Where do I start

Hello Ladies,

I am new to baby expert and thought that this would be the perfect place to find all the advice I need. I am 26 and have been with my husband for 10 years and married for two. We have a 6 year old daughter and we are planning to start trying for our second child in May this year and quite frankly I dont know where to start.

When I was 19 I fell pregnant whilst on the mini pill (couldnt take the normal pill due to certain medical factors) and it took both my husband and I by surprise but we had a beautiful daughter in 2003 and wouldnt change anything now for the world. Due to the fact that I was so young at the time and wanted to build a career for myself I finished my studies, went to university and have a successful career in the police force, we planned not to try sooner for a child. We didnt obviously plan the first time around and want to plan everything (or as much as possible) this time around i just need some tips on where to start.

Also despite having my daughter I have no idea what contractions, labour or giving birth is like! When i was 38 weeks I was rushed into hospital in a terrible state and it had nothing to do with being in labour. I in fact had appendicitis and due to the amount of drugs administered to me my baby was suffering so the medical decision was made to deliver my daughter by c-section then remove my appendix. I felt very cheated by not going through the labour process and so this time around it will the first time for me really,
is anyone in the same situation?

I really want a natural delivery this time around as i had such a bad experience with my c-section and epidurals/morphine & pethadine but is this possible? I have heard from relatives that this is not possible but is that just because there were more risks years back?

I really am a novice to this all, please help me. :\?


  • Welcome GEG! Well done you on being in the police! Not something I could do myself :\)

    Lots of women who have emergency c-sections go on to have natural births the second time round, especially with the c-sec not being related to the labour; if it was a medical problem with the labour it might be different, but you should be ok.

    I gave birth naturally on only gas & air and it was amazing, so I really hopr you can experience it hon! I'm 25, been with dh nearly 8 years and married for 3.5 with a 15 month old son. Although we're waiting til may to TTC we're not being very careful now, although I've been too ill this month and he's away next month when I'm ov-ing so never mind!

    Girls on here are all wonderful so any help we can give we will image Best place to start is to learn (if you don't already know) when you are ov-ing. Some women can tell naturally through cm etc, but others needs to use ov sticks or charting temps (which hasn't worked for me as never up at same time with young son!).

    Good luck and lots of baby dust xx
  • Hey Garfield24 thanks so much for your kind words and reassurance that there are possibilities for me this time around. I really want to do it all with gas and air myself this time around. I cant wait to start trying and not being careful. My husband is suggesting we should try sooner but we should stick to our guns no matter how exciting it all is as we do have amazing holiday planned in May. Due to our line of work too, its quite stressful so it woiuld be ideal to start trying when we are both relaxed and what better time then after a break.

    I have a little bit on charting but havent really got the gist of how to do this. I wanted to not go too much into that if i am honest and just let nature take its course for the first couple of months. Did you chart with your son?

    Good luck and baby dust for you too XX
  • My son was an surprise! We've been trying for 6 months, but hubby was struggling to find a job so we decided to stop trying, finished off the month and I had my af as normal...I had all the symptoms of being pregnant but didn't think anything of it - I actually blamed my tiredness & sore (.)(.)s on my old mattress. Was a day late for next af and tested (I was regular as clockwork down to the hour) and was pregnant - we were shocked! Scans then revealed I'd been pregnant before my last af!! But hadn't done any charts or opks.

    Only decided to chart this time as we'd been trying for 4-5 months and nothing, but we've stopped for now as we don't want to have 2 babies with birthdays too close to Xmas! Silly I know!

    And why wait until after your break - perfect time is to start while you are away! You could call it a second honeymoon :\) would be very romantic!
    Where are you going if you don't mind me asking? Oh, and when you move over into the TTC forum I'm there as well! I hover between the two! image

  • What a pleasant surprise and i can totally appreciate what your saying about nothing two close to christmas, its expensive enough as it is! lol

    Its funny how things can change within a matter of hours. We sat down this evening and were chatting about when we will start TTC and we have put it back to October. Its not what we wanted but much more ideal now as we want to move house now asap and get that all ready before i am showing etc and become less able. We are looking to move for the summer now and then try. We had our hearts set on May but i can see the logic behind it all and we could do with as much space as possible especially if my daughter is anything to go by lol. Plus I dont want to move again after that for years if i can help it. My husband is already talking about having a large enough house so when the third comes! he doesnt want to have a large age gap this time and plus have the room.

    Theres me planning one and hes planning two bless him.

    We are off to stay in a luxuary palace in turkey. I know its not the maldives etc but it is certainly an amazing location etc. we cant wait.

    I will certainly see you on the other side i think i too have put a post in there. lol

    You will have to keep me posted as to how you are getting on. xx

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