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WDYT?
Ex asked at the end of July if he could have the kids Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of next week. I said sure what times and where was he going to pick them up from? (HE isn't allowed to come to our house).
At what stage would you contact him to ask him for more information? Or would you just leave it until it gets to Wednesday and if he hasn't given any information just do something with the kids?
I haven't told the kids about seeing him because he has let them down in the past.
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I'd maybe ask if he still wants to take them and if so, could he let you know where and when. If you still don't hear from him, then I'd make plans. If he has let the kids down before, I'd be apprehensive about telling them until the last minute.
I'd contact him and ask once but not pursue it beyond that, and agree with RKB about not telling them until the last minute.
I would ask now. If he is not picking them up from your house then he needs to give you notice of where and what time so you can arrange to get there.
I've emailed him this:
'Are you still planning to see the children as you haven't mentioned it again. If so can you give me more information about what time you are picking them up.'
This was his response:
'Yes I am still having them. Not sure what I'm doing until I've checked the weather forecast.'
Is the weather going to affect the road and time he collects them? If not then there's no reason why he can't give you that information.
This is exactly what I thought<sigh> Plus you can see weather reports for the end of August if you want to. Next week really is't tha far away. It is just another excuse to pee me about.
Does he need to tell you what he's doing? I don't know your circs but is the time and date enough to facilitate a handover?
Urgh. We get this with stepsons mum. She actually turned up for him last weekend and expected to take him without giving us a return time!
I'd go back and say you are making plans yourself and suggest pick up and drop off times, make it clear you aren't sitting around the house for him to return them whenever he fancies
Counter, that's the problem. He won't give QI a time or location to drop the kids off.
QI - I get the feeling he's being vague deliberately so he can cancel at the last minute. I'd be tempted to make plans so when he doesn't get back to you, but least it's not a wasted day!
Right I'm going to make 'secret' plans to do things with the kids just in case but it does wazz me off because if he is going to have the kids I would like to arrange to do something myself. He does this so I can't make any plans for myself.
Ohhh, didn't see there wasn't an actual time! Sorry.
I'd be saying I have things to do and if no time is given the kids will be coming with me and therefore unavailable. Easy to say though. I hate all this crap that some parents have to go through
Can you ask a family or friend who knows your situation to be on stand by so that if/when he decides to cancel, you can still do something yourself?
Completely understand why it p** you off. I think make plans for if he has kids and a plan for if he doesn't. Maybe if you can face dealing with him any more than the bare minimum say I needto know by X time monday otherwise you will be busy doing something else (or is that making it to easy to cancel?)
He has just emailed me with this:
'Can't remember if you said where I was going to pick the kids up on Wed - Fri but if it's near you can I pick them up around 9am each day?'
It makes it sound as if I am the one dragging my feet over it all!
How fustrating but at least it looks like he may pick the kids on the three days. Hope you manged to get it all sorted.