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I think I've lost them

I think I've lost my babies. I dont know what to do. I went to get some dinner with my son at a garden centre, and went to have a wee. When I wiped there was brown blood. We came home, a 40 min journey, and I wiped again to find brown blood with brown stringy stuff, maybe tiny clots? Or my babies? I didn't say anything, but I know I got pregnant, as I did a early test on Fri morning and it came up with a very light but definate line. I didn't want to announce it as I was naughty to do one so early and i couldn't quite believe it and wanted to wait until the clinic confirmed it on Tues. Now I think they are gone. I am sat here and cant stop crying, my son is in the other room and I just cant speak. I really need a friend, anyone, but I cant talk to anyone as the IVF has been kept rather quiet as it usually is. The only friends who know are one who has recurrent miscarriages - cant cry to her for obvious reasons, and a friend who has no children - she wouldn't understand how I feel. I am sat here all alone, apart from being in charge of my autistic son and I cant take it. I know if I ring a dr they couldnt help me, what do I do??

I'm so sorry for posting this, I just feel so depressed and lonely. My husband is with his family and doesn't like to be disturbed, someone please help
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Replies

  • Hey honey,

    Please try to stop worrying!!!! Brown blood isn't anything to get too worried about as it could easily be from implantation - it's only if it turns to full on red AF that you might have lost them, even then some women do have a bleed and are still pg. We can't know either way at this stage obviously, but I definitey wouldn't presume you have lost them yet, especially as you got an early positive yesterday. Please please please try and relax, if your little embies are still in there trying to implant they need you to be calm and relaxed...so try and just hold onto that thought and wait it out a bit more. I know it is probably hell on earth worrying they could be gone but I really think they could still be in there and just digging in nice and deep. Try and rest, if your son likes videos or reading books or something quiet then do that with him so you can lie o the sofa, and try and keep up your positive thoughts. You are definitely not out of the race yet!!! Thinking of you chick, sending you big hugs.x.
  • Hi Lori

    I agree with Trixie, try and stop worrying. Could you maybe try and do another test - or have you done that already??

    Thinking of you hun xx
  • Hi Lori

    I've got my fingers crossed for you that the babies are just 'bedding in'.

    Having been through it (and just about to re-start after losing my first), you are welcome to give me a call if you want to chat. My email is [email protected].

    Take care

    Emma xx
  • I understand how you feel. I started to bleed before my test date & was totally devastated! I know you will worry until you do your test. I hope it is just an implantation bleed but know nothing I can say can ease how you feel right now. I have everything crossed for you xxxx
  • Thanks girls, I rang my hubby who rushed straight home. I have rested, and after a couple of hours the bleeding has stopped. I woulddn't have been quite so worried if it had just been blood, but with the clots, even though they were small, and the cramping and shooting pains in the cervix area, it just seemed too much like a miscarriage. My very first pregnancy just before my eldest ended in miscarriage - it went brown blood, then brown with clots and pain, then full period. My hubby put me straight to bed and I have had a sleep, and as i said the bleeding has stopped. Nothing there when I wipe. I am hoping that maybe it is just that both are implanting deep - stronger effect due to 2 doing it maybe? God, I hope so. I couldn't bare to lose them, so trying to get back to the positive thinking.

    Debbie, I might just do another test tomorrow and monday to check levels. Hope your doing ok x

    Thank you for your lovely replies, I'll let you know xxx
  • Hi Lori,
    I've only just logged on and seen your post - sending massive hugs and lots of thoughts to you. As the other ladies have said, this could just be delayed implantation - or any number of things, think about all the drugs that have been pumped through your system these last few weeks too. Also, it's really good that the bleeding has stopped now although even if it comes back don't worry - my friend is 32 weeks pregnant and bled for the first 6 weeks and everything is absolutely fine with her now, different bodies seem to do different things.
    You keep rested for the rest of the weekend, try and watch some easy-viewing TV or a girly DVD or flick through a magazine and keep calm. Do you have any Zita West books/CDs? I find her visualisation and relaxation techniques really helpful. Remember, you have done everything you can and it's out of your hands now - focus on sending your embies positive thoughts and lots of love.
    Sending you all my love - take care, Kate xxx
  • Thank you kate, I'm still having pain but no bleeding. Hopefully it is just all the drugs, as you say, positive thoughts have got me this far so I'll keep faith in my embies.


    xxx
  • The pains got worse, like period cramping, back pain and shooting pains down my hips. I've also started bleeding again, this time red with the same clots. I just pray that at least one will hold on. I am trying to hold it together and make it not a big deal in front of my sons, but the pains just keep getting stronger and its obvious I've lost at least one.
  • Hi Lorimumto2
    Sorry to read your post, I am thinking of you and hopefully you will get the news you are hoping for.

