Friday Funnies

I am SO bored today - last day @ work before holiday so zero work to do!!

Here are my faves:
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I walked into a public toilet at the services on the M1 today where I found two cubicles. One was already occupied so I entered the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.

Suddenly, a voice came from the cubicle next to me: "Hello mate, how you doing?"

I thought it a bit strange but not wanting to be rude I replied "Yeah, not too bad thanks."

After a short pause, I heard the voice again "So, what you up to mate?"

Again I answered, although somewhat reluctantly - unsure what to say, I replied "Umm, just having a quick poo How about yourself?"

I then heard the voice for the third time....

"Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some d!ckhead in the loo next to me answering everything I say."

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A bear and a rabbit are takin' a sh1t in the woods
The bear turns to the rabbit and says: "Excuse me, do you have problems with sh1t sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit says: "No."
So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.