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Have you told friends and family?
Hello, I have just joined. This is the first time I have signed up to one of these sites. I have avoided doing so before now as I had looked at them and thought I would struggle with all of the happy announcements of BFPs.
To introduce myself, I am 30 and my husband 34. We have been TTC for 2 years 3 months. I have had blood tests which show I am ovulating and my husband has had a sperm test. He has low motility and borderline normal range morpholgy (? I forget what the correct word is). We have been referred to a fertility clinic and are waiting to get an appointment at a fertility clinic.
When I came across this forum I thought it would be nice to join and chat to others, as apart from my husband, no one else knows we are even trying for a baby let alone having difficulties. I have been with my partner 11 years and for years we have been asked by family and friends when we will have children. A few friends who have children told everyone when they starting to try, and although they have all conceived, a couple took about a year and it seemed like everyone was watching and waiting for the announcement. I did not want this pressure - to be watched each time we went out with friends to see if I was drinking so we decided not to tell anyone we were starting to try and here we are over two years later.
I am wondering whether you have told family and friends of your problem and whether you are glad people know? I am reluctant to tell people as do not want pity. I am at the age where friends are starting to have babies and do not want them to fear telling us. What is your experience? I think partly by not telling people, I feel like I do not have to admit there may be a problem, so joining this site is my first step to accepting that maybe we will not have a baby.
A friend announced she was pregnant with her second child last weekend, despite having a coil fitted, and her husband was joking all weekend about how he has 'super sperm'. If they knew about us, they would have avoided such talk and I do not want that. I want our friends and family to be the same around us.
There seem to be so many people pregnant at the moment - friends & colleagues that I do struggle to be happy for them without thinking how unfair it is that they conceived so easily. Everytime I log into Facebook, someone else seems to have happy news. I therefore hope this site will be a good chance to talk to people about what I am going through as my husband does not understand the extent of my desire, and takes the view 'what will be will be'.
To introduce myself, I am 30 and my husband 34. We have been TTC for 2 years 3 months. I have had blood tests which show I am ovulating and my husband has had a sperm test. He has low motility and borderline normal range morpholgy (? I forget what the correct word is). We have been referred to a fertility clinic and are waiting to get an appointment at a fertility clinic.
When I came across this forum I thought it would be nice to join and chat to others, as apart from my husband, no one else knows we are even trying for a baby let alone having difficulties. I have been with my partner 11 years and for years we have been asked by family and friends when we will have children. A few friends who have children told everyone when they starting to try, and although they have all conceived, a couple took about a year and it seemed like everyone was watching and waiting for the announcement. I did not want this pressure - to be watched each time we went out with friends to see if I was drinking so we decided not to tell anyone we were starting to try and here we are over two years later.
I am wondering whether you have told family and friends of your problem and whether you are glad people know? I am reluctant to tell people as do not want pity. I am at the age where friends are starting to have babies and do not want them to fear telling us. What is your experience? I think partly by not telling people, I feel like I do not have to admit there may be a problem, so joining this site is my first step to accepting that maybe we will not have a baby.
A friend announced she was pregnant with her second child last weekend, despite having a coil fitted, and her husband was joking all weekend about how he has 'super sperm'. If they knew about us, they would have avoided such talk and I do not want that. I want our friends and family to be the same around us.
There seem to be so many people pregnant at the moment - friends & colleagues that I do struggle to be happy for them without thinking how unfair it is that they conceived so easily. Everytime I log into Facebook, someone else seems to have happy news. I therefore hope this site will be a good chance to talk to people about what I am going through as my husband does not understand the extent of my desire, and takes the view 'what will be will be'.
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Replies
I've been ttc for almost 3 years. A couple of our friends know but mostly trying to keep it quiet.
I hate being asked by people if we're going to have a baby, how do you answer that? I normally just say we'll see.
We've had tests and everything seems to be fine so just keep trying. It is very frustrating though and beginning to think it might never happen.
We haven't really told any1 that we were ttc but i guess its assumed after our mc. We've also had to tell DH family that we're having tests done as he works for the family business and let it slip that i was going to hospital for a scan (HSG) so they instantly assumed i was pg and would be announcing soon!
In some ways thou as much as i'm glad people don't know i wish they did as it may stop all so when are u gonna have another? any news? which really just make me wanna scream. xxxx
A handful of my friends know - it started out they didn't - but as time goes on it was harder to keep it from them as we are all so close - and I was disapearing for blood tests left right and centre!
I've just told my boss - because I'm taking time off sick - the doc has signed me off with stress because of it all. But other tha that my family (well apart from one of my sis) doesn't know anything.
It is hard - especially when people keep asking you dreaded baby questions!
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People at work keep dropping hints, just coming up to 1st year since our wedding. So as lucille says, everyone just assumes you get married then have a baby. Well the amount of times I wished I could shout out "we are trying!!!" but don't want to as it just feels too personal.
We didn't tell anyone apart from my best mate that we were TTC until we went for the tests and found out about our problems and that I would be having an operation and a spell in hospital and then IVF, we have now told Family and a handful of friends, and my immediate boss at work. I must admit it makes it easier that they now know Xx