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Miscarriage, sperm and obesity concerns? :\(

Basically, I got pregnant after 3 months of trying in January 2009 but lost my bean at just over 4 weeks. I was devastated and still get upset now, however, that is a different story.

We recently started ttc again after a years wait (we were getting married so decided to wait). Anyway, we have been trying for the past 3 months but nothing is happening, and yes I know it isn't a long time to be trying, but I have convinced myself that my husband's weight is affecting his sperm. He is at least 12 stone over weight. He is trying to lose weight but it is hard work and slow progress, and he is taking father-to-be vitamins as well, but I have convinced myself that his sperm are lazy and abnormal, and that is why I miscarried, and that it will be impossible to get pregnant again. I know I shouldn't blame his sperm and I feel bad, but to be fair, for the last year I have blamed myself for the miscarriage and have basically convinced myself that I would keep miscarrying. I suppose I still need closure for the miscarriage but I know that the only thing that will give me that closure is a baby.

I want advice but not sure what for???? x


  • PS. I would never openly say these things to hubby.
  • hi sorry to hear your story my hubby is also very overweight 22 stones and 5 ft 4 i have got pregnant 3 times by him we have two little boys 5 and 3 and iv just had a misscarriage so it can be done he too is trying to lose weight but as you said its a slow progress i just wanted you to have some hope i hope you have a sticky bean soon
  • Hi hun,

    I know plenty of people who are overweight or with partners who are overweight and they have healthy children. Although weight can be an issue I think as long as he's trying to lose weight then that's a good thing.

    Please don't blame yourself for your mc, most of the time its a genetic abnormality that cannot be avoided. Keep trying and there's a good chance when you get your bfp, all will be fine!
  • My DH is super fit; he plays hockey, runs, has perfect BMI and has a really healthy diet. He takes wellman supplements, eats Brazil nuts, has stopped cycling, doesn't use a laptop on his lap, wears loose fitting boxers, no hot baths etc. etc and at the last count, he had 20 million sperms but only 2% were normal and the motility was poor (not very good swimmers).

    The chances of getting preg for us is soooooo tiny and yet we've caught 3 times in the last 12 months - Sadly all miscarried but still, we got preg and the point of all this is.... It had nothing to do with DH's health - It's just one of those random crappy things life throws at us.

    We will get our baby and so will you. It's easy to feel negative towards your partner. Infertility is such a major thing and puts strain on the strongest of relationships. I have had moments were I have totally resented my DH, but the truth is, it's not him I resent it's the infertility. Stick together, when you're going through a tough time you need each other more than ever!

    Good luck xxx
  • Thank you for your kind replies and words of wisdom. I love my partner to death and I know I am being unreasonable. I guess the whole ttc thing is so stressful that I am becoming completely overwhelmed by it. You have really reassured me and made me feel alot better.

    Good luck to everybody xxx
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