advice please sad.

hiya ladies iv been a member of babyexpert for a few years now along the way iv had miscariages health scares and diagnosed with severe pcos finaly i got pregnant my little boy is now 1 years old his a wonderfull happy gawjus funny baby and i love him to bits and would love to have another so my lil boy as a sibling. iv descussed alot with my partner but his told me he dont want any more even though it was not too long ago when he was talking about trying again this year he says his too selfish and he would rather put all his love and attention into our gawjus lil boy please dont think im selfish or ungratfull as i love my little boy more then anything and it took alot on the way to have him and im so happy but have always wanted a big family at least i really dont know what to do my partner thinks if we have more we wont survive fianancaily plus he wants a career. you cAn still have a career and a big family me and him have had our problems the last few months plus i agree with him that we cant afford it YET but to write of anymore altogeather is extream its so upsetting really dont know what to do what would you do if your partner said nomore after the first? xx

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  • Hiya.
    I sort of know how you feel. I got very broody again when my daughter was 14 months but OH was dead agaisnt it. I was upset too as I had to wait for him to change his mind. Eventually he did after a lot of persuading and we started ttc when dd was 21 months. Over the 12 months of trying for no.2 he often changed his mind which left me distraught. Luckily though we had our gorgeous daughter on 5th August 2009.
    What Im trying to say is that it maybe too soon for your OH, he could change his mind when your little boy is a bit older.
    Im having the same problem again, dd2 is nearly 1 and im so broody again, it upsets me that we wont have anymore that I wont experience pregnancy again. OH is dead against it this time too and also worries about finances.
    I want a big family too but Im keeping positive and hope to ttc once dd2 is 2. well thats if I persuade OH lol
    Things always work out in the end! Good luck hun x
  • Im so sorry you guys arent seeing eye to eye over ttc. But as fiona says he might change his mind yet. I think sometimes having a new baby effects men more than we think. Could it be that he found the birth tramatic and isnt quite ready to go though that again? Or that he just wants to spend some time with your little boy? image

    He proberly will change his mind, a one year old is hard work, from my own experience i was so broody when ds was around 8 months old he was eating well and sleeping through, sitting playing nicely, then when he hit a year he was walking and climbing and i thought thank god im not having a baby, but now jack is getting older and we both decided to try when Jack is 18 months that way he will be 2 by the time bubba is here.

    If he said he wanted to try but went off the idea im sure he will want too again just when he feels ready and with a bit or persuation hopefully it will be sooner than u think!

    Good luck!

    xxx

  • Hi i know how you are feeling. i have a 3 year old and a 19month old so they came along close together and there is 20 months between them. perfect. only now i want another...............
    but hubby wont hear of it! we have a 3 bed house and a boy and a girl what more could you possibly want?

    only i believe everyone has a number! mine is 3. oh is 2. what to do? we have discussed it to death and got nowhere. he is adamant. however the other night we discussed it calmly again and he did say he will never say never. but not yet as he has just started his own company etc and we need to get it established plus my son is just starting school and we have lessened the horrendous nursery fees. so it will be again discussed when my daughter is 3 which is a year away. that way she will be going to school and i can be at home with 1 child as having 2 toddlers has nearly wiped me out lol!!!!!

    on the flip side we are just getting our life back and do we want to start again???? the logical side of me says no way but my heart wont let go. i want 3 kids full stop and that sound sooooo selfish even to me. i know i wont want anymore than 3 i just do i dont know how.

    so watch this space. i may come back to the forum in a year or so!!!! xx

    Hayley
  • i had this same problem with my hubs.
    in november 08 we agreed i would get my coil out and start trying but then he kept going up and down with yes he does not he doesnt. drove me crazy. not helped by the fact we were planning our wedding and my stupid irregular cycles!
    in august 09 i had my coil put in and still kept on at him. he basically said that he would never agree to another baby but if i wanted one i had to catch him out. sounds wrong and i was wrong for doing it!!! in jan i had my coil taken out again but yet again my stupid cycles messed up my plans. i had gotten to the point where my little boy was at school and we were getting our lives back together so thought it will never happen. was considering the coil again when all of a sudden i felt not right. lo and behold i was pregnant! total shock.
    i am now 16+3 and hubby has been amazing although he does get stressed and worry about how we will afford and cope with 2 children.
    keep up the hope hun i am sure if you leave it for a while and then go back to him with the pros and cons and see if he has changed his mind!
    i found that constantly talking about it to him made him want one less and less!!!
    leave ita month or 2 months and try again.
    xxx
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