worried pg - long story

ok ladies,

not posted for a wee while, as i have been tryng to cut back my usage of BE. we dont plan to ttc until 2011. in oct i was diagnosed with foloate issue too which ment defo no trying to ttc for a wee while. i'm on the pill have been for years. any way

in last month or 2 me & hubby havent been great lots of fighting etc, he's in a really stressful job & i think it has finally got the better of him. in dec during one of our fights he came out with have you been taking your pills, i was like of course, he then dropped the bombshell of "i didnt trust you to take them" now i admit the whole folate issue kinda scared me as i want kids badly, however if i wanted a baby like that i would have had one years ago. i was livid. financially we get by but we never have much spare cash, 2 good jobs but a large mortgage sorta thing so that is the reason for waiting.

things between us finally hit a point between xmas & ny, xmas this year was ruined by him basically, not that i have told him that to his face. we had a few major rows between xmas & ny where hubby turned round & said that he just couldnt cope (stress) & that nothing terrified him more that me getting pg.

so i had my break from the pill between xmas & ny - no AF, i have to admit didnt really phase me as every so often that does happen with me, had cramp etc. started back pill on 1st jan, i have been having cramp every day since aching tugging etc but no bleeding, the last few days its been getting worse. hubby was talking about it last nite & i said i was 99.9% sure i wasnt pg hence no test. however thinking about it i know i should do a test but i cant bring myself to. what if its bfp, i dont think my hubby would leave as such but i think he's crack. he hasnt been the same man i married which i know is stress but this would tip him over the edge i think.

sorry ladies you dont need to reply i just needed to get this all out.

have a yucky heavy cold too & cant sleep so decided to come on here & post
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Posts

  • very coincidental that you are bfp but you never know it does happen! it takes a good few months for the pill to exit your system but godluck with it all .. at the end of the day of it is meant to be and you love eachother you will work through it big mortgage and all x
  • Hiya hun, i couldnt R&R after such an upset/stressful/worrying post. The only way to find out is by doing a test - or better yet go to the drs. That way - no receipts or secret testing from ur husband. Also the dr can advise you if its side effects from the pill and a definate blood test.

    As babydust said - it could be fate to bring you back together with a baby?

    Hope all works out for you, hugs, H x
  • Hello chick, just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you...
    I know you must be scared to test but until you do you won't know either way.
    We are here to support you either way xxxx
  • Hi girls,
    I logged on quickly this morn in work & posted but BE must have ate it. I have no phone or net at home thanks to talk talk so on my blackberry

    I still haven't done a test, my eaten post said we weren't using other contra because I was on the pill, I was only on my bleed week. Just no AF.

    If nothing by weekend, and pain still here will defo test.

    I have a genuine reason for not testing hubby is traumatised enough at the mo & I'm frightened that even doing a test & it being neg will make him worse.
    If I did 1 in secret & it turned out posative I don't know what I'd say to him. Due my AF in just over a wk so hopefully she'll arrive.

    This obv being on my mind, as much as I want a baby it proves that I want to wait till next year as planned. I've been kinda freaking out & haven't told anyone - only u guys

    J x
  • Ok so I bought a test yest, tried to tell hubby but he was really down last nite. So I chickened out.

    Was gonna test this morn, but didn't my mum then called but ended up breaking down on the phone to her & she ended up coming over.

    After long talk I did the test, positive. Have spent most of the day crying with my mum. Hubby won't be home from work for ages.
    Don't have a clue how or what to tell him

    As u can tell I'm not over the moon, which.a few months ago I would have thought I'd be

    J x
  • Mrs norden,

    Just seen your posts, I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I'd like to say congratulations on your BFP but i know thats prob not what you need to hear right now. I'm glad your mum is there for you. Please talk to your husband. He needs to know. You've done absolutely nothing wrong just stay calm. He may suprise you. Thinking of you
  • Hi hun, sorry you are feeling this way am sure your hubby will take the news well and maybe this will bring you closer together.

    I remember talking to you on PAB when you first joined hun and remember you were always supportive so I really hope that you both find a way to work through this and you can feel some excitement in getting your BFP.

    Good luck hun and keep me posted xx
  • Ah sweetheart, sorry about all this that has been happening.
    Hugs for you, I hope you find the strength to tell hubs xxx
  • Ah sweetheart, sorry about all this that has been happening.
    Hugs for you, I hope you find the strength to tell hubs xxx
  • Thanks ladies, he isn't home yet. Totally shitting myself!
  • only just read this. i'm sorry that this is not how u imagined/would like it to be, but perhaps ur lack of excitement is not because u want to wait til 2011, but more down to ur worried how ur OH will react. i really hope that things become on more of an even keel for u, and that u can both begin to be 'excited' about this. have u told ur OH yet? i'm glad u have ur mum to help u thru this. ds was a 'surprise' too and altho we were shocked (only been living together 7weeks when found out 5+4, and had just moved country to do so) and weren't in the ebst position (finanancially, having just moved abraord etc) u manage, btu obvuiously only if thats what YOU want. i'm assuming u will need to see a gp at ome point to discuss the folate issues and the impact on this on that. but can i just say, what ever happens, u will get thru and altho i know its difficult right now to think like this but u need to put urself first in any decision u make, even tho ur hubby may be having a rough time of it, ur in this together and ur possibly feeling 'guilty' right now for even being in this position, especially with ur oHs behaivour etc lately, but don't, u've done nothing wrong, talk to ur mum and be honest with ur feelings and don't let anyone bring u round to one way of thinking of thats not what u feel urself, iyswim.
    chin up, take care xx
  • Siany thanks.

    He's just called he's on his way home, had a bad day at work, but sounds in an ok mood. I put a couple of bulmers in freezer for him. Can I disovle sleeping tablets in it lol

    Will let u know once he's told
  • Good luck, come back and update us when you can x
  • Good luck flower, let us know how it goes, good luck xx
  • good luck chick, xx
  • Well I told him soon as in door basically. He's distraught wants me to get rid of it

    Have escaped to toilet. Wish I could have drink!
  • oh dear! well done u for being brave enough to tell him. has he said why he wants that? it cld just be that he needs a few days to let it sink in, it wldn't be the first time a mans initial reaction was just that. how are u feeling? altho i'm sure u don't quite no atm how ur feeling or what u want, so silly question really. is there any way u cld escape to ur mums, give u both a bit of breathing space and let the news sink in? xx
  • Oh hun! Been following your situation and i'm really sorry you're going through this. I think your hubby's reaction is just his first initial panicked reaction. Maybe after he's had sometime to think things through he'll come round. You need to think hard about what you want to do for yourself so that you don't get bullied into making any kind of decision. It's a very tough situation you're in but you need to be careful that you don't get lost in the range of emotions and emotional reactions of you OH (or anyone else) and end up doing something you may (or may not) regret. Maybe a bit of space and time between the two of you will help you both to put things into prespective before you decide on your next steps. I wish you all the very best hun and i really hope you come to a decision that you are happy with. xx
  • Oh you poor thing - I don't think we have spoken on here before (apart form on one thread when you said you are also in Scotland) but I couldn't read without posting to say that I am sending kind thoughts your way and I really do hope this can have a positive outcome and bring you together after your recent troubles once your hubb's initial shock has worn off. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling but I do truly hope that you both manage to get through this and it will have a happy ending. Be strong for the sake of yourself, your bean and your marriage as it was before the recent issues began, and please let us know you are ok. Chin up chick - lots of positive thoughts coming your way. xxx
  • I am feeling much better I think the initial shock & the condition of my huby have helped clear my brain.

    Its him I'm worried about. No idea what to do about him
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