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The Outlaw Outlet.

My inlaws are visiting, to meet DS for the first time. They live about 300 miles away so thankfully can't just pop in.

My inlaws are.....well, they're special people. Spectacularly self absorbed, rude and totally lacking in any kind of social acumen, but with a veneer of saccharine that means any annoyed response can be met with a wide eyed gaze and "but we had no idea you'd take it the wrong way.... we didn't MEAN it like that....".

I hate them with a passion. They've done many, many things to piss me off over the years, but an excellent illustration of what they're like is how they acted after my DD was born nearly 4 years ago. She was a 35 weeker, taken to SCBU for low blood sugars and subsequently diagnosed with a huge brain haemorrhage, one that approximately 45% of babies survive, the majority of those going on to show the ill effects of huge neurological damage. We rang them to say there was a problem, FIL's immediate reaction was "Is she dead?". Sensitive. Thanks. They came down the day after she was diagnosed. They moaned that she had goggles on as she was under lamps for severe jaundice and asked why we couldn't just turn the lights off for fifteen minutes so they could see her eyes. They then left the hospital, me assuming they would return the following day. No, they flew off as planned on their three week tour of Canada, leaving us instructions to 'email them daily to let them know she's still alive'. The morning after I left hospital, leaving her behind, they rang us at 5.15 A.M. to berate us for not emailing the night before. They knew what time it was, "wanted to catch us before we left to spend the day at the hospital". Didn't think that I would sit bolt upright in bed, convinced the only reason the phone would ring at that time would be the hospital with bad news.

Anyway. I hate them. For my sanity, and your amusement, I plan to use this thread to offload the snippets of their behaviour that would otherwise have me biting a pillow.

Today's special treats - they turned up at 4-ish, left at 6, telling us they didn't expect us to feed them. Well, good, I had no plans to! However, they DID expect that it would be fine for them to come back after checking into their hotel and having dinner - because obviously I'd welcome visitors at 8pm, after I'd put my 3 year old to bed to hopefully sleep and was mid-evening-mass-cluster-feed with a two week old baby. Clots.

Also, they blithely claimed that my spitting-image-of-his-sister newborn "looks nothing like his sister". Oh yes he does, he's the spit of her, I protest! No. Apparently I'm wrong, he looks nothing like she did. Oh well, I only gave birth to them, what do *I* know? Silly me.

DD:

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v97/167/105/574711501/n574711501_166014_7367.jpg



DS. Ignore the yellow!:

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs281.snc3/27728_384227096501_574711501_4438917_1446308_n.jpg



They're here till Thursday. I hope you're all ready for the next installments. There will be much hilarity.

[Modified by: MrsSetters on 27 April 2010 20:07:22 ]

Replies

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    Ooh I love a good annoying inlaw story!! Some people, what planet are they on? I also think your children look the spitting image of eaxh other!

    H x
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    Nah...they look nothing like each other...you'd never even know they were related! NOT!!!!!

    Honestly - some people! I look forward to the updates - makes me feel less guilty about my homicidal thoughts towards my MIL!

    Good luck Beth!

    Hxx
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    Bloody parents!! I totally empathise mrs s - only difference for me is that its myu own parents who are the pains in the ass as my inlaws are fantastic. The downside of this is that I put up with far more of their crap than I should as I still love them - even if they piss me off all the time and I don't always actually like them! Grrr.
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    Clots sounds like a mild word for them! So glad your dd was ok, that must have been horrendous.

    Looking forward to the next update image
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    "Does Freya have a middle name? I can't remember."

    Yes. Two in fact. Her other grandparents manage to recall them both!!!
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    Omg!!!!
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    Quite. If they had a raft of grandchildren with multiple names I might even attempt to be understanding, but until DS was born, she was the only grandchild they had!
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    Mrs S & Feebs i can totally relate to your frustrations and feel i may be filling DIM forum with my own running commentry in a week or so. It's also my mum not MIL that is the problem. Your def not alone.x
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    "Does Freya have a middle name? I can't remember."

    Yes. Two in fact. Her other grandparents manage to recall them both!!!

