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Anyone else nervous about planning no2?

Hi everyone

I have a little girl who is 14 months old and hubby and i keep discussing when we're going to start trying for baby number 2.

I'm really nervous about this becuase my little girl so far has been quite a handful and up to only 6 months ago i was really struggling to cope with her. She's not so bad now cos she can kind of tell me what she wants but between her being 3-9 months she could cry solidly for 5 hours per day, everyday and it scares me to think we could have another baby who could do that as well as my daughter being the handful she is image

I really do want another baby but it is a very daunting feeling for me. We're thinking of starting around June next year so dd would be maybe 3 by the time the baby is born.

Is anyone else in this situation?

Vicky xxxx

Replies

  • I am sort of - although my struggle is with worrying about myself, rather than worrying about another baby like the one I have. Ds is 9.5 months and has been fantastic. Slept through early, fed well, is weaning pretty easily and is always happy.

    I've had terrible pnd, which i don't want to repeat, and I'm petrified that another baby would put me back to square one. Also, similarly to you I'm scared that another baby might not be the same as Jak personality-wise, and that would throw my life completely off-track because I'm only just starting to cope with being a mum to an 'easy' baby!

    Furthermore, I had what might even be classed as a traumatic birth, and I seriously do not want that to happen again. I don't trust the NHS, I don't believe for one second that the people who looked after me would do a good job if I was to have another baby, and I am beyond terrified of history repeating itself.

    I'm content with Jak, but hubby is very very keen on another baby. I read a lot on here about ladies who are trying to convince their oh that they should start a family - it's the other way round for us. I don't think he understands what is physically involved in carrying/worrying about/delivering/looking after a baby. Not that he doesn't help, just that it's easier for him. I've only just got my weight back down, and if I'm honest I'm enjoying being able to wear all my old clothes. It is not something I want to repeat, and I know that it's much much harder to lose baby weight the second time round.

    So in answer to your post, I'm kind of in your situation, but I'm not quite there in that I really don't want to have another baby. It's too much of a risk for me. We're meant to be starting ttc in December/Jan and I'm dreading it. In fact, I refuse to let hubby near me at the mo because he keeps making jokes about getting me pregnant. Not useful!!!

    I hope you find a way round your feeling hun x x x
  • I can't believe I'm back in this forum but...me!!

    We always said we wanted 2 babies close together in age. Adam is seven months old now, which is when we said we'd think about trying again and I'm terrified!!

    Adam has not been an easy baby and I never feel good enough as a Mum. We are still living in London miles away from both families, so I don't have a lot of help and support...

    I'd love another child, but I'm not sure I can cope with another baby - if that makes sense?!

    xx
  • Hello Ladies,

    Our ds was six months on Friday and we start ttc in 7 weeks. I know what you mean about been nervous. I'm so broody that I hadn't though of the -'s. This week I thought I might be pregnant and I was terrified, but excited at the thought too.

    Our little man has only just become contented with sleep etc.

    I'm sure we'll all be brilliant when the time comes.
    Sam x
  • Yes I am very nervous about planning no.2! DD is 2 1/2 now and we have been talking about no.2 for a little while. We are not ready to start trying yet, but just the thought of going through everything again really scares me.
    I had SPD during my pregnancy and I am scared that will happen again, I also had a very painful labour and I am not sure I can go through that level of pain again, on top of that I suffered badly from PND and still haven't really got over that and I am very worried that it will all come back again. I honestly don't think I could mentally cope with going through the past 2 1/2 years again and I know that my marriage wouldn't last if history repeats itself but at the same time I don't want DD to be an only child and I really want another child.
    Its a very difficult decision to make!!
  • I think the scariest thing for me is that time will continue ticking, the potential age gap will only get larger and I don't feel any closer to being ready! I know there's going to come a point at which I have to just do it, and I'll have to deal with my own issues later, but that can't be good, surely?

    It really puts it into perspective, I feel as though my OH is trying to convince me, and that can't be a good thing. I sort of sympathise with men who end up being convinced by their wives/girlfriends to have babies when they're not ready.

    Any tips for speeding up the process of feeling ready?
  • My and hubby have just decided to start trying for No.2 in Dec. My DD is 20months so will be 2 end of Jan. Up until now i didnt feel ready atall, but for me it was because i felt guilty, like i am taking something away from my DD. I felt bad making her share me and OH. I do feel ready for another one now, well DD will still have another year with us even if i fall preg straight away in Dec, but i do sometimes get a funny feeling in my tummy and wonder if im making the right decision. I wonder if il always feel like this tho??? I think maybe you should give it some more time hun and explain this to OH so he doesnt keep bugging you. Im sure he'll understand. I was the one to initiate the convo about us having no.2 but if for one second hubby had said he wasnt ready i would have been totally fine - its both your decisions at the end of the day!
  • I av a 7 month old daughter and shes great a very intent baby. I want to start trying for baby number 2 soon
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