Forum home Babies Weaning

Feeding himself

Hi all

I'm after some advice as yet again my sil has made me feel like a complete failure as a mother!!

Cameron's almost 14 months and refuses point blank to feed himself anything, even finger foods. He'll hold onto food and play with it but it never goes anywhere near his mouth. I give him some type of finger foods with every meal to try and encourage him, but so far he just isn't interested. I figured he just wasn't ready and was happy to continue offering him the foods, but with either myself or John continuing to feed him the majority of his meal.

Then i happened to mention this to John's sister, apparently he's just lazy and has figured out that we'll feed him so that's why he doesn't bother. I could understand this if he had been feeding himself and suddenly stopped, but he's never fed himself, he just plays with the food and throws it on the floor!!!

I'd love to know what you all think. I really don't know what else to try, i can't make him feed himself.

Sorry for the moan, but this is just the latest in a long line of things that i'm rubbish at!


  • Dawn,

    Don't let anyone make you feel like you are no good at your job as a mum, that is not on.

    All children are different and progress at different rates. Jack was not interested in feeding himself and I still used to feed him some meals up until just before he was 2, whereas Charlotte was feeding herself before her 1st birthday!! That's girls for you!

    The one thing I did find that helped was waiting til he was so hungry he was really ready for his food, then I put finger food in front of him while the main was cooling down. I also gave him a spoon as well as me and eventually he clicked on to what he should be doing. It won't change over night, so don't worry if it takes a few weeks/ months he will get there.

    You are really sounding very down at the moment. Take care.

    Zoe xx
  • i agree with laziness! isaac still wont hold his bottle and hes 1 next month but boys tend to be lazier than girls! that is a good idea to give him some finger food whilst you are cooking his foodor waiting for it to cool down
  • Dawn, Please dont worry or think you are failing in some way.

    If your sil's baby is feeding himself, then great but like Zoe says, all babies are different.

    Katelin was'nt feeding herself till she was about 16/17 months. She was more than happy to sit in her highchair with her mouth open waiting for me to shovel it in.
    She fed herself only when she was good and ready.

    Infact, its a bonus that he still wants you to do it as you know exactly what he's eaten.

    I think katelin has done well with her dinner till I get her out her highchair and find loads of food in her seat.

    He's still a baby and he loves his mummy feeding him. Take no notice of you sil.

    Zoe's right,you do sound a bit down. What you need is a good long chat on pp one night!
  • Dawn the others are right, no one should make you feel like that. You aren't a failure at all! Don't know much about feeding as only just started with jd but i do know babies progress at different rates, my friends little girl is 1 day older than jd and you'd think that they'd be the same but she has 2 teeth and jd has none but jd is rolling everywhere and she hasn't even attempted it yet so that proves they all go at their own pace. Your a great mum and don't let anyone else tell you different!!
  • Thanks girls, i just needed a bit of a moan today!!!!

    Lucy - Her son is almost 12 and is just perfect!!!!! I normally just ignore her but was feeling a bit sensitive today so took what she said to heart.

    Claire - Cameron only occasionally holds his own bottle, i quite like still having him cuddle in to get his milk!!

    I know i'm doing a good job, he's happy and healthy and that's what matters. I'm going to persevere giving him finger foods with his meals, i'm sure he'll do it when he's ready. I really shouldn't complain, he's a great eater and so far hasn't refused anything put in front of him.
  • Dawn,like the others say your doing everything rite,kids will do what they want when they want,but its good he will eat anything,riley has become a very fussy eater and wont eat much,only tries new foods at nusery with his friends.
  • We have progress!!!!!

    This morning i gave Cameron some toast fingers while i made his weetabix, i just laid them on his tray and turned my back to get his bowl out the cupboard. When i looked back he was very busily chomping on the toast!!!

    Would it be awfully naughty of me to stick 2 cyber fingers up at his Aunty and say HAHA!!!!
  • Hi Dawn, I just read this post and its made me smile, realising how different they all are!!! I wish Luka would let me feed him but he's far happier with finger foods ie toast, cheese cubes, pieces of ham. But how much he actually gets into him sometimes concerns me. So I try to only let him have one meal like this and then one where I feed him. Im not sure if its laziness or not. They are just all different. What does cameron do if you give him a biscuit or something when he is just playing ie not a mealtime in his highchair? Luka is not holding his bottle either. Tate would at this age he used to sit and have his milk in his cot at 10months, but I think of Luka still as if he was more like 6months old sometimes as he doesn't do much!! Bless him, he will catch up I suppose!!!

    As for your sil grrrr that was v.thoughtless of her as you are a great mummy, Cameron always looks so happy in the pics you post so you are doing a fab job!
  • He's quite funny, he rarely puts anything in his mouth.
    He prefers to hold things and touch them, while going hmmmmm, hmmmmm!!!
    He's a very odd lil man!!
  • LOL Dawn.
    I didnt realise your sil's boy was 12.

    Lets all stick up 2 cyber fingers to her (oops! she dont come on here does she?)
  • Oh god no!!!!

    She's got far more important things to do, no time to chat!!
    Unless it's to give me her advice, she's always got plenty of time for that!!
  • I think Cameron looks gorgeous!!! She's probably jealous you have such a gorgeous little boy!
  • Yay, well done Cameron and a up yours to your sil (oops that slipped out)
  • Hehe, thanks girls!!!

    The little devil fed himself some of his sandwich at lunchtime today too, i'm not telling her though. She'll think it's all down to her!!
  • Dawn i somehow missed this post. I am glad you are feeling happier about Cameron eating now. Personally i really wouldnt worry, he is a happy healthy boy and is very much loved. So i think you are doing a fantastic job.
    I think sometimes if people kept their opinions to themselves then it would be so much better. I do feel sorry for that 12 year old having such a stuck up mother though. Surely she must realise that kids progress at different rates.

    Hope you are ok xx
  • Hello Dawn,
    I just want to tell you that Seif too has no interest in feeding himself. He will put anything he finds in his mouth, tv remote, toys, gadgets etc... but when I give him finger foods he just plays with it and looks at me. I was very concerned but when I asked a few friends they told me to give him time and he'll feed himself when he's ready.
    so please don't despair, I'm sure Cameron will come around soon.
    Best of luck
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions