Feeling down after failing ttc
so after 2& half years of ttc me and my partner are feeling very disheartened. We both want a baby so badly, I know for some people 2&half years is nothing but It feels like such a long time. Constantly trying for a baby and then sitting in the bathroom every month dreading to look at the stick, then hoping no period comes so we can test again and with every negative result there’s more pain and more of a fed up feeling. Sometimes my body Can be so cruel and I’ll be a week or two late for my period and then we will test everyday for the whole time, each time getting a negative result, then one morning I’ll get my period and ill Sit and cry for hours... now all my friends have babies and my family members Have babies... this sounds horrible but I look at people and I hate them, I don’t understand what they did to deserve a baby when I’m trying everything and getting no where. My one friend has a 2yr old and she doesn’t have much time for him, she’s always busy doing things and leaving him with whoever is available, and she has just announced she is pregnant with twins. It grieves me so much. I sit at home watching tv and the pampers adverts come on and that’s it i well up and start crying, if someone comes into work with their child I get emotional just watching how sweet and clever their babies are... my Younger siblings are constantly asking me when I’ll have a baby because they’d love to have a niece or nephew and I’m lying to everyone, I say oh I’m not ready yet or no we’ve decided we dont have the funds for children or we just haven’t spoke about kids yet. The last thing I want to tell anyone is ’oh I’m a defective human who will never be a mommy’, even writing this I’m in tears.
Why cant I be like the majori of couples who accidentally get pregnant 😞