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Seen our consultant and....
....I'm even more confused!!!
Hubbie has now had 3 SA which have shown varying degrees of low and high counts, pretty bad motility, not great morphology, severe agglutination (clumping of the sperm). One of the SA showed antisperm antibodies (which means his body kills his own sperm), but that does not appear to be a problem in the other two samples. We have been told by two different cons who performed the SA's that we will need ICSI.
Now our cons says that it is not impossible to conceive naturally with hubbie's SA results, although it may not be as easy as it is for others. However, he thinks that me being so stressed out is the main thing preventing us from conceiving. He said we can keep trying and he seems very reassuring that we WILL conceive eventually or we can go for a 'quick fix' and have IVF (ICSI).............sounds simple if it weren't for the ??4-5k a go! In the end he seemed to be recommending IVF as I was saying I didn't know how much longer I oould go on with the disappointment each month.
It is a bit of a dilemma really.......on the one hand I'm really positive about what he said, and am pleased we COULD conceive naturally............on the other I don't know if I could cope if we keep trying like this for years.........but should we put oursleves through the financial, physical and emotional costs of IVF if we don't absolutely have to????
Hubbie and I had a calm chat about it last night and we're thinking we will plan to start IVF around Dec or Jan probably. We are both secretly hoping it wwill happen naturally in the meantime, but it gives me something to focus on, and means we have a good chance of conceiving one way or another. The clinics around us have around a 50-60% success rate, which is pretty good odds, although some we'd have to travel further to than others. So I am now going to get started on researching clinics etc. Hubbie is also on loads of vits, trying to stop smoking, eat more healthily, less caffeine etc in the hope that his sperm will improve enough for IVF rather than ICSI.
So all in all I am feeling much calmer and more positive at the moment.....
Can anyone give any advise on timescales for starting IVF, and when you're actually doing the IVF how long it takes from starting injections to having egg transfer? Also, anyone got any advice on how to choose a clinic and what questions to ask when looking around? xx
Hubbie has now had 3 SA which have shown varying degrees of low and high counts, pretty bad motility, not great morphology, severe agglutination (clumping of the sperm). One of the SA showed antisperm antibodies (which means his body kills his own sperm), but that does not appear to be a problem in the other two samples. We have been told by two different cons who performed the SA's that we will need ICSI.
Now our cons says that it is not impossible to conceive naturally with hubbie's SA results, although it may not be as easy as it is for others. However, he thinks that me being so stressed out is the main thing preventing us from conceiving. He said we can keep trying and he seems very reassuring that we WILL conceive eventually or we can go for a 'quick fix' and have IVF (ICSI).............sounds simple if it weren't for the ??4-5k a go! In the end he seemed to be recommending IVF as I was saying I didn't know how much longer I oould go on with the disappointment each month.
It is a bit of a dilemma really.......on the one hand I'm really positive about what he said, and am pleased we COULD conceive naturally............on the other I don't know if I could cope if we keep trying like this for years.........but should we put oursleves through the financial, physical and emotional costs of IVF if we don't absolutely have to????
Hubbie and I had a calm chat about it last night and we're thinking we will plan to start IVF around Dec or Jan probably. We are both secretly hoping it wwill happen naturally in the meantime, but it gives me something to focus on, and means we have a good chance of conceiving one way or another. The clinics around us have around a 50-60% success rate, which is pretty good odds, although some we'd have to travel further to than others. So I am now going to get started on researching clinics etc. Hubbie is also on loads of vits, trying to stop smoking, eat more healthily, less caffeine etc in the hope that his sperm will improve enough for IVF rather than ICSI.
So all in all I am feeling much calmer and more positive at the moment.....
Can anyone give any advise on timescales for starting IVF, and when you're actually doing the IVF how long it takes from starting injections to having egg transfer? Also, anyone got any advice on how to choose a clinic and what questions to ask when looking around? xx
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Replies
Anyway i too hope you get your bfp b4 ivf hon XX
Not really been on much recently as trying (without much success) to make my mind off all things TTC related.
I agree with LL that it is great news that there is a good chance of you conceiving naturally - brilliant stuff. I think that setting a date in the future for IVF is a good way to go, because it gives you a goal to work towards and there is every chance the stars will align for you in the meantime. I'm so, so looking forward to reading your BFP post.
In my opinion, that's a bit mean for the consultant to say that your stress is "causing" things not to happen at the moment. He doesn't know that...so don't even contemplate giving yourself a hard time. That being said, being anxious about anything is never fun, so is there anything you can which might help you relax in general? I did a relaxation and hypnosis fertility CD for a while, and although I'm not generally a big fan of that sort of thing I enjoyed it because it gave me licence to switch off from the real world and have these strong, positive visual images of conceiving and holding our baby. I didn't feel at all indulgent doing it, and it didn't make me feel down - because it was all in the context of getting myself ready for it happening (sorry if this is all a bit garbled). I know it didn't work for me in that it didn't result in a BFP, but I think it did help me relax. Also, I know one of the ladies over on the TTC board got her BFP while using a similar CD, and she swore it made a difference. And hey - anything has to be worth a try on this crazy rollercoaster ride??
