Is it just me??????

Hi it's Mandy, feeling really down and I'm wondering if anyone out there is feeling the same way?

My little one who is now almost 17 months old and she is still alittle reluctant to come off the breast. She started to, but then she became unwell and now she is having real hissy fits if she does get it! I feel really confused!

Some advice I have received is let her do it when she is ready. Some people have said just take it away, but for me personally I really don't know as she is so, so contented with it!

I have mentioned it before, my husband and I do want to have another child and although there nothing really wrong with either of us, it did take nearly seven years to concieve her! I do think that stress plays a bigger part than I realised.

At moment my stress levels are at a all time high and if it wasn't for this site and my friends I would go mad!!! I just keep comparing myself to other families, as I have eight year old adopted twins who are driving me up the wall!!! I just feel like everyone can handle there day-to-day life better than me!!

My husband and I have had a few problems with stuff, but I'm wondering if it is me and my hormones, that are playing a bigger part in how I feel at the moment, I just feel useless and like alittle left behind at times. There are alot of people I know are just getting pregnant and I still think it is amazing, that people can have more than one child, when they want!

I have to go over to my neightbours house for tea, she is expecting a baby very soon and her 2nd child is only just one, she also has another child as well, I know it's going to be baby, baby talk, which is fine as I can switch the (I'm fine with all this, upbeat person on, when needed), I would like it to be my turn, but the timing every month, never seems to be right!

I am wondering whether it's fate or I'm just unlucky or it's just not my time! I would just like things to get better!

My husband and I have been trying to get on better, I think it's just me wanting a perfect or a happier family life, I just seem to shouting at my twins worring about my baby, not concieving the next one and trying to keep some form of happy martial bliss going it's alot to juggle!

I'm usually a happy person, but since being pregnant and giving birth my personality has altered abit and I'm not sure how to make things right!

Oh, my god could I go on anymore, sorry, but if anyone has any words of wisdom, before I give up on everything that would be great expecially the martial part, when it come to concieving and having a baby!

I hope someone can reply soon, need some inspiration!!!

Mandy XXXXXXXXXXX

Posts

  • Hi mandy, sorry you're feeling so down, all i can say is that i know how you feel tho i'm not going thro it now you sound alot like me when i was ttc and like how i feel sometimes now. I feel a bit overwhelmed at times and cry so easily now at the smallest thing. You sound as if you have so much on your plate and maybe seperately you could deal with each one but seems like everything is all mixed up, Is there someone you can speak to maybe a hv or someone cos gettig it all out in the open will help so much and then maybe you can sort things out in your own mind easier. Sorry if that sounds like a load of rubbish but i really know how it feels to want a baby so much and for it to affect everything in your life, me and my oh nearly split and i nearly went a bit mad, all cos i didn't talk about it properly and just put on a brave face. I'm happy to talk anytime x x x
  • Hi Mandy. Sorry you are feeling so generally down. Maybe it is your hormones not helping, have you tried Evening Primrose Oil or Safflower oil? I found it really helped with PMT.

    The thing I always try to remember when I think I can't cope when all around me are sailing through life is that you only ever see other people when they are coping. You see the perfect looking mum with her scrubbed kids and the perfectly clean Bugaboo pram, manicured nails and perfect hair, but you don't know what she went through to get that way, if she gets help from her OH, if there is one, if she's a widow, if she suffered ten miscarriages before she got her lovely kids, if she's a survivor of cancer. You just can't tell. There will have been people who will have looked at you enviously because to them you seem utterly content and clued up whereas they feel they are falling apart.

    Worrying about falling pregnant can prevent it happening making the whole thing worse. I took 15 months to get my daughter when I already had one and I was assured that I would fall pregnant again at the drop of a hat. Nil points! It wasn't until we were on holiday and we just chilled out that it happened. Relax and just have fun trying, that is the best advice I can think of.

    I hope you feel better soon, that life seems more rosy for you. The sun is shining, you have three children to play with, doing all those things you remember from long childhood summers that never seemed to end. I love the thought of creating such a childhood for my son and daughter, giving them those wonderful experiences that stay with you forever.
  • Thank you so much. I think you are so right Nicolette, maybe I see what I want to see!

    I need to relax alot more and not be so worried all the time! I am trying to fix one problem at a time.

    I do want to give up breastfeeding now as I know she does not need it and would like a break from the hormones (apart from the time of the month)to get some perspective on my life and maybe I might see things alittle more clearly and not be so sensitive!

    I should just make love and have fun and not view it as trying to make a baby and you never know what might happen!

    Sarah is it so nice to know that I am not alone with this and that trying can send you alittle mad!! I guess I am worried it might not happen as I am not the best mum in the world and my kids do drive me mad alot of the time and my little one is still not sleeping through the night and is really the boss of the house!

    Lets see what May brings as this is my fertile time, I will cross my fingers (although I am on antibiotics!)stranger things have happened!

    I will keep you posted!

    Mandy XXXX
  • Hi Mandy good luck and fingers crossed for you.
  • Your def not alone, if i can help i will. Speak soon x x
  • Thanks again, everyone you are all so supportive!

    Mandy XXX
  • here's the plan hun, 1st take this big hugs from me, your not alone, we all get this way sometimes and sometimes it's worse for some people.
    2nd, stop trying to give up breast feeding, there's no point, if your having regular periods and your ovualting, why bother giving up breast feeding. it's only stressing you out trying and tbh lots of people fall pregnant while breast feeding, my self inculed.
    take up some relaxation classes and have some time out to your self. have a dirty week end away every so often, pre mid mth and try to enjoy your husband and your sex life rather than foucsing on ttc.
    you will get there in the end, i'm sure. if not ask your gp for help x
  • Thanks Kristy, I guess you are right, it's just she has teeth at the top and it really hurts, when she feeds now and she seems like she is going to give it up and then she starts feeding loads it's wearing me out!

    I'm just want to give up now, I'm not worried about concieving, but I'm really tired!

    My husband and I are not getting on that well and I guess he blames the hormones and he is always trying to fix the any problems I have and almost treat me like a small child!!

    I am always there for everyone else and I don't mind that, I guess some people are taking advantage of my good nature!

    I'm a born worrier and I always will be maybe it's not hormones it's just who I am now I have had a baby, maybe it's not going to get any better than this!

    I think I should accept the fact that I will not be relaxed no matter what I do concieve, which is fine, I think I will sell all my baby stuff and move on with my life, my husband is really getting on my nerves.

    I also have a almost new Mama and Papas Twin Aria (double pushchair) from a bit of childminding I did for friend that did not workout (treated badly by friend)recently! It's only a couple months old, It has two lovely footmuff and a raincover that has only been used once! It is £250 to buy new, I will sell it for £190, it really is in brand new condition, it has only been outside about four times and never in a car or garage!

    If you anyone who is interested let me know and also anyone going through a hard time like me, it's nice to know that you are not alone!

    Mandy

    XXXXXXX
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