Gosh i've missed loads!! Babyluv im so sorry she got you hun. I think 2010 is the way forward for alot of us.
Breighlin I think the whole eating & sleeping thing is a way of greif, I felt like this after the 1st mmc, I couldnt sleep &spent half the night awake & tossing & turning with the most stupid things going through my head. You will feel better hun, you've got so much going on at the moment it's just trying to get your head around it all.
Sorry havent replied to everyone there's so much to catch up on & my Roxy is being a little cow at the min!! Will come back on when she has a nap xxx
Thanks Kari - I'm glad someone else had a similar hCG experience to me. I hadn't realised what a roller coaster you were on - it must have been horrid. I'm sure your next pregnancy will be the total opposite.
Gems (think it was you who asked) Yes, it really feels good to know my hCG levels are normal. I think I have been one of the more fortunate molar ladies.
Breighlin I think how you are feeling at the moment is totally normal. I also find it hard to sleep at night - I have such random thoughts and sometimes I can't stop thinking about all the worse case scenarios that might happen if I fall pg again. I'm sure it will get better. In September I was having whole weeks of sleepness nights, but now it is just the odd one or two. Oddly when I have a nap in the afternoon I find it much easier to sleep at night!
Wow! I'm impressed with myself - I remembered what 3 people had said in the thread! Next time I will go for four!!
Jodie, how is the not testing going? I hope you keep your mind of things at the moment. The pink cm can be a good sign. I really hope you get some good news this christmas!
Gemgem, I am jaleous of your fabulous holiday plans. Even if you get a bfp there is still plenty to enjoy on your holiday. And we can not put our lifes on hold forever in case it happens.
M&S, I am so sorry you have to go through all that. I can understand you doubt you had a mole, but seeing gussies story it might just be that you are one of them that hasn't got the symptoms others get. I am pleased your levels are down again, so you might be able to start soon. Try not to worry about a next pregnancy, it will probably just be alright. The stories you read about are mostly the ones that are extreme. It is nice to see your topic in baby, a lot of success stories about pregnancy after a miscarriage. nice to know there are positive things for us to look forward to. Maybe it helps a bit next time we are pregnant. I am gonna save the link to the topic and read it when I am feeling negative and down again.
I am on day 32 now, still no period. Cramping is gone, same as the stabbing pains that are not that painfull, just uncomfertable. Was thinking they would be there till af would arrive, but everything disappeared again. Still not being able to fall asleep at night, which is annoying because my husband sleeps within 5 minutes and snores slightly. I have a lay in though in the morning seeing that oh is only going to work at 10, I am able to sleep till about 9. He is sorting out Michael in the morning and gives the first bottle and breakfast. Still I am shattered though and almost fell asleep whilst playing with Michael on our bed. (naughty me) MIL cancelled on me yesterday, so I ended up being quite down. She needed to go do stuff, I had been running around the house to get everything ready for 12, even woke up Michael out of his nap to get lunch in him (he of course refused, he hates it when I wake him up) only to been told she wanted to reschedule it to another day.
I sometimes feel I am not allowed to be sad because it was just a pregnancy, whilst oh and his family lost their grandfather. So I push it out during a couple of days, but than it bites me in the you know what and I feel worse than ever. Which than makes me feel selfish and horrible because they must feel worse. I had a nightmare about being kicked out at the funeral because I did not belong there :S Is it wrong to be a bit selfish now?
Sorry haven't been on much-trying to keep from obsessing. Hubby keeps looking at me when I switch the laptop on in the evening as if to say 'not BE again'!!!
Well, unfortunately AF came v early last week making me think it was an implantation bleed. No such luck. My cycles have gone all irregular, after being pretty steady for the first few months after last m/c. This time it was 25 days, so I think we actually missed ov time! Was 30 and 34 last few months.
Luckystar sorry she threw a spanner in the works & got you early, was checking the testing dates earlier & thinking of you.
Breighlin you still have every right to be upset hun, whilst the loss of your oh grandfather is sad they had the opportunity to know him wereas your greif is slightly different. After my first mc I was put in touch with the miscarriage association & they sent me out some leaflets which really helped me understand my greif (as I hadnt joined be then) the section below I found explained the sort of greif that a mc brings. Hope it helps you somehow.xxx
"After a miscarriage, you grieve for a person you never knew, and for a relationship that ended before it really began. You grieve not for a person who has lived and died but for an unlived life. You grieve for the loss of your future as the parent of the baby who has died. You are sad not just because of what you have lost but because of what will never be."
hello ladies, should be testing the end of this week, who else is (snooks and jodie right)? well i have a upper respitory infection which they thought was swine at first thank the lord it wasnt! brei- sorry about you bad day, i hate when you get all excited and ready and then the person cancels! m&s- glad to help you as much as i can, didnt have a paper n pen by me so of course cant remember what everyone is up to to reply, and im only 27yrs old what am i gunna do when im 80! hope everyone is well as can be.... big hugs coming your way!
breighlin don't feel bad about grieving for your little one. I've had a friend and a family friend die since my MC, and it's only natural when at a funeral to think of everyone you've lost, and your little one is the closest person to you that you've ever lost, and no-one will really understand that if it hasn't happened to them. Don't be surprised if you're very emotional at the funeral - if you are just tell people you always find funerals hard.
and remember we're always here for you, if family are busy with all this other stuff and not looking after you enough!
