Feeling quite down :-(

Hi girls, hope you are all doing ok. ?

Everything with bumpette is going well, Im nearly 26 weeks now. Emotionally the strain of all this worrying is getting to me now, and to OH aswell and im just feeling really down and not myself the last few days. Me and OH have been arguing quite a bit over silly things and we both know its because we are both just constantly on edge. Everytime i shout on OH, maybe for him to come an see something or whatever, he panicks and snaps at me not to shout on him like that because he instantly thinks something is wrong with bumpette, i can see his point but its really frustrating me. Arrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhh I just want it to be the end of august now and i want to know that my baby is going to arrive safely and without drama. I am so excited, we both are, but all the time theres this constant worry, knowing how easily everything can be taken away, just like that.

RaNt over image xxx

Posts

  • Hi CeilidhA, I know what you mean regarding how easily everything can be taken away from us in a heartbeat. The worry for me is absolutely wearing me down. I am a natural born worrier but I have gone into overdrive since getting pregnant again. I'm 32wks today and i've been told i'll be induced at 38wks, and I wish that was now!!!!!
    I always say I wish it was next year!!! I pray with all my heart that we'll be looking back on our pregnancies, and wondering why we worried so much, and probably will regret not having enjoyed it more - but thats only once we have our healthy babies safe and sound in our arms.
    Take care, Luv Kathryn xxx
  • Hi CeilidhA,
    Sorry I didn't reply to your post earlier, just wanted to say i hope you're feeling better this week?? I can see your OH's point too, but this is a frustrating time for you and him shouting is not going to do you any good. You're not much further on than me and i just keep thinking about how fast the last 24 weeks have gone for me, so the next 14 weeks will fly by!! I hope this is the case for you too. Feel free to come on and rant, it's what we're all here for. Take care and look after yourself xx
  • Hi girls,

    To be honest i had forgotten all about this post.... Yea i am feeling a lot better, must have just been having a few hormonal days, which have turned into an uncontrolable urge to buy things! I have spent way to much money over the weekend, not just on things for baby but things for house and a few things for me too! I have just checked balance of the account, thinking it would be about at zero and omg i have gone ??110 into the overdraft! Ooooops, Its so unlike me, I honestly cant seem to control it, normally im the one worrying about money and nagging OH to stop spending so much, not this week!! Dont think OH will be to bothered, he is always telling me to relax and if i see something i want to get it but i have gone OTT! :-S
    Hopefully i will get the hip grant form at my next appt and can use that to cover baby bits i bought, lets be honest, theres no way im spending ??190 on fruit!! lol
    One of the things i bought, is wooden white lettering for the wall above bumpettes moses basket/cot spelling out LOVE.... very cute.

    The weeks have gone by fairly quickly i have to admit but I know they are going to start getting a lot slower now. All the time in the back of my head im just so scared, breaks my heart to think i could get to 37/38weeks and then lose another baby. I keep thinking/hoping that i go into labour early (obviously not to early) but at around 35 weeks so that i dont have to spend the last few weeks freaking out and there is less chance of a repeat abruption. How bad is that! Why would i want my baby to be born prem???! But then i know a baby born around then with no complications has a very good chance of being ok, I was born at 35 weeks and home within less than a week. Wouldn't it be good if we could just close our eyes and wake up as our healthy newborn babies were being passed to us, no more worry, no pain, no stress!! I keep seeing mums with little todellers walking and a wee baby in a pram and it makes me feel really sad that in a few months that what i should have, my two beautifull girls, but I will just have one and even that isnt definate. I makes me so angry because i know for the rest of my life, theres always going to be that very special girl missing. Bumpette will ease the pain but she will never replace Darcey. But i know i will love her just as much and i want her just as much, to be honest i just need her here safe now, with mummy and daddy. im sure we all feel the sameimage xxx

  • Hi CeilidhA, glad you're feeling better now. Theres nothing like a good spending spree to lift the spirits aswell. Having said that, to date i've bought - well, nothing really. I'm 32+4 today and i've read on here that some girls already have their hospital bags packed, so i've decided i'm going to make a start, but just with things for me!! I've got so much of Ryans things up in the attic still, which is where they've been since last Sept. I know you need to take baby clothes, etc to hospital but I couldn't bare getting them all down incase I have no baby to bring home with me again. As the time gets closer, i'll go out and buy some things but I refuse to look at anything of Ryans until his baby brother is here, safe and sound to use them all. I have all the bottles, dumies and steriliser up there too, and really should have all that down, but i'm going to be bottle feeding, and i've noticed you can buy sma bottles of milk, already sterilised and prepared (like the one's the hospital use), so i'm going to get some of them for home so its not a mad dash.

    We lost Ryan at 36-37wks so for me it hasn't been a case of getting past a certain hurdle, its all about getting to that point, which is so near the end, and makes it so much harder. I feel exactly the same as you do. I keep wishing my baby would come early too, even though like yourself I don't want my baby to be prem or poorly or anything, i'm just worried sick and cracking up a bit!! lol - the consultant has agreed to induce me at 38wks, she was going to wait until 39wks but thats no good, I totally freaked out! She asked me when I would like to be induced and I said 37wks, but she said that would be too early, no point asking me then was there?
    I pray all our babies arrive safely, and we can all look back on our pregnancies and wonder why we worried so much, and wished we had maybe enjoyed them a bit more.
    Take care, Luv Kathryn xxx
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