PND and planning a baby

Title says it all really!

I guess I'm at the stage before the planning, I just wondered whether there are any ladies in here planning another baby after suffering from PND the first time round.

A little background on me: Hubby and I have been together for a million years, we always wanted 3 children. Having had our first, I don't want to go through it all again, and I'm very concerned that I'll feel the same way I do now if I ever do have another baby. Hubby has been talking about 'the next one' pretty much since the day after our son was born, so I know he's keen. He wants as small an age gap as possible. It's definitely not on the cards until I stop bfing my son, he's 19 weeks on Thursday and I plan to go on until he's fully weaned.

Basically I'm scared that having another baby will result in me feeling the way I do now all over again. Does anyone have any advice on whether or not my feelings on having another baby will change? Any ideas how to help it change? I know I want more babies, I just want them to magically appear!!!

Em x x x

Posts

  • Hi hon, no longer in planning as am now actively trying, but I went through the exact same thought processes 3 or 4 months ago.

    I had horrendous PND after Rachel was born, but it wasn't picked up until she was 8 months old. She's now 16 months and we're in cycle 2 of TTC the next one. We've always been massively keen to have another baby as soon as possible, but I still struggled with whether I was ready to TTC again.

    I do worry about whether I will have PND again, but I feel this time around I know what to look out for, and I won't be afraid to ask for help - a lot of my problems stemmed from being afraid to 'confess' how I was feeling and admit that some days I wasn't coping, but everyone has been such a support that I think I won't be scared if I spot the warning signs developing with number 2.

    Health professionals will also be aware that I have a history, so I won't slip through the net as i did this time, and DH and family will also know what to look out for. I realise that despite all this, it might come back again, but at least I know that I can work through it and come out the other side feeling able to cope and happy again - I still have off days, but I feel a hundred times better and more able to manage everything that parenting entails than I did six months ago.

    I feel confident that we've made the right decision in TTC, but five or six months ago I don't think I was in the right place emotionally for it. So don't push yourself or put any pressure on yourself - give yourself space to come to terms with how you feel now. I wanted to wait until I was off my anti-depressants for 6-8 weeks first as well, just so I knew it was me that was on top of things, not the tablets.

    HTH, and my email button is enabled if you have any q's at all.

    Hannah xx
  • I suffered post natal depression after I had son - from the early days and only came off my anti depressants a couple of months ago. I am on month 1 of ttc and I can honestly say I am looking forward to having number 2!

    I am of course worried about PND reoccurring but to be honest I am now comfortable in my abilities as a mother - I know its going to be hard if we do have another one but I have confidence in me now and like hannah says - I know I can ask for help anytime - I don't have to just cope.

    Take your time - make the decision that is right for you.

    Good Luck

    Lianne
  • Thank you so much girls.

    Susiee, I love that Rescue Remedy stuff, took it all the time in the run up to my wedding! Doesn't really do it for me now sadly, but it's great for life's little stresses like seating plans and mothers fussing over ancient relatives!

    It's great to hear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know I will want to ttc again, which is a lot better than the way I felt about a month ago so I think things are improving on that front. I slipped through the net, so to speak, because my midwife never took my history - my mum had very bad PND and I recently found out that my grandmother (mum's mum) did too so it's a bit like a family tradition only not so great!

    I'm still getting the hang of the asking for help thing, but I am getting better. I think it's very reassuring to hear from ladies who came out the other side and are ttc.

    Hubby and I had a massive conversation after I'd written this post, he said he understands completely and that he doesn't want to start ttc until January 11 at the earliest so I feel like a great weight has been lifted. He was previously mentioning it about 5 times a day, you know, just talking about Jak's potential brothers and sisters or saying we'd have to think of another boy's name in case we have another boy as though all this was supposed to be happening right now. Now I know it's January at the earliest I can focus on myself getting through this PND ready for my next baby. I'm not saying I'll definitely get there, but it helps that it's not on the cards for a long while! x x x

    Em x x x
  • Hi, I suffered PND after my first baby, she is now 9 months old and I am now definately looking foward to a second child. When I was at my deepest darkest moments of PND there was no way I could have thought about a second child but happily now that has all passed and I am nearly off the anti depressants and looking foward to a second child. Me and hubby have to undertake fertility treatment for children and were hoping to be well on our way now but we have put all on hold as there is other things we want to achieve first and so are hoping to be pregnant Dec/ Jan time. It is always in the back of my mind that I may have PND again but I'm not willing to let it stand in the way of my life and wishes. I beat it once and I can do it again and that is my mantra!! I hope for all of us ladies who have suffered that it doesn't stike again but we are strong and fabulous and can do anything we put our minds too. Good luck with trying for a second child xx
  • Thank you misspolar, I know what you mean about not wanting it to get in the way of life. I do feel like I'm turning a corner with it some days, and then I can actually focus on wanting to beat it and not wanting it to get in the way of our plans for our family. It's good because I can sort of put the plans to one side and focus on getting through it and enjoying my time with ds now that I know it won't be with me forever. x x x
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