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Giving up work

Is anybody having doubts about giving up work?

I had always planned to return to work after having the baby, unitl we found I was expecting triplets. Now, the child care costs involved are just too much, and I would be bringing home less than I needed to cover childcare. I don't really have a problem with being at home to look after the children, I'm quite happy not workinig as I've never had a high flying career mapped out. What is starting to bother me though is that for the first time in my adult life I am going to be totally dependednt on someone else, and to be frank, the thought is scaring the hell out of me.

It's not that I want to be self sufficient, or have money 'just in case'; it's more silly little things, like not being able to buy my husband birthday or christmas presents without him knowing what I've bought, or how much they cost; or feelinig guilty about buying myself something when he's the one working to provide for us all.

I have spoken to him about this, and he's being really understanding - telling me not to worry and things, but it is bothering me.

Am I being silly, or has anyone else got similar concerns?

Replies

  • I think my husband is actually quite looking forward to being able to look after us all but he does so much already - he works at a boarding school, so our house comes as part of his job, he earns more than me so is always buying things that we should both be paying for, he walks the dog on his own when I'm too tired..... I just want to feel that I'm contributing somehow - when I tell him he says that I've got enough to worry about carrying our girls and keeping them safe!
  • Hi crilly and Lowri,
    as for me, I havent worked since august 2006 it was when I went on maternity leave....I am thinking to start our own business from home which could be Building and construction work.I would do all the paperwork and my partner would do the job with his father and friends...but for the time being he is working as a removal man and its going to stay this way until my babies will be older so when they go to nursery I can work from home....Don't feel guilty about not bringing money home you are bringing up your and your husband's child which counts the most.We have children to bring them up not to put them to nurseries unless you are really in need of money...Me personally I wouldn't want to miss all that milestones that I can see when I am at home with my son....Dont feel guilty but lucky, some mothers can't afford to stay at home to bring up their children because they are either single mothers or their husband doesnt earn enough...Appreciate what you have...
  • True..... My mum always stayed at home with us and I really appreciate the time we had with her. It's justa little bit frightening because for the first time in my adult life I am going to be completely dependent on someone else, and I am quite an independednt person.

    I'm trying to come up with something I can do from home, that I can fit in around the childrens routines. Thankfully my husbands job pays well enough to support us all, I'd just like to be able to contribute somehow.
  • But then your children are going to be dependent on you...you share with your husband support...you can't give your children money but you can give them attention, love and you are bringing them up...your husband gives them financial security...I am not saying he cant give them love, but you know what I mean...each one of you has got a purpose....Bare in your mind that you are very important to your children as well as your husband...Don't worry, when your triplets are born you will forget the money issue that's bothering you....
    You can always get your independence back after your children gets older enough to go to nursery....or maybe the opportunity will arise from somewhere....if I were you I spend the thoughts on your children like ur husband said...Who is going to help you with triplets when they are born?
    Take care,
    Renata
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