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Been told i need to loose weight

Hi everyone im abit nervous as i dont really have anyone to talk to about this well i do but no one around me has gone through the heart ache of not being able to get pregnant just like that! Me and my husband have been tested etc and everything is normal. My womb is fine everything normal. Apart from my periods arnt every month ( i was tested for pcso but it came back clear) so they have put it down to weight and that i should loose 3 stone before they help us IF we need help if i lost the weight! But what annoys me and makes me think it cant be just about weight because i know people who are alot alot bigger than me who are pregnant or just had a baby and i think to myself why am i told to loose weight when they havnt etc. im starting to think yes it wont help the weight but is it because im a Worryier and stress alot about things etc and its easy for people to say stop stressing etc but that doesnt help haha. We started trying after are wedding which was 11 years ago this year. Was told about my weight in the last 2/3 years. My husband family know the issues we have but yet continue to ask when we are having a baby that crushes me every time. I just want to know if i lost the weight would it happen? Would i get my miracle baby? I know no one could tell me 100% but it would be so nice to chat to someone who maybe been through similar tests that have been fine etc and stil no baby. This is what i was born to do! Im a mum without a baby and it hurts! Thanks for who ever has read this! I feel your pain i honestly do and i hope we all get that beautiful baby so so soon! Thanks! Xx

Replies

  • @Martine1989 I'm so sorry you're going through this! I was told to lose weight to be able to get a referral for fertility treatment back in 2016. I did lose the weight and get the referral, had 3 failed cycles of IUI, was about to start IVF  but got pregnant naturally, lost that one but got pregnant straight away again and had a successful pregnancy in 2019 and I have just had my second. I didnt have any difficulty losing the weight because ultimately I wanted a baby more than I wanted the cake, crisps, chocolate etc! I used the miscarriage to make myself the fittest version of myself. Losing weight isn't going to guarantee a pregnancy but you will be fitter and healthier for your baby if it does happen!
  • Omg thankyou so much for replying to me! I just needed to speak to someone who had to loose weight and actually become pregnant! I know me stressing about things wont help etc but to know you got your baby at the end of it is amazing but also sorry for your loss! This means everything to me! Thankyou soooo much! Xx
  • This feels so relatable, and thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly. When people say don't stress, just relax, ugghhhh makes me so angry. I have also been told to lose weight, so I'm doing it by going to a nutritionist. Hope it works out for us. All the best
    xx
  • Yes it doesnt help at all! And its so hard not having anyone to talk to this about. Well i talk to my husband and mum but my mum cant relate because she got pregnant 3 times when ever she planned it. And having my husbands family question me EVERY TIME i see them about babies doesnt help me at all! I have seen alot of instagram accoubts very open about them trying for a baby ivf etc but that isnt me i actually feel so ashamed of my body like its lettibg me down. I dobt want the pity! So being on here with people who have similar stories and positive outcomes has helped alot!!! And i really hope we all get that beautiful healthy baby at the end of this hard journey we are all on!!!! Xx
  • I wish I could do or say something that could make you get rid of the shame you feel, but I know it's so much deeper. You're doing the best you can, we all are. 

    Oh no, when does your husband's family know what you're going through? It's quite insensitive I can't imagine being put on the spot like that. I'm so sorry. 
    But yes, these forums are quite a game changer. I cant even think about what they used to do before the internet. must have felt even lonelier.
    ahhh i hope so too! sending lots of good vibes.
    all the best
    xx


  • Its mainly his brother every time without fail. Breaks me every time! I try block it out but it is sooooo hard. I would do anything to just become pregnant  :'( but positive thoughts going forward and hopefully it will all work out.. for everyone of us!!!!! Xx
  • Maybe your husband can have a conversation with him or do you not want to bring attention to it? Also how are you doing with losing weight? have you found any diet or tip that's making it easier?

    xx
  • He has. He txt him and actually said it infront of me that it makes us both upset. All he says is he wants to be an uncle! And im like do you not think we want to be mum and dad more than you wanting to be a uncle! Frustrating!!! If im honest it isnt going well at all! Thats why i came on here to get peoples opinion on the loosing weight etc and if it would help! To me in my mind im not a huge lady yeah i could do with loosing weight but compared to my mums friend who is alot bigger than me ( 8 stone heavier ) and she had 2 babies in last 4 years! So i keep putting it down to me stressing and worrying about everything lets face it covid didnt help lol certainly didnt help me at all. But to see people writing they lost weight and became pregnant has really boosted me to try harder! I know its not a guarentee but loosing the weight will also help me wont it i will be alot healthier etc! I do tend not to use the word diet because that just puts me off altogether haha i have lost 1 stone. 2 more to go. And i only have a treat on a ssturday you know like a takeaway or chocolate etc. dont get me wrong sometimes during week we might have takeaway and i do daily walks and a dvd etc. i think i just needed that boost to know that there is actually light at the end of the tunnel and it is brighter than i thought! I really appreciate the people who replied to me! Means alot!! Xx
  • You're right! The word diet can be triggering for some, however I use the word as a diet in general (not the ones to lose weight necessarily ) like the Mediterranean diet! I also need to lose some weight before IVF so i've been going to a nutritionist who analyzed how my body's metabolism works and all the percentages and stuff so he created a meal plan based on what i already eat just with different portions! this has helped me a lot but i understand if it sounds stressful. just a thought though! 

    These forums are so helpful, i totally agree. Especially when you hear positive feedback, it can change your whole mental state! 
    wishing you all the best on your journey!!
    xx
  • Yeah i called my mum today and just burst into tears that finally i have found people who know what its like to go through this! I literally sent her a voice note saying its totally changed my mind set! Im more determined than ever! And its thanks to all of you who have commented and replied to me! It really means alot! And yes thankyou my doctor has put me intouch with nutritionist xx
  • Honestly that makes me so happy that you also feel this way! So glad to hear about the nutritionist too! Make sure to share any good tips! I will also!
    best of luck
    xx
  • I will!!!!! Thankyou!! Xx
  • Hi everyone does anyone have any tips or anything that has worked for them to stop stressing and relax and stop over thinking? With everything going on in the world at the moment its stressing me out and all i do is worry and i dont want to be like this anymore. I want a healthy body and mind to carry a child. Thanks in advance xx
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