    Sarah
    xx
  • Hi Lori, try not to worry, it's quite common to have some bleeding especially with ivf, I had the same a little bit further on than you but again with the clot, I had lost one but the other hung on in there and I now have a beautiful 8 month old boy. Try to stay positive and rest. Ring your clinic on monday though unless they have an emergency line. Have you been given cyclogest pessaries? as when it happened to me They told me to increase them.
    Take care. x
    Mandy
  • Oh Lori, I am so sorry to read this but give your clinic a call and don't lose hope yet. I lost a lot of blood early on in my pregnancy because I was haemorrhaging but bubs was fine. I really hope this is the case for you too. Rest as much as you can and I have everything crossed for you. Thinking of you, big hugs. xxx
  • Morning girls, this morning I did a clearblue test and it came up pregnant 1-2, I knew after Fridays test that I was pregnant, but its good that I still have HCG in my urine, especially so early (would be day 26 of a cycle). I am using cyclogest, Mandy, and used one last night as usual. Prob TMI but when i went to the loo this morning the gunk from the pessary was browny red image Unfortunately I dont have enough of them to increase how many I use. I rang the emergency line yesterday but the dr wasn't helpful at all, just said yes, some women do bleed and yes, I could be losing them - THANKS!!! Grrr. Hubby was cross when I told him, we have paid ??4,400 for this treatment, and there was no support whatsoever or reasurance or explanation. Rachie - I really hope its just me, like you experienced. I am going to rest all today, so far pains aren't as bad as they were yesterday. I have decided that if I am still pregnant on Tuesday (clinic blood test) I am not going to work next week. The plan was to give it up anyway if i got pregnant, so i am putting my babies first. It can be quite a stressful, physical job. So, for now, I am trying to stay positive and concentrate on my pregnant result. Thanks for all the support, again, its helping to keep me sane! xxx
  • Hi Lori
    Pleased that the test was positive, fingers crossed it all works out for you.

    Sarah
    xx
  • Hi Lori

    I am pleased to hear that the test today was positive but sorry to hear about your stress. Hang on in there until Tuesdays test and keep trying to relax. Thinking of you xxx
  • Hi Lori, Dr's can be so insensitive! stay positive especially if you've had a positive result today! def ring the clinic tomorrow to explain what's happened and they you still had a BFP, wouldn't go into work next week though, put your feet up and relax! They only increased my cyclogest by 1 extra a day, morning, afternoon and evening, speak to them first though.
    Got everything crossed for you. x
    Mandy
  • Mandy, I am on 1x400mg Cyclogest a day, inserted at night before I go to sleep. Stopped bleeding at the moment, hopefully for good! I will be asking clinic if I can have more though I think. Been resting TOTALLY and have no pains now - hurrah!!! I still feel pregnant so I am feeling much better, especially after all the helpful comments on here with others who have experienced something similar x
  • Sending you a big big hug and lots of sticky dust - really good news about the CBD test and just keep calm (easier said than done) and rest and take care of yourself. I am on 2 of the pessaries per day so maybe ask your clinic about increasing the dose? My thoughts are with you hon xxxx
  • Hi Lori, so glad ur feeling better and bleeding stopped which is a good sign! give them a ring and they'll prob increase your cyclogest. Keep putting ur feet up! x
  • This morning i am feeling much more positive. No pains all yesterday and I stopped bleeding by dinnertime, with none since. It remained brown, and although it had stringy mucusy bits in, there weren't any proper clots in at any time. I have looked up a lot of info on implantation bleeds and early pregnancy bleeding, and I think maybe it was just a heavier than usual implantation bleed? Or sometimes the womb expels old blood which is brown and bitty. probably the second option brought on by first? I am pleased it has not turned to red and clotty, and my CB digital says Pregnant 1-2 again this morning so I am still pregnant. I have my appt at the clinic tomorrow morning so will ask their advice. For now, I am trying to forget about the scare, and relax in the knowledge that I am still pregnant. Of course, this will have to be confirmed that everything is ok tomorrow.

    Hope you are all well xxx
  • Hi lori,

    So glad that the bleeding has stopped and you are getting a positive result on the CBD tests!!! That's great news : ) Keep resting and looking after yourself. Looking forward to hearing it all confirmed tomorrow, but congratulations all the same on being pregnant!!!

    .x.
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