Oh breighlin, sorry you had a bad day, it's awful to be let down when you were looking forward to something. And you should feel like you are not allowed to greive for your baby,like gems says, if you ever need to let things out we are here for you.
Laujai - that really was lovely.
Luckystar - sorry she got you matey!
Gussie - i caved today i am sorry to say at 10 DPO and it was a BFN! (so sorry girlies, i know it was early)
I said that on sunday i had some pink spotting, well it was a tiny amount really, almost could have missed it if i hadn't really been looking. But today at lunchtime, went to loo and had quite a but of pink CM. Nothing red, but pink and thins stopped at about tea time, nothing too heavy, but was there when i wiped (so sorry for TMI or grossing anyone out) i had convinced myself that it was AF to begin with - even though a 27 day cycle is something that i have never had. Then when it tailed off i did begin to wonder. I know that it could be implantation bleeding, but i never had this in my other 2 pregnancies (son & mc) so i am currently quite confused? I really don't want to get my hopes up either. I suppose i would see in the morning whether AF is here or not, but it would be strange for pink CM to stop and then AF for me, normally it starts light and gets heavier withing an hour or so.
Goodluck to everyone testing this week.
Jodie xx
[Modified by: jodie13 on December 08, 2009 11:30 PM]
I caved too and tested tonight with a clearblue and of course bfn. I'm so disappointed. It doesn't look like December is going to be my month afterall. I will probably take some time away for a while, sorry ladies. Good luck to everyone and I hope that atleast some of us can still get some good news this month.
So sorry for the bfn's Jodie Blessed and Luckystar. I don't know how to console you really , but I feel so disappointed for you. Big hugs to you all.
I was so touched by your post Laura - that leaflet says it all really doesn't it? It really summed up everything I have been feeling.
Breighlin please don't feel that you have to hide your grief. You are entitled to feel sad for what you have lost, and no-one has the right to tell you any thing different.
And I'm glad it's not swine flu Kari, hope you get better soon.
Well yesterday I was in Clinton's looking for Chrimbo cards for our parents, and I saw a "Daddy to be" Christmas card. So there I was, in the middle of a crowded shop, with tears rolling down my face. I felt like such a moron. It's not even the sort of thing I would have bought anyway, but I suddenly felt so sad for what my hubby has lost. But I got over it quite quickly, which I wouldn't have a couple of months a go, so I must be getting better, thankfully!
I have always thought that it sums it up really as the greif we have is so different that's why people dont understand!!
Sorry for the BFN girls any chance it could be too early, maybe for you Jodie if that is an implantation bleed, fingers crossed.
M&S thats so sweet (the card) I didnt think they done that sort of thing. My oh nearly made me cry the other day as he was hoping that we would be past the 12wks mark with a new pg & that at xmas we could put a scan pic in our xmas cards for the grandparents!!!
I had my LA blood taken this morning, it bloody hurt!! USually ok with these things as had so many but they took so much it really ached after!!
I think 2010 will be the year for us all & this time nxt year we will all be in baby discussing what were gona be getting them for there 1st xmas pressies!! xxx
2010 will be the year for all of us. I am sure of it.
I caved in as well. I know there is only a very small chance, but I am now on day 33 (13 days after getting bfn for the first time, so not sure when I ov'd and if I did) and I could not wait any longer. I tested with a ebay cheepie, I know they are not the world, but at least it doesn't cost the earth. It was a bfn anyway, so still waiting for af to arrive.
Right girlies I am off to pack for our break, we have to leave at 4.30am!!!! So Good Luck to any testers whilst I am away I hope to return to a baby boom!!! And baby dust & PMA to everyone else.
cd6 today, no poas yet. feel like the AF has gone quicker this month, and looking forward to lots of bd'ing again. got hubby on man vits, and bought zestica for the first time. everything is ready, i just want to ovulate again!!!