    Flipping heck!!!!
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    Even better, today we had "So, what date did you two get married again? I can't remember".

    August 22nd. LAST YEAR. I think she needs to go for one of those senility tests!!! So nice to know that all the money my parents and we spent on the wedding made suich a fecking impact on her, eh?

    She also KEEPS going on, every time the baby does something, "Oh, that's a Christopher lip quiver!". "Oh, that's a Christopher pout!". "Those white spots in his mouth, it might be thrush (it wasn't, it was milk!) - Christopher had thrush, you know".

    All this would be lovely if I was married to Christopher, but I'm not, my DH is called James - Christopher is his older brother. Mightn't it be nice to compare the baby to his, yunno, actual father? She is more stupid than a paramecium. If she does it again I'm going to suggest she checks our calendar and make sure Christopher wasn't visiting in late July last year, as she seems to think I was impregnanted by the wrong brother!

    Also, they said they were visiting "Tuesday and Wednesday". So would someone explain why they are still here, staying tonight and demanding to come back tomorrow morning for more visiting? It's not like we have a life, or plans to enjoy the last of DH's paternity leave or anything. GAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
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    Oh dear God! They really are hideous aren't they? So sorry for you that they're still invading, that really takes the wee! You've told me this a million times, so I'll say it to you...breath...it will be over soon...

    Medal on its way for you!

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    oh mrs s they sound like total nightmares. i cant believe they keep comparing ethan to your BIL!!!

    My parents have demonstrated some doting grandparent behaviour themselves this week - as I mentioned before my in laws are amazing and really supportive, looking after DD1 2 days a week when I'm working and since Grace has been born they've had been helping out loadfs. Anyway back in Feb they booked a 2 week holiday from 27th April - 12th May so I asked my mum back then if she would be able to come and stay and help with Jess for a few days each week while they were away. Mum at the time was more than happy to help but since Grace has been born she's now decided that it isn't actually that convenient! As DH was on paternity leave this week then only time I really needed a bit of support is next week tues-thurs. Knowing this, my parents decided to go away for a long weekend from Thurs til tues (even through they were supposed to be back on Monday originally) and they've also voluteered to man their local polling station on Thursday (although they are only on standby for this so not even firmly committed). So the only day they can come over is Wednesday which wasnt exactly what i really need but it's bettere than nothing. They live 90 mins away so I asked if they could be here for 10.30 to take dd1 to a gym class but when mum realsied this would mean being on the road before 9 she's now not sure if she can guarantee that!!!! so basically she's going to turn up at midday, expect me to make lunch (she won't offer to make lunch for me as she wants to spend quality time with her granddaughters), play with the girls while i tidy up and feed grace a few times, and then head off at 4ish to miss the traffic becuase my dad is incapable of making his own tea. Whilst she's here she'll no doubt continue her critism (which started on the phone earlier this week) of my inability to have Grace in a routine yet and will hound me to speak to the HV about my milk supply as 'it's not right that Grace is such a hungry baby'.

    I'd really rather she didn't come at all but she'll get offended if I suggest this so I won't....

    Parents.....grrrr
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    sorry - that was a bit of a long rant - didn't mean to hog your thread Mrs S!!

    PS - you got married on my birthday image
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    OMG, that's awful (both of you!). My MIL is a bit in your face but she means well and would do anything for you (verging on too much, but I shouldn't grumble about that!).

    Beth - can't your DH have a word?
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    Hog away Feebs, it's good to have a place to moan!

    Lizzie, DH is a fantastic bloke but he HATES confrontation. He isn't at all close to his parents, TBH I think they've been really shit and pretty uncaring parents all through his life, and his Dad was a very stern disapproving force in his childhood, so he won't do the big confront with them.

    That said, he did impress me yesterday, when DD asked why the dog couldn't come in the house & MIL made some snarky comment about 'Mummy not wanting him in the house' and went on to say he didn't like cats, and DH butted in "No, he's not allowed in because he can't be trusted not to bite our children!"

    That, for him, is huge - he's getting better!
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