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Help for 1st time mums x
I thought it would be nice if any 2nd/3rd+ mums had any advise they would give to our new mummys to be. (I know there was lots of things i did first time round, that i wouldn't do again)
It can be anything from things that are/aren't worth buying:
Birthing advice: pre-natal advise ect ............
Come on girls, show us your words of wisdom
It can be anything from things that are/aren't worth buying:
Birthing advice: pre-natal advise ect ............
Come on girls, show us your words of wisdom
0
Replies
Don't listen to stupid people who as soon as you find out your pregnant start telling you how bad/painful it is! Their just trying to make you feel bad and them look like wonder women. Everybody knows labour is going to hurt but it's also the most wonderful, euphoric experience you'll ever experience.
Try not to put too much detail into your birthing plan, things don't always go to plan so it's good to be relaxed about the process and always tell your oh if there is anything you definately do or don't want in labour, so they can tell the mw's. You won't always be in the right frame of mind when they ask you. Sure i'll add lots more as later
I also bought the Natal Hypnotherapy CD which I would really highly recommend. I started listening to it at about 32 weeks and was really relaxed for the birth. Although I wouldn't say it was pain free, it was really straightforward and fairly quick and I put much of that down to being relaxed going into it.
I look forward to hearing other people's tips!!
xxx
And if anyone can recommend a good book to read pre-baby, I would appreciate that too. I know there's not a "Guide to Babies", but practical advice would be really handy.
Pre birth - relax as much as possible, sleep as and when you can, and prepare lots of meals for the freezer. Also make the most of meeting up with friends as it is now months sometimes before i see some of mine.
Labour - be open minded to what could happen. Dont be too rigid in your plan as things may not happen the way you want them too, have a list of things you really dont want to compromise on and let the rest go. Prepare for a c-section even if there's very little chance you might have one, you never know whats going to happen and its best to be prepared!
First few weeks - do what you want to do when you want to do it (apart from baby!). If you don't want visitors, don't have them, if you want to sleep rather than do chores, sleep! You need to recover too and a tired mummy does not a happy baby make! Take up people's offers for help, i'm quite proud of my home but my MIL came and helped and even now 2 1/2 years later she still cleans and irons for me regularly to help me out!
Most of all, pick your battles and ignore the silly little things people will say, it's your baby you bring it up how you want! These tiny little creatures grow up so fast, I really regret not taking more photos and playing more!
Join all the baby clubs - supermarkets, milk and baby food brands and websites as you get lots of freebies and offers.
I brought lots of baby products in advance when on offer - but note, unless you get a very hairy baby, you dont need much shampoo! Im only just on my second bottle and my LO is 2yrs 3 months!
Definatly stock up on nappies! I had too many size 1 and just took them back to sainburys un opened and changed for the next size after my LO arrived.
Great idea for a post! xx
My waters broke without contractions and so I was induced - that also isn't as bad as you think, I know a lot of people say it's awful but to me it was ideal because the baby was monitored throughout.
Also, we had a student midwife in with us the whole time - don't turn these down - you're likely to get better care because they usually look after you and only you and also if they're not sure they have their superiors there in an instant.
Don't be scared of the episiotomy - it's not that bad. It doesn't hurt that much to go to the toilet afterwards and it heals REALLY quickly. Unless you get an infection like I did and that was painful - I didn't know, I thought it was meant to hurt.
Don't be surprised at the amount of maternity pads you go through. Two packs are not enough. 5 packs are probably not enough. Try 10 packs.
Don't be surprised if as soon as you bend down to sit on the toilet that you cannot control your bladder - it does eventually return but takes a while. Remember to get some sanitary pads after you stop using the maternity pads.
DO YOUR PELVIC FLOOR EXERCISES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I throw up now I end up wetting myself if I've not emptied my bladder. TMI I know but you need to know the real stuff.
The biggest shock for me was that I didn't feel like I'd given birth...iykwim, I thought it would feel like I'd passed a watermelon and I'd know about it but surprisingly I didn't at all. I think it was because I was totally relaxed about it all. Don't tense up it will make things worse. Practise just thinking about pushing baby out and looking forward to the good stuff.
Don't spend a fortune on a new pram. You wont use it long enough. You will want to get a umbrella fold stroller within a year. If you want a fancy brand pram, look second hand. This was the best advice I got from my friends.
Save, save, save as much as you can. xxx
Will add some bits when I have a chance x
The biggest shock to me was breastfeeding, all that talk of it not hurting yada yada, erm... its bloody painful unless you are one of the extreme lucky ones, I know no-one who didn't have an initial latch on pain at the beginning (only lasts a few weeks) but the whole thing is hard and painful til you both learn to do it - then its great
Don't stress over your birth plan, things will go how they go but do make sure hubby knows your wishes and checks with you at the time.
