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One twin being mean to the other


well Liam & Ellie are now 10 months and so much fun, BUT I'm a bit stuck on how to handle Liam's behaviour, if at all.

He's a bit more advanced in movement and quite strong. He pushes Ellie over or crawls through her as if she's not there, takes her toys or snack off her and is generally a bit mean!

I'll tell him NO and give back her toy/snack & give him his own toy or whatever, but do I stay out and let them get one with it? Sometimes she isn't bothered, but I don't want him to think he can behave like that around other children. Other times, like today, they were in the playpen as I was preparing breakfast and when she fell backwards the back of her head hit a plastic toy and she has a little lump and bruise now, so of course cried.

Is this normal? Any tips?

thank you!


  • all normal,dont worry she will get her own back :lol: mine are just as bad and there 2 1/2 they both give as good as they get and i always intervine,they need to learn what the boundries (sp?) are,sometimes i use the naughty corner as well
  • I have a similar thing with mine - Adam is so much stronger than Toby, but I don't think he is being 'mean' on purpose. He tries to play and wants to be close ( I think ). He will laugh and smile. Just hope it's a phase. Like You I say no, if he continues I will say no again and move him away.

  • hi ladies im stacey , sorry i'm GC lol.

    i find the best way to support children with this problem is to use positive reinforcement,

    for example when a baby hits their sister, you say awww be kind to such and such. and REALLY praise the good behaviour.

    i am currently work with young children. and if you reward unacceptable behaviour with attention (i.e the shouting) then they may continue to do the things you don't want. i also find going to the child who is hurt first helps, as this gives the message of oooh poor such and such, then turn to the other child and say oh look at such and such she's upset and make a sad face. at 1 yr old they wont understand the meaning of your words but the tone of voice you use and hte action you take will influence whether it becomes a game or a boundary !!!

    hope this helps, sorry if it doesn't xx

    it def needs perseverance but it works!!!!
  • Thanks for your replies,

    he's still being mean, he's cruising along furniture and she copies by standing but can't move much, so Liam shoves her out of the way. I do feel sorry for her, but it's a little funny too (though I keep that feeling inside) and I Love how well he's progressing cos he was my very poorly one in NNU.

    I'm loving watching them socialising at the different groups we now attend to and have to be on 'NO' duty due to their behaviour.

    Generally at the mo they are getting on and loving each other, playing chase and copying each other.

    Twins really are the best.
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