Worried about how things will work out with a baby?
Hi guys,
Just wondered if anyone felt the same as me or if I've over thinking everything?
We're going to start TTC when we go on hols at the end of the month. I've been happily married for over 2 years and we both think that the time is right but I can't stop worrying about work and if they will let me go back 4 days a week after the baby is born (my boss is a nasty - dare I say it bully), I'm worried about childcare as both our families live an hour and a half away, I'm wondering whether we should move closer to our parents but that would also mean us both getting new jobs. I look at some of my cousins who have children and live 5mins away from their parents and they seem to have it all worked out. I think I'm just concerned about the 'logistics' of everything and how it will all work! It's the one thing that is holding me back ahhhhh!!!!!
Any advice would really help
Just wondered if anyone felt the same as me or if I've over thinking everything?
We're going to start TTC when we go on hols at the end of the month. I've been happily married for over 2 years and we both think that the time is right but I can't stop worrying about work and if they will let me go back 4 days a week after the baby is born (my boss is a nasty - dare I say it bully), I'm worried about childcare as both our families live an hour and a half away, I'm wondering whether we should move closer to our parents but that would also mean us both getting new jobs. I look at some of my cousins who have children and live 5mins away from their parents and they seem to have it all worked out. I think I'm just concerned about the 'logistics' of everything and how it will all work! It's the one thing that is holding me back ahhhhh!!!!!
Any advice would really help
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Replies
I think what you're feeling is totally normal as I felt the same before we had our DS. My family live 45 minutes away, OH's family all work and I was the main breadwinner with a good career but working long hours with a total of 3.5 hours commuting everyday. I knew my job couldn't be done part time and I also knew I couldn't put our baby into childcare for 60+hours a week.
Low and behold, everything worked out just fine. OH got a promotion making him the main breadwinner, I came to realise that after paying full time childcare and my season ticket we would be not much different money wise with me working part time locally in a way that fitted around OH's work. With me not earning such a healthy salary it also meant that we would be entitled to child tax credits too. Don't forget you will also get ??20 p/w child benefit.
Like Helen-Jayne says, things really do fall into place. There will always be reasons to wait, you just need to focus on the reasons not to iyswim? It's such a scary thing entering parenthood for the first time. I used to lay awake many a nights thinking "omg, what have we done?" when I was pregnant but I have never ever once had a feeling like that again. I can't imagine my life with my DS. I love him so much. The joy he has brought into our lifes is indescribable and I really don't know why I worried so much!!
Good luck xx