And look forward to being a mummy, its really the best thing ever but the hardest job in the world! x
The breastfeeding this IS HARD. Keep ringing the bell in hospital and make them help you latch on. Don't be afraid to be annoying. If you want to bf it is the best thing in the world and again, if you're a prude like me, get a breastfeeding cover so you don't feel so self conscious about exposing yourself in public. I ended up bf for 8 months, only giving up once I told the doc I was pg again but it was a struggle for months and months. I don't think I ever had enough milk but lo was putting on weight but I ended up taking Fenugreek tablets to increase my supply. Pumping is annoying. Don't bother with a hand pump, get a electric one - Avent Isis was better and I had the Medela Swing one too but didn't rate that as much as it sucked your nipple far to far into the spout and your nipple ends up 4 times the size!
Take every day as it comes, is a great bit of advise. If someone visits weeks after the birth and the house is slightly messy, who cares you have a little one to look after now, they come first.
Don't buy too much, babies aren't in their first clothes for more than a couple of weeks. Try and buy a few baby grows in each size, because a couple of lbs makes alot of difference. My friend gave birth the week after me and all of the clothes she'd bought wouldn't fit cause baby was 10lbs.
Remember that 0-3 months is not the first size. Their is also, tiny baby, prem baby and the normal sizes 7lb,9lb ect.....
Don't panic about pooing, examinations ect ect, i thought i'd be so embarrassed but once the time come i simply didn't care.
Go through your maternity bag with your oh so he knows where your things are. My oh speant so long looking for my nighty, i'd already given birth in my brand new top
If you do decide to breast feed, make sure the mw takes the time to show you how the baby should latch on. It only takes the baby to latch on once wrong and you will be in agony.
I'll have a think of some more tomorrow, glad this thread is giving some good advise x
sleep. a lot.
do pregnancy yoga/pilates for birth preparation.
birth- stay calm! it will hurt, but its supposed to! every contraction you breath out, like a piece of string that you blow away, and away till its very far away. Practice everyday, breathe in ur nose and out ur mouth. This is the best way to get the most oxygen into ur body (nose not mouth) and the blowing away will help you relax.
birth pool, try it out, didnt help me but may help you.
frigging get the gas and air, my mean ass MW didnt give me any.... what??? ask for it lol
post birth- get ur fave things to eat and drink in ur changing bag, i had coke cola and beef hula hoops, lush.
take baggy trousers for going home in, comfy = best.
TENS machine, dont bugger up ur order like me and end up with nothing lol
baby is here yay-
its normal for a newborn to feed off the boob for hrs and all day long. theyre stomachs are the size of walnuts and its digested quickly so needs refilling almost hourly for the first few days or weeks.
breast pads... buy lots, and diff brands... some itch!
salt baths after birth, helps bruises or any tears etc (doesnt hurt) i got an infection after birth due to lochia on my graze and was on anti b's... my mum told me to have a salt bath and within hrs i was back to normal. it used to be 'normal practice' but now isnt??? weird (normal household salt... a handful for 1 full bath)
try and be maternity pad 'free' for a few hrs a day, sit on an old dark towel for a while (lochia depending) or some crap black nics from primark, gives ur lady area some freedom as maternity pads for 3 solid weeks can make u feel a bit... mank on ur lady bits.
frozen maternity pads if u have had stitches to help cool them.
dont feel like co sharing a bed will do ur baby harm, done correctly and safely can actually let u and baby sleep for the first few weeks, we did this and got sleep instead of hours of time spent trying to get my 3 day old baby in a moses basket (she did not care for this)
have infacol in the house for baby's wind, just in case.
think thats all from me... sorry to gatecrash
much love xxx
S x
Do as much pre-birth as you can, go out with your OH a LOT - you'll be sat on the couch, boobs out, possibly sobbing as well, pretty much the whole time for weeks afterwards, the cinema will be the last thing on your mind, trust me!
Baby blues is very, very normal, as is not having the instant rush of love. Ignore those "and the second my baby was born my life was complete" women - some have that, most dont, and it can take weeks to get the fierce touch-them-and-I'll-kill-you love...but you *will* get it, I promise (took me a few weeks!)
Dont worry about birth, its going to happen whether you like it or not, and at the end of the day, as long as you all go in, and one extra comes home, all in one piece, that's the main thing. Even a section is not too bad, but listen to the MW's, DO NOT LIFT ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE BABY! I cannot reiterate this enough. You will do yourself damage, cause an infection and set yourself back weeks. Sit on your ass, eat chocolate and have everything done for you. If needs be, bite your tongue and get MIL to stay - for the 3wks of annoyance you'll gain weeks of your life back in movement and enjoying your baby.
Do NOT feel guilty if you dont breast feed, or cant, or combine, or have problems and eventually have to give up. Yes, breast is best, but many women are unable to do it, that's what formula is there for. If you cant do it yourself, you cant, and wont, starve your baby, so you will use formula. End of. Tell anyone who tries to tell you otherwise, or tries to make you feel bad, to resoundly eff off back on their high horse and b*gger off and leave you alone.
Finally, my Blue Peter handy tip, if you run out of breast pads while out, cut two circles from a nappy - works a treat!
Oh - and welcome to the best club in the whole wide world - it rocks!!