Why am I depressed?

Replies

• Bunty1975

  Jun 3, 2008 7:58AM

  oh soda
  don't worry you sound perfectly normal to me! i have been like that - it's a shock isn't it to think you are making the family bigger by one - then you make TWINS!!!!
  it is so daunting... i am 35+5 weeks now - and i was a bit teary about it all for ages...actually i had a physical knot in my stomach for about two weeks after finding out there were twins - thinking
  oh my god - i will never cope.
  now i am just so eager to get them out as i feel unwell.
  
  i don't know how i will cope either - and i am worried about my lil girl being pushed out... i am giving her big hugs and feel a bit sad now she will have to really grow up fast. i have not bought nearly enough stuff - as i am having to give up work for three kids - i can't afford all that child care! and i'm worried about all the finances.......do i even make sense? today i am back to teary as i have pre eclampsia - and i'm so fed up. i just want to feel well and look after my lo as normal. oh well chin up - and carry on. things can only get better!

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• soda

  Jun 3, 2008 8:21AM

  Im only going back to work to get what im entitled to again if I not manage will get signed off sick due lots of holiday so will only be back for a short time, prob get a hard time as my friend who is pregnant is getting grief but stuff them Luckily severla other girls had babies similar time so been offered lots of bit and loads of clothes. Hubby gets to work away off shore every few weeks with his job and the money is good hence being bale to afford childminder for a few hours every week, and my friend offers to take him out. The only thing that sort of keeps you going is how lucky you are to be having twins, and if they are as good as my boy then i wll be laughing (or crying or both). Good luck think we are normal, what is normal anyway. Keep me posted, are they id, or non, boy or girl or one of each? Think 1 a boy, may find out more at next scan. Must go baby up to mischief.

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• soda

  Jun 3, 2008 8:21AM

  Im only going back to work to get what im entitled to again if I not manage will get signed off sick due lots of holiday so will only be back for a short time, prob get a hard time as my friend who is pregnant is getting grief but stuff them Luckily severla other girls had babies similar time so been offered lots of bit and loads of clothes. Hubby gets to work away off shore every few weeks with his job and the money is good hence being bale to afford childminder for a few hours every week, and my friend offers to take him out. The only thing that sort of keeps you going is how lucky you are to be having twins, and if they are as good as my boy then i wll be laughing (or crying or both). Good luck think we are normal, what is normal anyway. Keep me posted, are they id, or non, boy or girl or one of each? Think 1 a boy, may find out more at next scan. Must go baby up to mischief.

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• soda

  Jun 3, 2008 9:43AM

  Crilly, You sound like me speaking, weird, thats me I know i will cope I know I can multitask I do it know already, and although I had no experience of babies before my boy and not much help apart from hubby and a friend my little boy is good and happy and content (sometimes i think I do better than other people). thanks for your advice, just like me I already want to buy things and get things ready but am holding off until August when hubby taking some time off just need some bedroom cupboards, cot bed, got 2 moses baskets, and pushchair not sure what to get yet as my boy may not be walking thinking of getting double buggy and sling for carrying one baby in. Need bigger car, but that hubby job.

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• MERLYPUSS

  Jun 4, 2008 6:02AM

  It's called 'Twin Shock'
  It stayed with me for ages as I was so shocked that I had managed to get preggers let alone twins. You will cope. You will have days of feeling guilty because you spend more time with twin1 than twin2 and then the next week it will be the other way round. You learn to tune out the crying of one whilst you deal with the other. It doesn't make you a bad mum - especially with another little one too. Twin mummies learn to do things differently. Your best bet is to find a local twin group whilst you are still mobile and see how other mums cope with rounding up their brood. Most clubs have a Bumps and little ones session. I went when I was 6 months (still in twin shock) and a twin mummy there was a complete inspiration to me. She was so unfazed. I worried about everything. What equiptment I would need, the lot. She told me straight to just chill. Then gave me invaluable advice.
  If I can do it (with no baby experience at all) you will have it licked.
  Also in the days after the birth don't let anyone come around unless they bring a dinner or put a load of washing on.

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• soda

  Jun 4, 2008 7:23AM

  Crilly,
  
  Did you have twins in together or seperate, do they both fit in 1 moses basket, that why I was going to get another cot bed, although may try and borrow swing crib. Looked at Jane Powertwin was thnking could get one with just 1 car seat, put boy in front bit and carry other twin. gosh it is so confusing!?!?!?! can a newbprn go in or do you really need car seat attachment who did you buy your system from, been looking on ebay. Also Merlypuss no twin club nearby, we are 60 mile north of Inverness, nearest one bout 3 hrs or more away. Although a girl in the village had twin girls recently going to visit her again for advice, first twins round here in 9 years?