MrsD
Hey shellk, thanks for your message too hon. You're right about me relaxing more if I know when it's starting....I really think that's why I feel much calmer now. Part of me thinks before xmas could be a good time to start as we'd have xmas hols off to relax anyway so wouldn't have to take additional time off work. We plan to have stress-free xmas this yr for a change. Thanks hon.
xx
I know you've replied to my other threads, just wanted to send you a hug x
I hate it when people say don't stress, easier said than done, you just feel like saying, walk a mile in my shoes! More than a handful of people have said this too me but they have no real understanding of how stressful this is. One mate who conceived after 3 months told me " when i stopped thinking about it, it just happened!" Grrrrrrrhhhh. I'm sure, thing thing is, i have to check for ovulation, take pill's days 2 -6, monitor cm, and temp, cope with hot flushes and hormones, get scans and bloods done on each month and then cope with dreaded 2ww, knowing that as each month goes pass i am wondering if i will ever be a parent and how will i save ??5,000 for a go at IFV, oh and if i do by some miracle ever get a bfp, i will have to go straight to Early Pregnancy Unit to make sure its not in my tube! Yeah, i'll try not to think about it! lol, that obviously touched a nerve, look at me taking over your thread!
I really think IFV in the new year is a good idea, I know when we were told we couldn't even try for 3 months after Ectopic it was like a weight lifted, took all the stress and anxiety away, as I knew there was nothing I could do. Im not saying this is the same, but I think it could be used in the same way. Just use the next 4 months to work on marriage and enjoying christmas, save some cash and getting bodies as fit as possible, knowing you have a plan in the new year, and of course continue to BD, just incase, then if you get a BFP, great, amazing, if not you know you have a plan for 2010, and you can hopefully start the new year with some renewed PMA. I totally understand about not wanting to keep trying month after month, it is exhausting and seems endless, there does come a point when another 2ww and BFN is unbearable.
Good luck with whatever it is you choose to do...
P.s, your reply to my thread made me laugh, on bad days i also remind hubbie, if we don't BD he better get a second job to pay of IFV! Awful, but sadly true! Infertility got to be the most stressful thing ever, beats getting married and moving house hands down!
xxx
I know jan 10 is a more sensible option, but I am fixated on Dec 09! I think, probably because we started trying in 08, so it makes it seem like we've been TTC even longer. How weird is that....just for the sake of a month? I guess I will have to see how it all pans out with clinics anyway.
You're so right about LTTTC being the most stressful thing ever. My hubbie seems amazed at how stressed I have been getting, and one day I just shouted at him through my snotty nose and teary eyes that this is the worst, most stressful thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I guess I have been very fortunate in my life so far and things have been relatively starightforward (which I am very thankful for). It seems such a melodramatic way to put it, but the reality is that it is horrendous to deal with. I know worse things have happened to other people, but for me this is the worst, and I am finding it hard to cope with as a result.
Thanks for being so understanding honey. You have been through so much yourself, and I really do hope that you get your BFP very soon lovey, I really do. xxx
I completely understand where you are coming from and you have to do what is right for you and dh. As others have said setting a goal to go to is a really good way to distract you for the time being and give you something to aim for and as Gem says it may just feel like a bit of weight has been lifted knowing no matter what happens over the next 2-3 months that you will get some help to reach your dreams.
(PS I agree with this being the worst thing to have gone through, I too have had it quite easy as others would see it and this is a hard thing to deal with x)
Also glad I'm not the only one who sees this as the worst thing they've been through (although obviously not glad you're expereincing the same feelings) - I felt like a bit of a spoilt brat writing that down, but it's how I feel. Cheers honey xxx
Have you thought about doing something like reflexology or something to help with the stress?
xxx
I cant really add much more to what the other girls have said, as we are in early stages of tests im not to sure I have the knowledge in what advise I could offer you.
What I will say is that if you have something to focus on this may take out part of the stress & this could be when you conceive naturally!! Especially if dh has made changes to help with sperm quality.
It is horrible when people tell you not to stress or to relax as it's just not that easy!!! But I know women who have had something to focus on like a ivf appt & conceived naturally in that time as it took the pressure off by knowing they were getting the help they needed/wanted.
Sending you lots of hugs & pma xxxx
Laujai, thanks for your reply hon. I know you have had totally different experiences to mine, but I think we can still empathise with how one another are feeling...and I guess it all boils down to the same thing, that we would love to have a baby and haven't been able to so far for one reason or another. I agree it is awful when people tell you to relax....it's so blimmin' obvious that we need to relax....if it was THAT easy wouldn't we have magically done that already???!!!! But, I agree I've also heard lots of similar stories so am hoping that may happen for us, and if not we will be having IVF anyway! Thanks hon.
Cheers ladies xx
[Modified by: tinybabydancer on September 29, 2009 10:54 AM]
Hoping that as the natural route hasn't been ruled out you'll be one of the great stories where you get your BFP before IVF.
How are you honey? Haven't seen you around on here for a bit? Any progress with things or feeling any brighter? xx
U werent the only one that spent a day of researching IVF yesterday...
Im just preparing myself for it, incase thats the route we have to take also.
xx
Hows everyone today?
If you want any info let me know as I've been reading loads!
I'm feeling a bit more positive today. How are you doing hon? xx