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Am I being unfair? UPDATE- I want to slap my MIL

I don't know where to start........

I've been on Anti-Depressants for PND for a few months now. I've been really struggling but have really been trying to be positive. For the last week and a half, I have just sank deeper and deeper into depression. The last 5 days have been awful. I haven't stopped crying, have had thoughts about hurting myself. I have struggled to even step foot outside the front door. I just feel like a zombie. I went to the doctors yesterday and she doubled my dose of Anti D's. She wanted me to go into hospital but I refused because I don't want to be away from my DD so she gave me some information on councellors for which I have to pay for.

Anyway, my problem is my in-laws. Since I had DD the have come round to our house about 5-6 times (in 21 weeks). They always want us to go round there so they can see DD. We have been taking her round there but the last 2 weeks have just been too much so we haven't gone. We have stressed to them (as we have many times since we have had her) that they are welcome to come round whenever they want- But they won't! The last time they came I was cooking tea in the kitchen and had LO in her pram as I do everyday but they just stood at the back door. They now are saying that they won't come round because I didn't make them welcome last time (I can't drop everything just to entertain them, I have to cook tea and do the cleaning etc). Anyway, they text DH on Friday and said "What day will you be bringing Holly round this weekend". DH text back and said Sunday depending on how I was feeling. On Saturday, FIL called DH and said "if you don't bring her round tomorrow then we don't want to see her again!" As I said the last 5 days have been especially difficult so DH said that we wouldn't be coming round but they could come round to ours to see her but they didn't.
Yesterday, DH's brother came round and his girlfriend told me that MIL was crying because we weren't letting them see her (which is a lie). So I text her and said how much I was struggling to cope and that they are welcome to come round anytime but at the moment, I can't face going out the front door. They live a 3 minute drive from here. I really honestly have tried making the effort but I don't know what else I can do. I haven't got the strength to do much more. She didn't text me back so I can only assume they have fallen out with us. I am so worried though because FIL is a very sly, coniving person, he would be the sort of person to take us to court for them to get access or call social services to say I'm an unfit mother (he's a nasty man).

Am I being unfair in not taking her round at the moment because I feel so low? We have been taking her but I just can't at the moment. I just can't cope!


So she just called DH to say she was going to pop round before going to the gym. I was changing LO when she got her and she didn't say anything to me! She was here for about 40 mins during which time DH left to go and play golf. She hardly said 2 words to me (I don't think she'd have said anything if she could have). When she left she just snapped "BYE" and that was it. After everything I told her about how I was feeling she has obviously taken no notice. She makes me feel so crap! She just makes me want to hit her! HARD!

[Modified by: Little Buggaroo on 19 September 2010 11:57:50 ]


  • Absolutely not honey! You are well within your rights, and I personally wouldn't want them in my son's life if they were that petty and deceitful! I really do k ow how you feel, but opposite to you if I don't leave the house I lose my mind! I'm finding swimming so therapeutic at the moment...

    Stick to your guns sweetie, they cannot do anything you don't want them to, so just look after yourself and don't worry about stupid people!

    Big hugs

  • oh hon, I don't have much of anything useful to say apart from try not to let it get to you - the problem is their not yours. Let your DH handle them as much as possible and sort out his mum's ruffled feathers - they're his parents after all.

    I really hope you're feeling a bit better soon.

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