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• Bunty1975

  Jun 4, 2008 8:58AM

  hey soda
  
  hope you are feeling better today. there is no twins club near me either. but i am now thinking i don't need it anyway - as my single lo grows up i don't want her to think she is left out with no twin. so i am just going to go tot as many baby clubs for normal 1's as i can, and treat them as two seperate babies - NOT twinnies!!!!
  mine are non id - boy and girl.
  what are yours?
  
  i think it will be easier to avoid the twin cliche as they ae a boy and girl.
  i'm not being nasty to matching twins - which are lovely ... but in my situation with an independant singleton - i just don't want to specify two of my kids as SPEACIAL as they are twins. I want my 1st lo to know she is just a s speacial to me!
  
  i have been thinking about this all mornning.. and woke up talking about it to my hubbie!
  
  my newest baby worry is - when my hubbie is on nights i have to get 3 kiddiwinkles of to bed - arrrgggghhh! how will i ever manage that?

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• soda

  Jun 4, 2008 9:31AM

  I have been told one is probably a boy, reckon it is a boy and girl and they are non id i go along the same way of thinking as yourself want them to be 2 individuals although will be labelled the mom of the twins! also worry about my first born feeling left out although as he will still be very young he may not notice, and will have to label him my special helper. Luke my boy at chilminder this afternoon for a few hours just to get him used to not being too indepdendent on me as i have no family nearby. My hubby also works away now and then, im sure you will be fine you just find your own system, and when they little they dont always need a bath every night etc. Good luck keep me informed.

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• soda

  Jun 4, 2008 3:22PM

  Crilly,
  ta, driving hubby mad going on about buggy, but cant think what to do for the best, like the idea of the Jane Powertwin with 1 car seat attached, boy in front seat and other baby in sling. Deciision , decisions, sort of made up mind about other stuff, will get cot bed, as will need at some point anyway and borrowing second moses baseket, my son went into his cot bed and own room at 1 month as he moved so much in moses basket kept waking himself and was such a noisy sleeper. No you should keep them with you, till 6 months but he was happy in his own room, and settles to sleep straightaway. Do you mean like an open sided cot that attaches to your bed, would that help do you think, have the twins in that. Would like to have them in together for a while if poss. did you breastfeed?

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• riches

  Jun 5, 2008 3:58AM

  Just wanted to say thank you ladies! I thought i was going crazy, this is the 1st post for me as i just joined the site. I'm 25weeks with my 1st at 37 i do believe this is a little late. I have always wanted this and never thought it was going to happen. When i met my now husband he had already had the snip , two years this december he had it reversed (as a xmas present!!)
  I found out i pregnant on Jan 21st and i was just blown away. Although it has been alittle hard as i lost my job and we have had the worry of money i know we will be ok.
  So why oh why have i been so depressed???? This has been for several weeks now, and as my husband says i finally have what i have always wanted so why am i like this??
  I logged into the site this morning and see this posting and i feel so relieved.... i'm not crazy others also feel like this.
  I live up in the Highlands all my family are down south so it has been a lonely time but i'm so pleased that i have found this site, i know now that i have people to share this all with
  Thanks again girls X

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• soda

  Jun 5, 2008 10:52AM

  Riches, you are never too old, i'm going to be 36 when the twins arrived and have a 10month old son. I also live in the Highlands, 60 miles north of Inverness, and the same my family are down in England. Have to spoken to your midwife/doctor about how you feel? I'm lucky I have several friends you had babies same time and we spend lots of time together just chatting doing baby stuff which really helps. I think its just reality sinking in and everyone worries about everything when they are pregnant. Do you know if they are id or non. boy/girl etc. When I fell pregnant I was worried I was also going to be the only older mom, but in the village where I live there are lots of girls in the 35-45 age bracket with babies similar age. When you have the babies, try to get out to any groups, its daunting at first, I had a panic attack at my first group and even had hubby with me, but know i enjoy going out, have to where I live as we out of the village, and it is good for the babies to mix. So dont be alone the girls on this site as so helpful. Big hug xx

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• riches

  Jun 6, 2008 10:06AM

  Thanks for that Soda, it's just so good to know that others out there feel the same of me. I took your advice, today i had my midwife check up and i told her how i was feeling. She also told me that this is normal at times to feel like this. I thought that i was going to have to travel a 60mile round trip for my parenting classes but got good news today and i only have to go 12mile to the village, which is good hopefully i'll met others there. I'm not having twins only one, dont know what sex it is waiting for the surprise. Thanks again its good to know there are people out there to talk to x

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• soda

  Jun 7, 2008 4:54AM

  Glad you spoke to midwife and feel better, what part of the Highlands are you in (understand if you dont want to say). Hopefully you may meet other people in same situation at parenting classes. Things are never as bad as you think they are going to be.

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