Had a bit of a cry tonight. Had some light but red bloody cm and think that AF is defo on it's way. Feeling a bit down in the dumps, OH keeps asking what is wrong and can't bring myself to talk to him about it. I lose count of how may times a day i think about losing the baby and it feels like the only thing that will take the pain away is being pg again. It's a rollercoaster each month that goes by, upset with AF, exitement of TTC, the anxious 2ww, and then being unconsolable when AF arrives. I wish i didn't feel like this, but it feels like my life is on hold, was desperate to be pg again before xmas, as we all were i'm sure. Sorry girls for bringing things down, just feel so upset trying my hardest to stop the tears.
Sorry for the BFN's ladies! chins up though it's still early!!!
OMG M + S i was in clintons today and saw the exact same card!!!! so glad it was at the end of the day though cus it put me in a right foul mood!!!
Aw Jodie, it is def a huge and scary rollercoaster to be on atm!!! ur not bringing things down, thats what we're here for!!!! Will catch up properly tomorrow. need some mega sleep!!!! xxx
Replies
Gosh i've missed loads!! Babyluv im so sorry she got you hun. I think 2010 is the way forward for alot of us.
Breighlin I think the whole eating & sleeping thing is a way of greif, I felt like this after the 1st mmc, I couldnt sleep &spent half the night awake & tossing & turning with the most stupid things going through my head. You will feel better hun, you've got so much going on at the moment it's just trying to get your head around it all.
Sorry havent replied to everyone there's so much to catch up on & my Roxy is being a little cow at the min!! Will come back on when she has a nap xxx
Thanks Kari - I'm glad someone else had a similar hCG experience to me. I hadn't realised what a roller coaster you were on - it must have been horrid. I'm sure your next pregnancy will be the total opposite.
Gems (think it was you who asked) Yes, it really feels good to know my hCG levels are normal. I think I have been one of the more fortunate molar ladies.
Breighlin I think how you are feeling at the moment is totally normal. I also find it hard to sleep at night - I have such random thoughts and sometimes I can't stop thinking about all the worse case scenarios that might happen if I fall pg again. I'm sure it will get better. In September I was having whole weeks of sleepness nights, but now it is just the odd one or two. Oddly when I have a nap in the afternoon I find it much easier to sleep at night!
Wow! I'm impressed with myself - I remembered what 3 people had said in the thread! Next time I will go for four!!
Looking forward to a string of Chrimbo BFP's!!!!
GOOD LUCK LUCKYSTAR!
Gemgem, I am jaleous of your fabulous holiday plans. Even if you get a bfp there is still plenty to enjoy on your holiday. And we can not put our lifes on hold forever in case it happens.
M&S, I am so sorry you have to go through all that. I can understand you doubt you had a mole, but seeing gussies story it might just be that you are one of them that hasn't got the symptoms others get. I am pleased your levels are down again, so you might be able to start soon.
It is nice to see your topic in baby, a lot of success stories about pregnancy after a miscarriage. nice to know there are positive things for us to look forward to. Maybe it helps a bit next time we are pregnant. I am gonna save the link to the topic and read it when I am feeling negative and down again.
I am on day 32 now, still no period. Cramping is gone, same as the stabbing pains that are not that painfull, just uncomfertable. Was thinking they would be there till af would arrive, but everything disappeared again. Still not being able to fall asleep at night, which is annoying because my husband sleeps within 5 minutes and snores slightly. I have a lay in though in the morning seeing that oh is only going to work at 10, I am able to sleep till about 9. He is sorting out Michael in the morning and gives the first bottle and breakfast. Still I am shattered though and almost fell asleep whilst playing with Michael on our bed. (naughty me)
MIL cancelled on me yesterday, so I ended up being quite down. She needed to go do stuff, I had been running around the house to get everything ready for 12, even woke up Michael out of his nap to get lunch in him (he of course refused, he hates it when I wake him up) only to been told she wanted to reschedule it to another day.
I sometimes feel I am not allowed to be sad because it was just a pregnancy, whilst oh and his family lost their grandfather. So I push it out during a couple of days, but than it bites me in the you know what and I feel worse than ever. Which than makes me feel selfish and horrible because they must feel worse. I had a nightmare about being kicked out at the funeral because I did not belong there :S
Is it wrong to be a bit selfish now?
Sorry haven't been on much-trying to keep from obsessing. Hubby keeps looking at me when I switch the laptop on in the evening as if to say 'not BE again'!!!
Well, unfortunately AF came v early last week making me think it was an implantation bleed. No such luck. My cycles have gone all irregular, after being pretty steady for the first few months after last m/c. This time it was 25 days, so I think we actually missed ov time! Was 30 and 34 last few months.
