Is this feeling normal - also on trying for a baby

Hi All

I am new to this site, heard about ti on YAYW and have been reading peoples posts for a few days now.

We are currently in the middle of planning/ttc and my hubby really does want a baby and i also do as well...a lot. However.......there are so many things running through my head which hubby just does not seem to consider at all. Granted, i am a worrier, a big one at that and i do always think of worst case scenario whatever the situation but i just need a little help/advice as to whether what i feel is normal or if it is signs that i am not ready. I am young but i do want a baby but i just don't know if it is a good idea to be worrying like i am.

So...worry number 1 is the birth......i am absolutely petrified, what if something goes wrong?? The pain-i am no good with period pains never mind giving birth. I worry i will get post natal depression. I worry if i do this will drive my hubby away. I worry it will have a negative affect on our relationship as i know having children can put a strain on these things and we have not been married that long. I worry there will be something wrong with my baby, complications etc and i worry i will get fat after the child is born and my hubby will no longer find me attractive and as we are young there will be loads of other girls young/childless and firm that my hubby will become more attracted to. I am not fat now (size 12-14) but would love to lose maybe a stone/1 dress size and worry i have no chance of this ever if i have a child.

These are just a few things i am stressing myself about. Are they normal? Am i been pathetic/immature.

thanks for reading if you got this far!


  • I think you're normal - but I'm sorry to say that worrying is all part of parenthood.

    I have a 16 month old, and was terrified about the birth until the day he was born - but to be honest, the anticipation was much worse than the event! There is such a feeling of not knowing what to expect with your first, but you can't know what it's like til you've been through it - and plenty of women have more than one baby so are willing to do it again! I also found labour a very surreal experience, like I wasn't really there - I honestly worried much more beforehand than I need to. There is a worry that something might go wrong, but in so many cases everything is fine.

    As for putting on weight, I personally think a man who goes off you because of weight you put on growing his baby isn't worth having - and I'm sure your hubby isn't like that anyway! I was lucky not to really put on any weight during pregnancy, and was back in my pre-pregnancy jeans 2 weeks later - I'm honestly not trying to be smug, just saying you might not put on weight, not everyone does - but if you do you can be proud of what your body is doing.

    If you want a baby, it is the most fantastic thing you will ever do x
  • thanks sunflower81, i guess no matter wen i do it i will av these worries x
  • Hi MrsT4

    I'm fairly new to BExpert and also heard about the site on YAYW. I worry too, more about the responsibility of having a life completely dependent on us, but also about what preganancy will do my body, if we will find it easy to get preganant, can we afford a baby, will it change things for the worse...the list is endless! I have to stop myself! So I think all your worries are very normal (either that or we are both slightly potty ;0)

    Are you thinking of ttc yet?

    BSteps x
  • Hi BSteps

    Yes we are, not exactly ttc yet but defo not been careful if ya get me lol i had to come off the pill as was having bleeding between periods (sorry if tmi) and doc said it might help and it has so decided we were just going to see what happened but since then we have decided we quite like the idea of having a baby so are thinking about been more serious about ttc. Tbh though, i am actually finding it really hard to have sex so much, my hubby works 12 hour shifts and i work full time and it is actually harder than you think lol

    Are u ttc?

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