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Feeling down after failing ttc

so after 2& half years of ttc me and my partner are feeling very disheartened. We both want a baby so badly, I know for some people 2&half years is nothing but It feels like such a long time. Constantly trying for a baby and then sitting in the bathroom every month dreading to look at the stick, then hoping no period comes so we can test again and with every negative result there’s more pain and more of a fed up feeling. Sometimes my body Can be so cruel and I’ll be a week or two late for my period and then we will test everyday for the whole time, each time getting a negative result, then one morning I’ll get my period and ill Sit and cry for hours... now all my friends have babies and my family members Have babies... this sounds horrible but I look at people and I hate them, I don’t understand what they did to deserve a baby when I’m trying everything and getting no where. My one friend has a 2yr old and she doesn’t have much time for him, she’s always busy doing things and leaving him with whoever is available, and she has just announced she is pregnant with twins. It grieves me so much. I sit at home watching tv and the pampers adverts come on and that’s it i well up and start crying, if someone comes into work with their child I get emotional just watching how sweet and clever their babies are... my Younger siblings are constantly asking me when I’ll have a baby because they’d love to have a niece or nephew and I’m lying to everyone, I say oh I’m not ready yet or no we’ve decided we dont have the funds for children or we just haven’t spoke about kids yet. The last thing I want to tell anyone is ’oh I’m a defective human who will never be a mommy’, even writing this I’m in tears. 

Why cant I be like the majori of couples who accidentally get pregnant 😞

Replies

  • Oh Mel, I'm so sorry ☹ so many people aren't happy with pregnancies and you have to wait for so long. So unfair ☹ have you been to fertility clinic? Did they said anything?

  • I want to go but I’m too scared, I don’t know what I’d do if the news was bad... I keep saying ‘ okay I’ll book an appointment and go this time’ then when the day comes I can’t do it. its one thing struggling and having problems ttc and then there’s alway a chance of being Infertile, that scares me to death

  • That must be very hard for you :( I do understand that. But you should know that none of this is your fault. Or your husbands. Did you try everything? Opks, fertility gels, vitamins etc?

    You know that there might be some hormonal imbalance that is very easy to be treated? And also if there is really something really bad usually it doesn't rule out IVF (I'm not sure how you'd feel about that)?

  • Melcookies, go and see your GP. You are more than entitled now for them to do tests and refer you if necessary. In the mean time, keep trying, relax and have a bit of fun. then if AF still arrives month by month at least you will have the ball rolling my doing tests etc. Chin up, it is such a rollercoaster and I never new it would be so hard xxx

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