Baby dust to all xxx
Breighlin you still have every right to be upset hun, whilst the loss of your oh grandfather is sad they had the opportunity to know him wereas your greif is slightly different. After my first mc I was put in touch with the miscarriage association & they sent me out some leaflets which really helped me understand my greif (as I hadnt joined be then) the section below I found explained the sort of greif that a mc brings. Hope it helps you somehow.xxx
"After a miscarriage, you grieve for a person you never knew, and for a relationship that ended before it really began. You grieve not for a person who has lived and died but for an unlived life. You grieve for the loss of your future as the parent of the baby who has died. You are sad not just because of what you have lost but because of what will never be."
brei- sorry about you bad day, i hate when you get all excited and ready and then the person cancels!
m&s- glad to help you as much as i can,
didnt have a paper n pen by me so of course cant remember what everyone is up to to reply, and im only 27yrs old what am i gunna do when im 80!
hope everyone is well as can be.... big hugs coming your way!
and remember we're always here for you, if family are busy with all this other stuff and not looking after you enough!
Apologies for missing so much! Babyluv sorry she got you hun.
xxxx
Laujai - that really was lovely.
Luckystar - sorry she got you matey!
Gussie - i caved today i am sorry to say at 10 DPO and it was a BFN! (so sorry girlies, i know it was early)
I said that on sunday i had some pink spotting, well it was a tiny amount really, almost could have missed it if i hadn't really been looking. But today at lunchtime, went to loo and had quite a but of pink CM. Nothing red, but pink and thins stopped at about tea time, nothing too heavy, but was there when i wiped (so sorry for TMI or grossing anyone out) i had convinced myself that it was AF to begin with - even though a 27 day cycle is something that i have never had. Then when it tailed off i did begin to wonder. I know that it could be implantation bleeding, but i never had this in my other 2 pregnancies (son & mc) so i am currently quite confused? I really don't want to get my hopes up either. I suppose i would see in the morning whether AF is here or not, but it would be strange for pink CM to stop and then AF for me, normally it starts light and gets heavier withing an hour or so.
Goodluck to everyone testing this week.
Jodie xx
[Modified by: jodie13 on December 08, 2009 11:30 PM]
So sorry for the bfn's Jodie Blessed and Luckystar. I don't know how to console you really , but I feel so disappointed for you. Big hugs to you all.
I was so touched by your post Laura - that leaflet says it all really doesn't it? It really summed up everything I have been feeling.
Breighlin please don't feel that you have to hide your grief. You are entitled to feel sad for what you have lost, and no-one has the right to tell you any thing different.
And I'm glad it's not swine flu Kari, hope you get better soon.
Well yesterday I was in Clinton's looking for Chrimbo cards for our parents, and I saw a "Daddy to be" Christmas card. So there I was, in the middle of a crowded shop, with tears rolling down my face. I felt like such a moron. It's not even the sort of thing I would have bought anyway, but I suddenly felt so sad for what my hubby has lost. But I got over it quite quickly, which I wouldn't have a couple of months a go, so I must be getting better, thankfully!
xxxSara
[Modified by: moonandstars on December 09, 2009 02:26 PM]
[Modified by: moonandstars on December 09, 2009 02:27 PM]
I have always thought that it sums it up really as the greif we have is so different that's why people dont understand!!
Sorry for the BFN girls any chance it could be too early, maybe for you Jodie if that is an implantation bleed, fingers crossed.
M&S thats so sweet (the card) I didnt think they done that sort of thing. My oh nearly made me cry the other day as he was hoping that we would be past the 12wks mark with a new pg & that at xmas we could put a scan pic in our xmas cards for the grandparents!!!
I had my LA blood taken this morning, it bloody hurt!! USually ok with these things as had so many but they took so much it really ached after!!
I think 2010 will be the year for us all & this time nxt year we will all be in baby discussing what were gona be getting them for there 1st xmas pressies!! xxx
I caved in as well. I know there is only a very small chance, but I am now on day 33 (13 days after getting bfn for the first time, so not sure when I ov'd and if I did) and I could not wait any longer. I tested with a ebay cheepie, I know they are not the world, but at least it doesn't cost the earth. It was a bfn anyway, so still waiting for af to arrive.
Speak to you all Sunday
Take Care xxxxx
cd6 today, no poas yet. feel like the AF has gone quicker this month, and looking forward to lots of bd'ing again. got hubby on man vits, and bought zestica for the first time. everything is ready, i just want to ovulate again!!!
Jodie xx
OMG M + S i was in clintons today and saw the exact same card!!!! so glad it was at the end of the day though cus it put me in a right foul mood!!!
Aw Jodie, it is def a huge and scary rollercoaster to be on atm!!! ur not bringing things down, thats what we're here for!!!! Will catch up properly tomorrow. need some mega sleep!!!! xxx