happening again, but remember that there are millions of people out there in the world who are a lot less fortunate than us and who have poor living conditions, poor diets together with a lack of medical care and they still manage to go and have healthy children so am sure things will happen for us too.

    Have faith, I know it's hard but without faith every step will be hard.8\)
  • Hello there

    I agree with everyone else. I think you should test so that you know one way or the other. Right now you are tearing yourself apart with anxiety and that is not good for you. You need to know one way or the other so that you can move forward. If it was me I wouldn't be able to "forget" that I might be pregnant for a whole three months - I think the uncertainty would kill me.

    I know it will be hard for you hon but I think you really need to bite the bullet and test.

    Good luck

  • I agree with the others! and like rainbow said, this is a lovely group of ladies (and Karl not forgetting you!) and we'll do anything we can to help you through this anxious time whichever way the test goes.
  • I agree with all the other ladies, you need to test hun.
    We are all here for you whatever happens, (((((big hugs))))) xx
  • Hi. I know how terrifing it can b. I m/c in Nov then 6 wks later found out im preg again n still im terrified but i do know that u r better off knowing so u can get the med advise u need n sometimes if im honest it does u good 2 realise that the feeling u r feeling r only normal. I still havent joined any of the other forums just encase but I do read this forum alot n every 1 is so supportive no matter what. xx
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