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Apparently i'm over stressed!!!!!!

hey ladies,



how are you all? i'm half way through my 3 month break off ttc and can you believe it, i've only been struck down with shingles of all illnesses to get!!!!! covered down right hand side of body with little blisters which are sore to say the least! all started about a week ago with aching skin and i thought i was getting flu, then a few days later i got a rash, not thinking anything of it, i just thought my cats needed fleaing again. but my hubby jokingly said maybe i had shingles. pahhh....looked it up on internet, went to the docs and boooooooom i have it! doc was really sweet tho, he was asking how i was dealing with everything, i completely broke down on him, balled like a baby, told him i'm not coping at all, he says i'm completly over stressed, i'm working too hard and i'm putting too much pressure on myself, i've been signed off work for the week!

i'd like to know how i'm meant to deal with all of this.



1. i'm stuck in a job i hate, i'm a teacher but can't get a teaching job for lack of experience so work in a restaurant working ridiculous hours and shit pay! i do a night bar job too to pay for extras so i'm constantly knackered.



2. My house needs so many things doing to it but because of the shit job i can't afford to do any thing!



3. the worst of all. 3 years off ttc, unexplained infetility. i ov every month, i get ewcm every month. we bd at that time every month and other times and i've not had a single bfp!



so yes i am putting pressure on myself. i spent yesterday crying in bed cos i feel like one fat failure! but until my cycle is broken i think i'll always feel like this.

got my next appoint on 4 th jan with consultant and he wants me back on clomid. but i'm gonna refuse it! i want putting forward for ivf now, enough is enough!!!!



sorry about the rant. i just have to get it out!

han x

Replies

  • Awww, Hannah,



    I can only sympathise totally with your situation. Although I do love my job, it pays apallingly and hubby's is no better (although he hates his job!). We have a 2 bed flat, which we struggle to pay for and have 2 half-decorated rooms and no storage, so I feel like its constantly a mess.



    What has really helped me feel more positive recently is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Its a long way off, but I am starting to see a glimmer of hope now. Is there any way your circumstances might improve sometime in the future? We will have paid off 2 loans and be in a position to get a better rate on our mortgage in 2 1/2 years time, so if we've coped for the last 2 1/2 years, we can carry on for another 2 1/2!



    On the IVF side, have you looked into going private and egg-sharing if the NHS won't fast-forward you to IVF? We were looking at paying out about ??600 for everything (credit cards were going to be helping us out there!)



    As for de-stressing, I find my pets help me do that, along with country walks and not arguing with hubby!!!



    Lots of Love and good wishes for you xxx
  • HannahBelle1979 so sorry to hear that you've got shingles and feeling really stressed.



    I can sympathise on the job front, I hate mine and I have done for the last 3 years. There are times when I just go home and cry as nothing seems to be working out on the job front and also with TTC. I know sometimes you can't help thinking 'when am I going to get a break?'. My only advice would be not to think of all the problems/issues that are making you unhappy all at once, I usually do and I end up feeling so low and helpless. Try to take small, positive steps to reach one or all of your goals. I started a uni course in Sept, even though I haven't been able to find a new job yet its nice to know that I'm doing something +ve that will help me in the future and with TTC I look forward to each appointment and like to think that its one step closer to a BFP.



    I hope you feel better soon take care of yourself and try to think that these things are sent to try us, they will make us stronger and things always work out in the end. We're waiting for the result of my DH's 2nd SA so should have the results on Thursday. I hope you get your BFP soon x
  • hey girls, thanks for your replies. its nice to know i'm not alone. i usually can cope with it all but i think i've let it all effect me recently. hopefully this week off will give me the rest i need! it seems your relaxed approach has worked for you windy, congratulations again hunny. i wish i could be more like you. ov a few days back and obviously couldn't bd cos i'm contagious and hubby won't come near me so the one thing is i know i'm def out this month! but thats fine, i won't be getting my hopes up for anything. maybe next month will be ours. i'll have built up my immunity and hopefully feel happier! fingers crossed xx
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