so determined not to ss but....

If I ov at all it was over weekend as I had ov pain on Saturday but never got +ve on the opk stick (but only cheap and I may have missed the surge) my alarm didn't go off on Sunday so my BBT reading was 2 hours late so that's not accurate :roll:


However this morning I couldn't drink my morning cup of tea LOL Now I know I won't even have conceived yet most probably but it IS possible!! When I was preg I was drooling at raw meat in the first few DPO but I didn't think anything of it as thought it was too early (All 3 pregs I have craved meat meat and more meat!)

I have such mixed feelings, of course like Rainbow has said I have the fear (OMFG I just thought hmmmm what's that smell... like burnt toast? Is it another symptom? Fuck me no! It's the toasted teacakes I was doing for DH PML) that I may mc again. But I also feel like if it doesn't happen now it's the end. I know people think I'm stupid but DH has a December birthday and hates it and has always said he doesn't want a baby around then so we have always agreed not to ttc if it meant nov-jan birth. That's fine but then that would take it into next year, I'd be nearly 43 and it's so close to his sister's wedding in July. She's been planning it since early 2009 so I definitely don't want to upstage her by having a new baby for everyone to coo over. *sigh* it's now or never for me.

Sorry for self-indulgent drivvle (spelling??) but have such a mixed up head today LOL no change there then :roll:

Posts

  • I don't think you're being self indulgent at all! You're allowed to be worried and fearful and lots of other emotions. Totally get why you feel this month "has" to be the month - my brother has a December birthday and frankly it sucks. I have to say you are very kind not wanting to upstage the wedding, but I doubt very much your sil would think you were! To be fair, on the day everyone will be fixated on the wedding, so my advice to you would be to be "selfish" and carry on trying. Note how I put selfish into "", as YOU'RE NOT BEING SELFISH!!!!


    xxSara
  • Awww thank you Sara that was really lovely ???????
    ooooh the facebook emoticons work here!!!

    Where are you at? I remember you!

    Blimey I ramble!!
  • Hi Seraphina,

    I don't think you're being selfish or irrational. Just keep doing the BD and stuff everything else!

    December birthdays are a bummer, but they're better than no birthday and the wedding is not as important as having a baby in the grand scheme of things. Your family would surely not see you turning up to wedding with a bundle as 'stealing a brides thunder'?? They'd be thrilled for you both!

    So my advice is BE SELFISH and have lots of sex, make a baby asap because ultimately that's what you want, and NOTHING else matters (or matters as much) xxxx
  • Don;t know where I'm at really seraphina! Just taking one day at the time at the moment. I do feel much stronger but still anxious about jumping that final hurdle.

    Good luck with the symptom spotting!

    xxSara
  • I was worried about having a baby in July/Aug as they would be the youngest in the year group. But I would happily go for any date now!!! Like others have siad I am sure your sil will not mind! You are not being selfish at all! Go for it sweetie!!
  • Thanks you guys! Can I just say that I was hoping for a September baby to be oldest in the year (and got one) and really didn't want a summer baby as they would be youngest and have to start school at just 4 etc etc. Well I got one in September and one in June... The Sept girl is a really bright girl and suffered horribly from being in the year group she is in! For a start her friends from Nursery started school before her and then she was bored at school and labelled lazy (this is still in the infants!) because she would finish all her work and when the teachers gave her yet more colouring to do she would chat and not do it... LOL It evened out once she got to senior school but she is in dance classes with girls at least 2 school years older and gets on with them far better!
    The June baby I was determined that if I didn't feel she was ready to go to school in September I wouldn't send her but as it turned out she's been absolutely fine and is in top sets for everything and has been from the beginning image
    Of course I ran the nursery she went to so obviously she just had an excellent early years experience PML

    Point is for my kids the oldest/youngest in class thing made no difference!

    I think I'm maybe using December as an excuse as the longer it goes the more i'm feeling like I shouldn't be doing it 'at my age' with 2 lovely kids already and with an insecure job (DH and I both childmind)

    Ah maaaaaan I'm confused!
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