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DEVASTATED!!! pma needed please

hi ladies im sorry to sound so desparate,

bsically im 21 and hubby is 23, hubby has low sperm count, we have been TTC for 3 yrs now, we have been together for 5 yrs too.
we were refered for ICSI 2 yrs ago but then the regualtions changed that i needed to be 23 at the time i was only 19, our consulatant was bit useless and he discharged us, we went back in jan this yr and requested a new consultant, who was bloody fantastic i have ot say, she explained everything and re-assured us. then it came back to the age limit again..... so she sent a letter of appeal to our PCT . we had a reply back on thursday ..... they said NO! they said that unfortuntaly they cant fund us until im 23 but they WILL DEFINATLY fund us form my 23rd birthday onwards.
im not sure if this means that were are on the waiting until we cna get funded, which would mean that we will be at the top on my birthday or not??
hubby and i are devestated. it meant so much to us, and we have acheived soooooooo much these last 3 yrs, we both got new jobs with better pay and pension, we broughto ur own house, we got married last year, the housei s how we want it now. so all that is left is the BABY!!!
we plan on using these next 2 years to slowly decorate the baby room, buy the little tihngs and generally prepare. that was our plan anyway.... but as i had just finished reading the letter 3 OF MY FRIENDS rang me....... all three are pregnant!!!!!
it just felt like it was being rubbed in our faces, hubby doesnt show alot of emotion. but i had to put on a brave face, these girls are my firneds and i love them dearly and i am happy for them i really am.... but i just want to be part of that!!!! i feel so heart broken. ive not admitted tihs to anyone, everyone here thinks im ok and fne with the plan. BUT IM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!

sorry for the long rant, i jsut needed to get it out

thanks for listening ladies xx
Mrs E xx


  • I am so so sorry it must be like being slapped after you had so much hope with the appeal. Particularly to have three pregnancies announced.
    When you feel a little bit better could you write a letter to find out whether you can commence treatment on your birthday. At least you would find out the exact time involved
    take care
  • hi ladies, thank you for your messages they were greatly comforting.
    im feeling bit better now although everyday i hear of someone else being pregnant. DH keeps saying bloody sluts hahahah doesm ake me laugh but i know they aren't.
    we plan on starting to decorate the baby's room, getting things ready. xx
    other than that, going on holiday xx
  • I'm sorry that things are not going as planned.
    If it was me...I would do some of the things you will never be able to do if you had a baby. Get loads of stories together to tell the kids & grand kids. I know its painful (been there too) but try to keep busy for now & hopefully the time will fly by.
    Take care xxx

    [Modified by: WOOLY on May 06, 2009 07:53 PM]

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