my worst nitemare!!!

hi everyone,
i dont cum here very often but for those of u who dont know i lost my little girl in jan this yr, she only lived a few hrs, i went into prem labour 24 weeks following an infection (chorioamnionitis), anyway my probs started with bleeding that just didnt stop.
well i am 21 +2 and was in hospital 2 nites ago due to bleeding!!!!
i had a tiny bit of pink discharge last week and kinda tried to ignore it , i know u can all imagine the sheer panic and terror i was going through i just thought here we go again!!! wen on monday morn i woke up 2 blood!!
well good news is it has stopped almost! i had a scan on my cervix which showed it was still long and closed and they dont know the cause of the bleed as i wouldnt let them do a speculum as had a very bad experience last time with a women doin it and im sure she done more harm than good. but am hoping its just a cervical erosion or something like that !!
well i was begining to relax a little and now im so negative again!!!
i need to be put out and wake up in may !!! lol
anyway thanx 4 listening xx
Lisa
xx

Posts

  • That must have been an still be so scary and worrying for you! You would think that after all you have been through, it would be your turn for a completely stress free, simple pregnancy! Were the hospital good with you?... If you were working have you been signed off? must be difficult to have had no explanation! Im sure it will all be worth it come may, when you have your beautifull baby in your arms... have you found out the sex? xxx
  • hi thanx 4 ure reply , yes my hospital have been good apart from one midwife wen i foned up triage to tell them i was coming in she said well theres a chance u mite be miscarrying at only 21 weeks so dont cum to maternity go to a and e!!! i had to explain my situation and i was crying on the fone and then she said ok come in!!!!...... now i know that at my hospital.. hillingdon hospital in middlesx that a and e dont see u past 18 weeks...... so goodness knows where ure ment to be seen between 18 and 21 weeks~?
    yes i work but work at home so not too bad,
    i have a daughter who is 4 and that pregnancy was textbook!! infact she was 2 weeks late!!! this little one is a boy! .. i havnt told my daughter (frankie ) yet.. as last time i told her after the 20 week scan and she was so exited and so dissapointed and hurt wen i had to tell her her baby sister went to heaven, heartbreaking!
    im getting quite a bump now tho so i think she will be guessing soon but im desperate for her not to know yet.. dont wanna get her hopes up.. especially after last week, was hoping to keep it under wraps till her birthday on 27 march ill be bout 33 weeks i think???... not sure i will be able to hide it tho lol!!
    well what will be will be ...... (keep telling myself that!)
    Lisaxx
  • Hi I'd been thinking of you as you'd replied when I'd got my scare of spotting. How terrifying for you and I'm so sorry there's nothing you can do except wish for may to hurry up! I'm really glad the bleeding had stopped, surely as this happened before and ended so horribly they will make sure they keep a good eye on you now even if it's only to help keep you relaxed!?
    Can completely understand you not wanting to tell frankie, we were fortunate in that although we spoke to zachariah about being a big brother, he was far too young to understand and so it hadn't affected him other than seeing mummy and daddy cry lots! I really hope you're able to hold out for her birthday - what a lovely surprise for her and hardly any waiting time too. image
    take care and try to be positive if you can, you bled and you were seen, they know your history and will be keeping an eye on you, I'm sure if they'd thought there was a problem you'd still be in hospital now. I know there's no way you wont worry but hope you manage to push past the worry as much as you can...... Look after yourself x
  • hi,
    i just replied on ure scan thread, yes was thinkin of u 2 hoping it had stopped!!
    well just been to the toilet and theres more!!!
    really dont know wot to do , im not bleeding major but there is blood there wen i wipe!!
    if i went to the hospital again they cant do anything exept want to look at cervix with a speculum which i wont let them do so i do feel theres no point going!!! im really hoping its just an erosion as i had one of these b4? and i know they are harmless?.but i have done nothing to disturb the cervix if it is one such as sex (whats that!? )lol... maybe i shud just have it done then maybe i would stop worrying?.. but im so worried it will make bleeding worse.... as im sure it did last time?
    what would any of u do?
    just getting so close to where it all went wrong last time!!
    so my mum has got frankie 4 a few hrs and im laid on the sofa scared to move !! scared to go to the toilet!! oh at work will be home by half 2 so will see what he thinks... hes such an optomist.. im such a pessimist!
    sorry to ramble on!
    Lisaxx
  • Oh lisa I'm so sorry, what would they be testing for with the speculum? If they're looking for anything that would be 'fixable' then I think you need to discuss your fears with the gp doing the test and see if it really is something that could cause a loss or not. I don't think they'd do it if there was a risk. Only you can make the decision but because you are so scared I do think they should talk you through it. Could you phone nhs just to get info while you wait for your husband? I know it's too early yet but perhaps you could also discuss premature c-sec options if the bleed will bring any risks, they might be able to help you get to that point. Good luck abd thinking of you x
  • they said they would be looking at things like a cervical erosion/ectropian (common in preg and nothing to worry about) or sometimes a polyp? either way they are not treatable so only point of having the speculum would be to confirm it was one of these 3.
    on monday nite wen i was in hosp they said they understood my fears and would in no way push it on me,
    wot do u meen bout the c sec? didnt understand that bit.
    foning the nhs is no good 4 me as i feel i know it all already lol
    it has stopped again now!!
    wot a rollercoaster .... hurry up may!! lol...... if i make it that far without being sectioned lol
  • Well if it's not treatable anyway then it certainly seems pretty pointless. I just meant when babies are at risk they sometimes choose to deliver them early under c-section as less risk premature than in womb but tbh from what you say it doesn't sound like an issue just very stressful for you. so have they said the bleeding isn't cause for concern then? Really hope it stops soon so that you can relax a bit. It's so unfair that all we can do in pregnancy is sit around and hope for the end, like labour isn't torture enough! Look after yourself and try to take it as easy as you can, I've got everything crossed for you x
  • Hi Lisa, I am so sorry to hear what has happened. I realise that this is a really worrying time for you and am thinking of you. Bleeding is quite common in pregnancy but I know from personal experience how scary it is. Keeping my fingers crossed everything settles down for you. George, x
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