feel awful for even thinking this!!

HannahBelle1979 · Jul 21, 2011 2:04PM

hey ladies,

feel proper bad thinking this but just need to get this out n some feedback would be much appreciated.

i found out last night that one of my best friends had a miscarriage only recently. i feel so sorry for her. i was told by my other friend and am not supposed to know so can't pass on my sympathy to her. the thing that i feel bad about tho is that even tho shes going through this heart break, my initial thought was pure jealousy that she was actually pregnant to begin with! i felt so bitter!!! and now that i've got past that nasty feeling i think karma is gonna get me for thinking such evil thoughts!

am i a nasty person??

mummytolily-ella · Jul 15, 2011 2:49PM

its probably just because u want a baby so much, ur obviously not nasty from what i can gather because u sed u feel sorry for her n u know its an awful fing she's goin thru, n from the comments ive seen u put on the threads u dont seem like a nasty person to me x x x

poppy70 · Jul 15, 2011 3:35PM

aw don't beat yourself you are far from nasty. And if Im honest I ve thought similar things. Its completely normal(I hope!) to have these kinds of thoughts. So stop thinking bad of yourself xxxx

wibblewobble1 · Jul 15, 2011 3:45PM

I don't think your a bad person. Jealousy is natural when you want something so bad.

Don't beat yourself up thinking karma will get you back, if you had no sympathy for your friend and were horrible to everyone else that got pg then maybe karma would step in... I think you'll be just fine

MrsH3 · Jul 15, 2011 3:47PM

Of course you're not nasty HannahBelle! Ttc is such a painful process and it seems to totally take over all of our thoughts. I've thought very similar things about friends I dearly love too- and felt the same guilt as you! Don't worry- and do let it all out on here cos there are lots of ladies who will have experienced just the same as you. Lots of love xx

xxMichaelaxx1986 · Jul 16, 2011 8:33AM

I think it's to do with the fact that you want a baby more than being a nasty person hun. I often feel pangs of jealousy when I see my friends with children and often think why can't that be me,.. I often think I must be such a bad person that that's why I can't become a mum.

Honestly hun, chin up our time will come your not a bad person. x

HannahBelle1979 · Jul 16, 2011 5:15PM

aww ladies, thanks so much for your replies. have been beating myself up all day. thought karma had got me as woke up with a jarred neck n was thinking that was my punishment! i think i can deal with that mind. just so long as i do get a bfp at some point.

know i was been silly and of course i feel terrible for her, just hopefully she'll fall preg again soon and everything will be ok for her.

thanks again ladies, really appreciate your support

han xxxxxx

wibblewobble1 · Jul 16, 2011 6:02PM

How long have you been ttc Hannah?

HannahBelle1979 · Jul 17, 2011 11:44AM

2 years and 9 months wibble wobble and no bfp yet! how about you? xx

WindyMiller · Jul 18, 2011 8:46AM

Hannah, if you're a nasty person, then I'm plain evil!

The things I have thought about when I've found out people are pregnant. My ex-house mate told me at 4 weeks and I even thought "well, there's still a chance she could miscarry" How awful is that??!!

Its just a symptom of the stress of ttc. We should give ourselves a break. xx

BroodyBettyBoopBoop · Jul 21, 2011 2:04PM

I'm sure you're not a horrible person at all. Don't beat yourself up. Feeling jealous is totally normal. You didn't wish her to miscarry and its in no way your fault. If people could will bad things to happen to others then there wouldn't be any need for wars and the world would be a mess. You're only human and your private emotions are not harming anyone else and did not make this happen. I also believe in karma but an understandable envy of something that you so badly want is not going to make anything bad happen to you or anyone else. xXx

feel awful for even thinking this!!

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